Lidgar
Gongfarmer
VILLAGER #1: We have found an Unfavorable Edition, might we burn her?
CROWD: Burn her! Burn!
BEDEMIR: How do you know she is an Unfavorable Edition?
VILLAGER #2: She looks like one.
BEDEMIR: Bring her forward.
UNFAVORABLE EDITION: I'm not an Unfavorable Edition. I'm not an Unfavorable Edition.
BEDEMIR: But you are dressed as one.
UNFAVORABLE EDITION: They dressed me up like this.
CROWD: No, we didn't... no.
UNFAVORABLE EDITION: And this isn't my d20, it's a false one.
BEDEMIR: Well?
VILLAGER #1: Well, we did do the d20.
BEDEMIR: The d20?
VILLAGER #1: And the skill system -- but she is an Unfavorable Edition!
CROWD: Burn her! Unfavorable Edition! Unfavorable Edition! Burn her!
BEDEMIR: Did you dress her up like this?
CROWD: No, no... no ... yes. Yes, yes, a bit, a bit.
VILLAGER #1: She has got a daily power.
BEDEMIR: What makes you think she is an Unfavorable Edition?
VILLAGER #3: Well, she turned me into a power gamer.
BEDEMIR: A power gamer?
VILLAGER #3: I got better.
VILLAGER #2: Burn her anyway!
CROWD: Burn! Burn her!
BEDEMIR: Quiet, quiet. Quiet! There are ways of telling whether
she is a Unfavorable Edition.
CROWD: Are there? What are they?
BEDEMIR: Tell me, what do you do with Unfavorable Editions?
VILLAGER #2: Burn!
CROWD: Burn, burn them up!
BEDEMIR: And what do you burn apart from Unfavorable Editions?
VILLAGER #1: More Unfavorable Editions!
VILLAGER #2: Paper!
BEDEMIR: So, why do Unfavorable Editions burn?
[pause]
VILLAGER #3: B--... 'cause they're made of paper...?
BEDEMIR: Good!
CROWD: Oh yeah, yeah...
BEDEMIR: So, how do we tell whether she is made of paper?
VILLAGER #1: Build a character out of her.
BEDEMIR: Aah, but can you not also build characters out of dice?
VILLAGER #2: Oh, yeah.
BEDEMIR: Does paper sink in water?
VILLAGER #1: No, no.
VILLAGER #2: It floats! It floats!
VILLAGER #1: Throw her into the pond!
CROWD: The pond!
BEDEMIR: What also floats in water?
VILLAGER #1: Bread!
VILLAGER #2: Apples!
VILLAGER #3: Very small rocks!
VILLAGER #1: Wolves hiding in apple piles!
VILLAGER #2: Sombreros!
VILLAGER #1: Singing guards!
VILLAGER #2: Percentile dice!
VILLAGER #3: Acrobats!
VILLAGER #2: Dryads!
ARTHUR: A torphie.
CROWD: Oooh.
BEDEMIR: Exactly! So, logically...,
VILLAGER #1: If... she.. weighs the same as a torphie, she's made of paper.
BEDEMIR: And therefore--?
VILLAGER #1: An Unfavorable Edition!
CROWD: An Unfavorable Edition!
BEDEMIR: We shall use my larger scales!
[yelling]
BEDEMIR: Right, remove the supports!
[whop]
[creak]
CROWD: An Unfavorable Edition! An Unfavorable Edition!
CROWD: Burn her! Burn! [yelling]
CROWD: Burn her! Burn!
BEDEMIR: How do you know she is an Unfavorable Edition?
VILLAGER #2: She looks like one.
BEDEMIR: Bring her forward.
UNFAVORABLE EDITION: I'm not an Unfavorable Edition. I'm not an Unfavorable Edition.
BEDEMIR: But you are dressed as one.
UNFAVORABLE EDITION: They dressed me up like this.
CROWD: No, we didn't... no.
UNFAVORABLE EDITION: And this isn't my d20, it's a false one.
BEDEMIR: Well?
VILLAGER #1: Well, we did do the d20.
BEDEMIR: The d20?
VILLAGER #1: And the skill system -- but she is an Unfavorable Edition!
CROWD: Burn her! Unfavorable Edition! Unfavorable Edition! Burn her!
BEDEMIR: Did you dress her up like this?
CROWD: No, no... no ... yes. Yes, yes, a bit, a bit.
VILLAGER #1: She has got a daily power.
BEDEMIR: What makes you think she is an Unfavorable Edition?
VILLAGER #3: Well, she turned me into a power gamer.
BEDEMIR: A power gamer?
VILLAGER #3: I got better.
VILLAGER #2: Burn her anyway!
CROWD: Burn! Burn her!
BEDEMIR: Quiet, quiet. Quiet! There are ways of telling whether
she is a Unfavorable Edition.
CROWD: Are there? What are they?
BEDEMIR: Tell me, what do you do with Unfavorable Editions?
VILLAGER #2: Burn!
CROWD: Burn, burn them up!
BEDEMIR: And what do you burn apart from Unfavorable Editions?
VILLAGER #1: More Unfavorable Editions!
VILLAGER #2: Paper!
BEDEMIR: So, why do Unfavorable Editions burn?
[pause]
VILLAGER #3: B--... 'cause they're made of paper...?
BEDEMIR: Good!
CROWD: Oh yeah, yeah...
BEDEMIR: So, how do we tell whether she is made of paper?
VILLAGER #1: Build a character out of her.
BEDEMIR: Aah, but can you not also build characters out of dice?
VILLAGER #2: Oh, yeah.
BEDEMIR: Does paper sink in water?
VILLAGER #1: No, no.
VILLAGER #2: It floats! It floats!
VILLAGER #1: Throw her into the pond!
CROWD: The pond!
BEDEMIR: What also floats in water?
VILLAGER #1: Bread!
VILLAGER #2: Apples!
VILLAGER #3: Very small rocks!
VILLAGER #1: Wolves hiding in apple piles!
VILLAGER #2: Sombreros!
VILLAGER #1: Singing guards!
VILLAGER #2: Percentile dice!
VILLAGER #3: Acrobats!
VILLAGER #2: Dryads!
ARTHUR: A torphie.
CROWD: Oooh.
BEDEMIR: Exactly! So, logically...,
VILLAGER #1: If... she.. weighs the same as a torphie, she's made of paper.
BEDEMIR: And therefore--?
VILLAGER #1: An Unfavorable Edition!
CROWD: An Unfavorable Edition!
BEDEMIR: We shall use my larger scales!
[yelling]
BEDEMIR: Right, remove the supports!
[whop]
[creak]
CROWD: An Unfavorable Edition! An Unfavorable Edition!
CROWD: Burn her! Burn! [yelling]
