Making PC's Feel Good.

[Matita]

So recently I was playing D&D with my lovely group of friends, we had come back from a trip we decided to spend the night at my house because why not and a few hours later we went out to eat and one of them said "why haven't we been playing D&D this whole time? It's 12 AM, I say sure and grab my mat.

So during this one of my friends told me he hasn't had "fun" since our very first campaign. Our very very very first campaign, when our DM didn't make Spell Attack Rolls because he didn't know how so Firebolt always hit, where I had a Paladin with CHA being his lowest stat, and where We didn't apply bonuses to our weapon attacks (Attack Bonus, STR or DEX bonus) The DM hadn't bought any of the books yet and refused to use PDF's so we were totally in the dark, we've since obtained those books and know better/are learning.

Anyway. He thinks everything we do is so one sided from combat encounters to social interactions, this was obviously awkward to bring up in the middle of a session randomly but we pushed on while y'know asking how he felt. So I've since tried to make the game more appealing to him offering more stealth options since he's a rogue, dangling a few easily pick pocketed coin purses. I think he's having more fun I'm not sure how to bring it up, but I wanted to know has a PC ever come to you and told you he wasn't enjoying himself/herself? Obviously someone out there has but what did you do about it?


What was the exact scenario and solution? I also want to kind of say though in situations it's his own fault for not being creative or taking initiative in a situation, where there's a lock pickable door, maybe a cast of Acid Splash or an Alchemist Fire can take it out or maybe he could scale the building to get in, or throw a dead body through it I dunno, when I play I try to think of interesting solutions to problems, (like druidcrafting Peyote in a monsters face.) But you never wanna tell someone you like (Especially a friend this close.) the equivalent of "Get Better" when they express an actual feeling. Any help or advice would be lovely .

TL;DR Has a PC ever come to you saying they haven't been enjoying playing D&D/Pathfinder/Dark Heresy etc... as much as they used to? What was there problem and how was it fixed? Would you say in anyway it was their fault?

 

[Ralif Redhammer]

No one's outright told me that they weren't enjoying a campaign as much...but there were times when I tried things and they weren't as well received, and attendance took a visible dip.

What I did was send a survey to my gaming group that asked questions about what they enjoyed, what they didn't. I got some good feedback, and made a real effort to incorporate it into my games.

As a DM, I try to know what each player enjoys - this one likes role-playing, that one likes crazy things happening, that one likes to feel like they're having an impact on the campaign world. It's really tough to balance sometimes, I'll admit.

In-game, I look for the moments when people lean forward, when their eyes open up, when they are engaged, and after the fact look at what created that situation.

Yes, players can certainly be at fault as well. But I think it's more productive to try to change and improve yourself, then to try to get someone else to do the same.

 

[Tony Vargas]

Wait:

Did you & your group start with 5e?
Like, all of you, having never played D&D before?
And only one of you doesn't like it?

Awesome!

You've actually had tremendous success as a new DM, and you should be proud.
And, yes, getting a feel for what players want/need from the game and finding ways to make the experience work for everyone is one of the great challenges of DMing. It's the kind of thing you can always get better at, and can never take for granted.

But I can't give you any formula for doing it. When a player does offer feedback, of course, listen, but don't feel like you have to try too hard to keep a given player interested - for some, gaming just can't hold their interest. Listen to positive feedback, as well. If people talk about your game away from the table, that's an excellent sign that you're doing something right.

 

[Matita]

Wait:

Did you & your group start with 5e?
Like, all of you, having never played D&D before?
And only one of you doesn't like it?

Awesome!

You've actually had tremendous success as a new DM, and you should be proud.
And, yes, getting a feel for what players want/need from the game and finding ways to make the experience work for everyone is one of the great challenges of DMing. It's the kind of thing you can always get better at, and can never take for granted.

But I can't give you any formula for doing it. When a player does offer feedback, of course, listen, but don't feel like you have to try too hard to keep a given player interested - for some, gaming just can't hold their interest. Listen to positive feedback, as well. If people talk about your game away from the table, that's an excellent sign that you're doing something right.

Thank you! I do feel a little accomplished as a DM even though I'm still learning it's good to see I have some engaged players so
I'm doing something right haha.

I understand, I'll start asking my players for specific things they've liked encounters, NPC's etc.
Thank you again for taking the time to reply

 

[steenan]

Having a player tell you openly that they don't enjoy the game is a good thing. It allows you to ask them for more detailed feedback and tailor the game more to their needs. That's the way to improving your GMing.

A few things to remember:
- It's better to ask than to assume you know what they want.
- Ask about the situations in game that were fun and not fun for them and how the player felt about them; do not start by asking for suggested solutions
- Do not argue against the feedback, even if you don't like it. Proving your player wrong won't improve how they feel about the game.

Oh, and a minor nitpick.
"PC" stands for "Player Character". If one came to me to complain, I'd know I played "Wisher, Theurge, Fatalist".
You probably meant a player.

 

[Matita]

Having a player tell you openly that they don't enjoy the game is a good thing. It allows you to ask them for more detailed feedback and tailor the game more to their needs. That's the way to improving your GMing.

A few things to remember:
- It's better to ask than to assume you know what they want.
- Ask about the situations in game that were fun and not fun for them and how the player felt about them; do not start by asking for suggested solutions
- Do not argue against the feedback, even if you don't like it. Proving your player wrong won't improve how they feel about the game.

Oh, and a minor nitpick.
"PC" stands for "Player Character". If one came to me to complain, I'd know I played "Wisher, Theurge, Fatalist".
You probably meant a player.

