Men, women, insecurity & alcohol [** NEW UPDATE, DEC 2005 **]

[fusangite]

I know that code, but don't get many chances to practice the craft. (I don't mean just relationships.)

Anyone who knows my situation, as I've stated in the past on other threads, understands what I mean.

I've probably read these posts but remembered that it was you who made them. Sorry if I'm saying things that would be inappropriate or irrelevant if I recalled the posts.[QUITE]I guess you can say, right now, I'm a bit of an outsider watching others play, as I have more important issues to deal with.[/QUOTE]I hear you there. There have been various times in my life I have back-burnered the dating thing in favour of making other changes/improvements to myself that have enabled me to do a better job at this stuff in the long term.

Frustration in all aspects of my life have led me to become very jaded and overtly protective of my feelings.

The great thing is that, no matter how unique your suffering feels and how individual its details are, almost everyone believes this about themselves. While this stuff is clearly more objectively true for some people than for others, this perception of oneself is a nigh-universal human trait.

Am I miserable? Yes, but not because of a lack of sexual/romantic success. (And not every day.) Do I consider myself morally virtuous? God No!

Thanks for clearing that up.

Sigh. I understand. Like I said, life is tough right now for a lot of reasons, and that frustration found its way into my post. I won't ever believe in the Vile Code ^TM, but I understand and accept the Code of Life ^TM as being part of society. However, that doesn't mean I have to like "certain aspects" of even that code.

You seem to be unecessarily creating a two codes system for categorizing social communication. You might want to revisit this.

As I suspected. Plus, I must point out I rarely go anywhere near night clubs anymore.

As I said in a previous post, nightclubs are a CR8 dating encounter. Internet personals are CR1.

I'm happier spending time with friends at the movies, in pool halls, and at sports bars (hockey, hockey!).

My understanding is that not all of these are utterly devoid of dating opportunities either.

I let my troubles and personal flaws influence what I wrote.

Don't we all! I often blow off steam about this stuff inappropriately too. In fact, it's worked its way up into my Top Five Bad Habits at this point. The key thing, though, is to blow off steam while staying grounded in reality.

Basically, I'm a mess. However, unlike 10 years ago, I now understand why I'm a mess and am trying to find a way too work through the worst of it. Meds, therapy, family & friends, exercise, and, yes, even EN World.

That's good to hear; many of us have been down the same road. It is okay to take a break from trying to date when working on some of this stuff, just as long as you commit to yourself a future date to get back into the game.

I'm not alone as long as I have my family and friends.

Glad you're solid on the important things.

However, I'm not okay being without some sort of loving relationship, but I know it won't solve the sadness.

This is a good point. There are lots of things one can do to become happier without making any progress on the dating front. As long as you keep doing incremental work on those other things, your life will improve.

 

[Knightfall]

I've probably read these posts but remembered that it was you who made them. Sorry if I'm saying things that would be inappropriate or irrelevant if I recalled the posts.

Some of it is. The big thing was the death of my brother in August. That has torn me down a lot over the last few months. Like I siad, Christmas is going to be really hard this year, as will his birthday next year.

As I said in a previous post, nightclubs are a CR8 dating encounter. Internet personals are CR1.

ROFL! Good one.

My understanding is that not all of these are utterly devoid of dating opportunities either.

Very true, and the people you meet tend to be more grounded, IMHO.

Cheers!

KF72

 

[Rel]

Some of it is. The big thing was the death of my brother in August. That has torn me down a lot over the last few months. Like I siad, Christmas is going to be really hard this year, as will his birthday next year.

I don't have too much else to add to this thread but I wanted to say that you've my condolences about this. One of my best friends since I was a kid died two years ago in August and I still think about him every single day. Going through that without the support of my wife is something that I don't care to contemplate.

I wish you strength and peace, love and luck.

 

[DaveStebbins]

To quote my favourite TV show (censored for ENWorld), "Sometimes she goes. Sometimes she doesn't go. That's the way she goes, boys. The f***ing way she goes."

Wow, I could swear I've read that one somewhere else before.

-Dave