Losing friends over GAMES...

[Frostmarrow]

I have a similar story. A few years ago when I started at a new job there was this guy handling the computers. He was a gamer just like me and we also shared an interest in discussing things in absurdum.

DnD d20 came along and it just so happend that we ended up in the same gaming group. It was to two gaming groups that cojoined into one. The newly formed group hired an apartment for the sole purpose of playing RPGs in it.

My friend wasn't too keen on DnD but was willing to play. On condition, I guess, that the others and me were willing to play 7th Sea, In Nomine and other RPGs too. He even started a DnD campaign with a bunch of other people outside of our group.

After he had invited the rest of us to different campaigns in alternate games which we turned down (for we wanted to play DnD to the exclusion of all else) he got fed up. He begun derailing DnD at every opportunity and the times we would meet grew more and more scarce.

Now I haven't heard from him in months and the other guys from his old gaming group haven't either. I miss his company but there isn't much one can do. I guess he will eventually come back but not before we drop DnD.

 

[Eben]

I really don't get this. I honestly couldn't be bothered about which game-system we played, as long as I got to play with the people whose company I enjoy. Sure d20 isn't the alpha and omega of rpg-ing. But nothing is. I'm really sorry for you, Hellhound. Especially since you seem open-minded enough towards other systems, it's a shame your friend doesn't share this open-mindedness and tolerance. And in all honesty: you can whine about any system. I'd rather play a game.

 

[Ashy]

Sounds to me like you should talk to him - tell him how you feel and listen to his reasons for feeling the way HE does. Then, tell him if he hates the way D20 works, to write a proposal for you for an entirely new, innovative game. I mean you are a publisher after all....

 

[fusangite]

I find your problem baffling. I was a leftist politician for 10 years -- in the newspaper fighting for pro-choice, environmentalist, left-wing ideas. Some of my best friends were very active in right-wing politics. So, every 2-4 years, we'd be out there fighting tooth and nail against eachother in elections. It never interfered with our friendships.

And it wasn't because we didn't talk about politics. In many cases, that was all we talked about. We just didn't make it personal. You have to ask yourself why it bothers you so much that your friend thinks your current line of work is idiotic. Tens of thousands of people don't; shouldn't that be enough?

D&D is a dumb rule system -- the granularity, excessive codification and arbitrariness are silly. D&D is defensible as a culture, not as a rule system. Why aren't you laughing about all the absurdities that your friend points out? He sounds like he could be a great guy to sit down and bitch to about your work when it annoys you.

On the other hand, maybe there's information I don't have and your friend is really a humourless ass who is jealous that you get paid to work in gaming (which is mighty cool).

 

[ColonelHardisson]

Re: Re: Losing friends over GAMES...

D&D is a dumb rule system -- the granularity, excessive codification and arbitrariness are silly. D&D is defensible as a culture, not as a rule system.

As opposed to all the logical rules systems out there? Come on. When you get right down to it, they're all silly. Asserting that one rules system is somehow less silly than another is just another skirmish in the "geeks calling geeks geeks" battle. Which applies to Hellhound's friend, in this case.

 

[Thorvald Kviksverd]

*****INCOMING MESSAGE FOR THE COLONEL*****

Hey Colonel Hardisson,

Just ran across a thread over in house rules asking you a question...

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*****END MESSAGE*****

 

[ColonelHardisson]

*****INCOMING MESSAGE FOR THE COLONEL*****

Hey Colonel Hardisson,

Just ran across a thread over in house rules asking you a question...

HERE

*****END MESSAGE*****

Hey, thanks!

 

[Arcane Runes Press]

Re: Re: Losing friends over GAMES...

And it wasn't because we didn't talk about politics. In many cases, that was all we talked about. We just didn't make it personal. You have to ask yourself why it bothers you so much that your friend thinks your current line of work is idiotic. Tens of thousands of people don't; shouldn't that be enough?

Uh-huh.

Constantly negative "friends" suck.

People who put forth nothing but negative opinion about what you do are essentially saying that your work is valueless.

When you enjoy what you do for a living, the last thing you need to do is hang around with people who constantly piss in your Cheerios.

Patrick Y.

 

[ColonelHardisson]

Re: Re: Re: Losing friends over GAMES...

Uh-huh.

Constantly negative "friends" suck.

People who put forth nothing but negative opinion about what you do are essentially saying that your work is valueless.

When you enjoy what you do for a living, the last thing you need to do is hang around with people who constantly piss in your Cheerios.

Patrick Y.

Yes, exactly. Friends are like family, except we get to choose our friends. Friends should help and support each other, not nage incessantly. I think it's a good sign that HellHound is concerned about this; it shows he values his friends.

 

[William Ronald]

HellHound, maybe you and your friend could sit down and have a long talk. You need to be clear about how his statements make you feel and your concerns. Similarly, he should explain his feelings which to me seem a bit irrational. (Logical system -- okay find me a logical system that can "realistically" simulate being hit by a fire ball without having charred lungs from superheated air. Or teleportation. Or wishes.)

Generally, I only let myself hate something that is truly offensive. Your friend's feelings may be an expression of something else. (Okay, he may truly HATE DND. However, maybe he has just had some bad gaming experiences.)

I think honesty is an important part of any relationship. While an occassional white lie in the name of peace is acceptable, long standing disputes require an honest response.

I hope you can salvage the friendship. Good friends are hard to find -- and more valuable than gold.