I talked to him he decided after more thought he hadn't been playing to his full potential, since our conversation he's been
talking to more NPC's asking more questions, and some very impressive uses of prestidigitation.

His problem was not feeling equal to other players, he does now though .

I now also survey my group for what they liked/disliked after sessions.

 

[Grogg of the North]

TL;DR Has a PC ever come to you saying they haven't been enjoying playing D&D/Pathfinder/Dark Heresy etc... as much as they used to? What was there problem and how was it fixed? Would you say in anyway it was their fault?

I've been on both sides of this issue as a DM and a player. It's something that I've lamented over here on the boards, too. Part of it may be that when you're new to the system you're open to different character concepts and ideas and not influenced so much by the math.

As a DM, I don't want to get bogged down in the minutia of the rules. Does anyone know how X works? No? Well, I'll just make a ruling on the spot and come back to it after the session. I loathe digging around in all my books to find out that the answer I'm looking for is in the errata to the appendix of a splat book. Look, we just lost 30 minutes of game time because someone had to know the "official" answer. So after my last campaign where I had to deal with munchkin players and not so savvy rule lawyers, I burned out and rather quickly, too. It was in that campaign that I found myself going from saying "Yes, but...." to outright saying "no". DMing went from something that I enjoyed doing to becoming a chore to becoming something I began to dread. Taking a break from DMing allowed me to recharge my batteries and get me excited about DMing again.

It was also in that game that I had a player quit because they weren't having fun. It was the munchkin player, too. It was one of those situations that player had optimized above and beyond the rest of the group. Whenever I tried to place them in a situation where they had to be creative or roleplay, and not to rolling initiative, he would sulk and ultimately he quit over that.

As a player I was in a game where we were a DMPC away from a cliche. It felt like any solution we proposed that wasn't the solution the DM envision was instantly shot down. And playing a barbarian (Me Smash!) made it even worse because the solution was never "Me smash". I eventually left the game after my barbarian died. I politely sent an email stating I was not having fun and hadn't been having fun for a while. I offered the rest of the group copies of my character sheets in case they wanted to keep going and wanted to my old PC to become an NPC. It turns out that the rest of the group wasn't having fun either and the campaign died with a whimper shortly thereafter.

As a DM, something I try to do every once in a while is send out an email to the group and ask "Wht did you like?" "What did you not like?" "What would you do differently?"

I don't think anyone is ever really to blame. D&D is a game. The point of a game is to have fun. If you're not having fun then something is wrong. And, in hindsight, I think it's better to leave a game early than let it drag on due to a sense of obligation. This is something that I wished I had learned earlier.

I hope this helps answer your question.

 

[Chris@Korvidae]

So recently I was playing D&D with my lovely group of friends, we had come back from a trip we decided to spend the night at my house because why not and a few hours later we went out to eat and one of them said "why haven't we been playing D&D this whole time? It's 12 AM, I say sure and grab my mat.

So during this one of my friends told me he hasn't had "fun" since our very first campaign. Our very very very first campaign, when our DM didn't make Spell Attack Rolls because he didn't know how so Firebolt always hit, where I had a Paladin with CHA being his lowest stat, and where We didn't apply bonuses to our weapon attacks (Attack Bonus, STR or DEX bonus) The DM hadn't bought any of the books yet and refused to use PDF's so we were totally in the dark, we've since obtained those books and know better/are learning.

Anyway. He thinks everything we do is so one sided from combat encounters to social interactions, this was obviously awkward to bring up in the middle of a session randomly but we pushed on while y'know asking how he felt. So I've since tried to make the game more appealing to him offering more stealth options since he's a rogue, dangling a few easily pick pocketed coin purses. I think he's having more fun I'm not sure how to bring it up, but I wanted to know has a PC ever come to you and told you he wasn't enjoying himself/herself? Obviously someone out there has but what did you do about it?


What was the exact scenario and solution? I also want to kind of say though in situations it's his own fault for not being creative or taking initiative in a situation, where there's a lock pickable door, maybe a cast of Acid Splash or an Alchemist Fire can take it out or maybe he could scale the building to get in, or throw a dead body through it I dunno, when I play I try to think of interesting solutions to problems, (like druidcrafting Peyote in a monsters face.) But you never wanna tell someone you like (Especially a friend this close.) the equivalent of "Get Better" when they express an actual feeling. Any help or advice would be lovely .

TL;DR Has a PC ever come to you saying they haven't been enjoying playing D&D/Pathfinder/Dark Heresy etc... as much as they used to? What was there problem and how was it fixed? Would you say in anyway it was their fault?

My table has two great ways of making everyone feel included - first, the party usually gets some sort of clubhouse early on in a campaign; a house, a ship, a fortress, is something that everyone can enjoy improving (in fact, a number of our adventures would end up sidetracked as we put aside the main quest in order to find a master carpenter or builder to expand our home).

The second great way is to include your players in the world-building. This is a bunch harder if you're using a pre-generated setting, but if you're not, do things like asking players where they hail from, and then drawing it on a map. The other day, one person in our group was asking about the ecology of a particular giant tribe, and we ended up adlibing a whole history. They're no longer 'that tribe of giants,' but instead the 'northern giant tribe of the mountain, separate and distinct from the forest giants (who they are at war with), and the plains giants (who they compete with for hunting grounds)'.

As a character, I didn't contribute very much to the battle we had with the giants, but the adventure stands out to me because we turned a simple encounter into something more.