Love and the DnD experience

[iwatt]

The dialogue just didnt feel like it belonged in an RPG, the player seemed a bit too into it, and i felt uncomfortable playing a woman and talking to another woman (the player is a woman playing a man). Thus afterwards I sent a note to the player indicating that the lover is going to disappear for a while and that i probably won't revisit romance especially with cross gender characters.

I share your disconfort. Roleplaying women is hard* enough for me without the added romance twist. Add in the fact that the PC was a woman playing a man, and it would have been pretty difficult to me to actually get into character.


* One of my great failings. I start overthinking, trying to avoid cliches and trying not to be "guy trying to play a girl and getting it all wrong". The end result being that I can't get into character at all. Also, I'm no thespian in the first place.

 

[DestroyYouAlot]

The dialogue just didnt feel like it belonged in an RPG, the player seemed a bit too into it, and i felt uncomfortable playing a woman and talking to another woman (the player is a woman playing a man). Thus afterwards I sent a note to the player indicating that the lover is going to disappear for a while and that i probably won't revisit romance especially with cross gender characters.

On this front, I purposely created a very sarcastic, tomboyish female character for the NPC love interest in my game, one that I felt like a) I could play convincingly, and b) wouldn't likely use dialogue that would make everybody squirm in their seats. (It should also be noted that, while the player character in question fancies himself a ladies' man (he's a bard, go figure), the player in question is probably the player in my group that's the least comfortable with playing out the "physical" aspect of the relationship in-game, so I boiled the initial encounter down to a single roll (Prowess check from the BoUCK), and left all following "encounters" of this nature off-stage.)

 

[DonTadow]

On this front, I purposely created a very sarcastic, tomboyish female character for the NPC love interest in my game, one that I felt like a) I could play convincingly, and b) wouldn't likely use dialogue that would make everybody squirm in their seats. (It should also be noted that, while the player character in question fancies himself a ladies' man (he's a bard, go figure), the player in question is probably the player in my group that's the least comfortable with playing out the "physical" aspect of the relationship in-game, so I boiled the initial encounter down to a single roll (Prowess check from the BoUCK), and left all following "encounters" of this nature off-stage.)

I thin kthat was hte problem and actually was related to another thread I posted a while back. This was an NPC the player created (without my knowledge) and through at me. She had already introduced it in game so I didnt want to retro something that could be worked out. All of a sudden I find myself stuck playing this NPC I Didnt create and whom seemed a bit out of place in the world.

 

[Aus_Snow]

If the whole group is mature, well adjusted, OK with the idea, and in fact interested in doing this kind of thing (er, in character) - then yes, there is of course nothing wrong with it, and it can work. I've been in groups where it has worked, and worked well, as central focus, or alternatively as a minor yet occasionally prominent element and plot device.

However, I (along with many others) have seen the other side of it too. When it's bad, it can be really bad - all the way from excruciatingly uncomfortable to extremely embarassing. . . to creepiest gamer thread material.

Generally, I'm pretty easygoing as GM, in this area. But I always 'let the curtain fall' early in the piece: sordid details are *not* required.


And yeah, the cross-gender thing can make it even harder to deal with effectively, for sure.

 

[ScardPtori]

Just as a reference, there is a RPG book for this sort of thing. The Book of Erotic Fantasy by Gwendolyn F. M. Kestrel and Duncan Scott. I remember coming across this in the book store and being amazed someone actually published such an item. One of the things I remember it had was the length of pregnancy of an ogre. I dread the day my character has to worry about how long an ogre is going to be pregnant . . .

 

[Gold Roger]

Here's how I see it for games I play in:

PC to PC:

1) If it's between PC's of other players, it's up to the players. As long as they are mature about it, keep player and PC distinquished and don't disrupt the game.

2) If one of the PC's is mine, I'd prefer to either: not do it at all or, if the PC's just fit and I trust the other player I'd keep it on the low and mostly in the background.

NPC to PC:

1) Somebody else is the DM and it's not my PC: I'd treat it just like PC to PC between other players.

2) It's my PC: I'd keep it on the low. Little things played out. Mostly one sentence in between like: My character pays love interest xy a visit. My character has love interest xy along for the great festival. Generaly I love it when the DM uses character specific stuff for plots, so I'd be delighted if my chars love interest was used as plot hook. But I'm not gaming to improvise romantical theater.

3) If I'm the DM: I'd expect my players to handle it like I do. Not every love interest would be killed and turned into a Vampire, actually be a succubus or be kidnapped, but I'd expect my player to accept that for me love intersts are story elements and possible plot hooks just like any other NPC.


To your expirience I can only say "ouch". I guess you should have talked it out with the player in question earlier, but the main problem lies with her: expecting the DM to read ones mind, setting high expectations and not communicating them to the DM, not trusting the DM, trying to dictate the games course on the DM, hogging spotlight, derailing the tone of the game and then more or less bitching around that things aren't how one wants them to be is not what I call being a good player.

 

[ruleslawyer]

Look, if you want a PC with +6 Strength, +2 Con, and reach for ECL +1, you have to be prepared to make some sacrifices.

 

[Goldmoon]

Ive played both male and female characters that were romanticly interested in both PC's and NPC's. PC to PC is rare since it seems every damn male has their male PC hit on my female PC's. (I get so tired of that) When it does happen though, it works out O.K. most of the time. My rogue got involved with the party cleric once and he began neglecting the other characters with healing and buffs concentrating mainly on me.

On a somewhat similiar subject: Do you guys tend to roleplay more with/have characters who hit on females who are more attractive in real life?

 

[gamecat]

It seems they wanted a harlequin D20 System Adventure.

 

[pawsplay]

A few days ago this would have been a rant, but I"ve managed to move on from the experience and walked away now forbidding any type of love in my games.

Even brotherly love?

Should it be apart of the game? Does WOTC need to publish a supplement for fantasy relationships? (written by DR Phil? )

Dr. Phil is very irresponsible. His advice is terrible and his attitudes deplorable.