HeavenShallBurn
First Post
Twisting the MetaSetting backstory of the PHB races beyond reason for entertainment, feel free to join in the fun! 
Humans-what humans? They're all dead and no one cares why, maybe they just killed each other off, or p***ed off a pantheon just a little too far. Or maybe they came to their senses and all mutated into something more fitting for a wildly dangerous fantasy setting, like orc or hobgoblins.
Dwarves-Still see some traders every now and then. Following a long decline in numbers attributed to the extreme gender distribution problem well-known to other races they became increasingly insular, maybe it was all those jokes. Anyway they were last seen in numbers stuffing the contents of their clanhomes into giant drill-tipped earthships. Sages believe they may have collectively emigrated to the elemental plane of earth in a bid to have done with a feud involving the goblinoids and giants they no longer had the manpower to continue.
Elves-The other white meat. They weren't really prepared for the other races to learn their dark secret, they taste great! After a brief but troublesome period of transition they've been suitably domesticated and are raised by all the civilized races such as trolls, minotaurs, orcs, and kobolds. The flesh of their young is particularly tender and considered a delicacy.
Half-Elves-Without humans these have become very rare, only the occasional aging member of this race is spotted. However due to the human blood in their heritage they are distasteful and left alone as not worth the trouble of stamping out thoroughly.
Gnomes-Subdued after a long and bitter campaign without the support of their traditional allies they are now slaves and underclass craftsmen toiling away in factories and living in segregated ghettos so that their civilized overlords only have to deal with them as convenient.
Half-Orcs-Almost none of these left in the kingdoms of the orcs after so much time but generally well-respected as clever and wily by the younger generations of orcs. Besides most of the ones who've survived this long are high level and you bet aging or not the wupass potential there does not go unrecognized by the usually unruly orcs.
Halflings-What the halflings are headed this way, bar the gates and get the burning pitch ready? Cursed with an insatiable hunger after their racial goddess finally got fed up with them for forgetting their agricultural roots to wanderlust they now roam the wilderness in hordes. Like grubby, stinking locusts they devour everything in their path even their own wounded. Endless howling masses driven to madness by their hunger and a compulsion that refuses to allow them to remain in one place for too long they wander constantly. They keep no mounts or domestic animals, they'd just eat them anyway. All civilized races warn each other when halflings are cited as it may be forerunners heralding a new plague of the vermin, setting counterfires in their line of advance seems to be an effective if destructive means of defense.
for 4e
Humans-same
Dwarves-same but left for elemental tempest
Elves & Half-Elves-same
Gnomes-all died in an unexplained and spectacular techno-magical accident that was visible across most of the campaign world as a giant glowing cloud shaped like a mushroom that spontaneously generated pegasi, griffons, pixies, and ooze kittens by the tens of thousands scattering them across a radius of at least a thousand leagues.
Eladrin-Have all come down with hereditary chronic depression and no longer leave their territories. In many of their villages hapless Eladrin can be seen lying in the street, so hopeless they can no longer bring themselves to move or eat. A growing number become so bored they loose the will even to breath, but they rapidly suffocate so no one pays much attention to them as at least they've stopped whining.
Tieflings-Without the humans and elves to mistreat them this race is undergoing a surprising rennaissance eagerly followed by the other civilized races as they build an intrigueing society where heirarchy is determined by the size of ones horns and overall sexiness. Tieflings of rank are easily distinguished as the higher one's rank the less they wear.
Any known 4e races I missed?
Humans-what humans? They're all dead and no one cares why, maybe they just killed each other off, or p***ed off a pantheon just a little too far. Or maybe they came to their senses and all mutated into something more fitting for a wildly dangerous fantasy setting, like orc or hobgoblins.
Dwarves-Still see some traders every now and then. Following a long decline in numbers attributed to the extreme gender distribution problem well-known to other races they became increasingly insular, maybe it was all those jokes. Anyway they were last seen in numbers stuffing the contents of their clanhomes into giant drill-tipped earthships. Sages believe they may have collectively emigrated to the elemental plane of earth in a bid to have done with a feud involving the goblinoids and giants they no longer had the manpower to continue.
Elves-The other white meat. They weren't really prepared for the other races to learn their dark secret, they taste great! After a brief but troublesome period of transition they've been suitably domesticated and are raised by all the civilized races such as trolls, minotaurs, orcs, and kobolds. The flesh of their young is particularly tender and considered a delicacy.
Half-Elves-Without humans these have become very rare, only the occasional aging member of this race is spotted. However due to the human blood in their heritage they are distasteful and left alone as not worth the trouble of stamping out thoroughly.
Gnomes-Subdued after a long and bitter campaign without the support of their traditional allies they are now slaves and underclass craftsmen toiling away in factories and living in segregated ghettos so that their civilized overlords only have to deal with them as convenient.
Half-Orcs-Almost none of these left in the kingdoms of the orcs after so much time but generally well-respected as clever and wily by the younger generations of orcs. Besides most of the ones who've survived this long are high level and you bet aging or not the wupass potential there does not go unrecognized by the usually unruly orcs.
Halflings-What the halflings are headed this way, bar the gates and get the burning pitch ready? Cursed with an insatiable hunger after their racial goddess finally got fed up with them for forgetting their agricultural roots to wanderlust they now roam the wilderness in hordes. Like grubby, stinking locusts they devour everything in their path even their own wounded. Endless howling masses driven to madness by their hunger and a compulsion that refuses to allow them to remain in one place for too long they wander constantly. They keep no mounts or domestic animals, they'd just eat them anyway. All civilized races warn each other when halflings are cited as it may be forerunners heralding a new plague of the vermin, setting counterfires in their line of advance seems to be an effective if destructive means of defense.
for 4e
Humans-same
Dwarves-same but left for elemental tempest
Elves & Half-Elves-same
Gnomes-all died in an unexplained and spectacular techno-magical accident that was visible across most of the campaign world as a giant glowing cloud shaped like a mushroom that spontaneously generated pegasi, griffons, pixies, and ooze kittens by the tens of thousands scattering them across a radius of at least a thousand leagues.
Eladrin-Have all come down with hereditary chronic depression and no longer leave their territories. In many of their villages hapless Eladrin can be seen lying in the street, so hopeless they can no longer bring themselves to move or eat. A growing number become so bored they loose the will even to breath, but they rapidly suffocate so no one pays much attention to them as at least they've stopped whining.
Tieflings-Without the humans and elves to mistreat them this race is undergoing a surprising rennaissance eagerly followed by the other civilized races as they build an intrigueing society where heirarchy is determined by the size of ones horns and overall sexiness. Tieflings of rank are easily distinguished as the higher one's rank the less they wear.
Any known 4e races I missed?
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