Fenes said:I think this is a case of "21st century society". Unless otherwise specified, I'd consider the militia leader in the wrong in just about all matters.
Logically - the leader is threatening a much more powerful character that can save or lay waste to the entire keep.
Structually - the milita man does not even listen to the priestess.
Socially - the militia man, a commoner from what it seems, is messing with a noble.
The last point alone would be enough in my campaign to make characters look up, and check for signs of corruption or treason - commoners don't do such stuff, unless something is up, and while it may be just the stress, or some ego, it could be treason in the making or something else.
In my campaign, the social order is established - people consider following orders from the aristocracy as the right thing, there's even a goddess for this. Commoners (with some exceptions) don't consider themselves equal to nobles. Even my non-noble player character does not consider herself equal to the noble player character in the party, and follows orders.
Now add in player character power, and it becomes a no-brainer for any commoner militia not to mess with the PCs there.
That is how it is in your campaign but the DM in this one has not said that this is the way it is in his world.
I would like to adress ome of your points.
Logically This is one of the big problems I see with DnD and that is how impossible it is for a much lower level character to have any impact on a higher level character. So because of this we allow PCs to behave the way they want to because who is going to stop them. Sure you can bring in some more powerful NPC but that usually has the PCs screaming DM Fiat unfair. This NPC is the captain of the guards trusted by his lords to defend the keep and there should be some respect due to him because of his postion but because he is not the same level as the PCs he does not get it.
And I have seen PCs behave this way with a noble born knight who was a lower level. The OP brought up the question of the difference between a lord and a tryant. To me a tryant is someone who pushes around thoses weaker than him. But history and literature are full of the little guy who stood up to tryants and so I don't find it illogical at all for a lower level NPC or PC to stand up to a higher level NPC or PC.
Structually See this where I think it gets muddy from what I am reading they did listen to the priestess and stop firing ,words were exchanged between the priestess and the captain after that.
Socially This is really a campaign specific thing. In my Kalamar game one PC I played was a member of the Black Foot Society whose sole purpose was to over throw the nobles. In my homebrew right now guilds members who may have started as commoner have as much right to expect respect as those noble born. I can see it making sense in your world that a commoner would not do this and I don't think you would have an NPC behave this way because it would not make sense. But it sounds like it is different in this world and that being a lord does not automatically make everyone bow to you. And it seems to me that might me an issue between the OP and his DM a difference of views on how lords should be viewed and treated in the DMs world.
i do have a question how do you handle paladins in your world? Can they only come from the nobility? Because I have a hard time seeing one of these powerful agents of good being treated beneath a noble just because they are not of noble birth.