jasper
Rotten DM
We take you now to Action 8 News reporter Erwin Elf, who is cover a crowd of monsters who are approaching the dm screen.
Erwin Elf, “I see masses of monsters, npcs, and dungeon dressing approaching me. As if someone dump their mini collection on the table top.”
Various monster approach the screen holding signs saying
METME. A banishment for me, is a banishment for thee. METME. Critical count double. METME.
Down with unfair dms. DMs 4 dummies. Pity the little monsters. Dice rule, Dms drool!
Erwin Elf, “I am talking with a Kobold with no legs beneath the knees, what is your story?”
Kobold, “During the Sunless Citadel, I set a trap and an adventurer tripped it. BUT THE EVIL DM DID NOT APPLY IT. He let the guy go by. Then adventurer reset the trap and tossed me. It took my legs. He goes by Kobold Boots now!. HEY HO JUST SAY NO TO UNFAIR DMS”.
Erwin Elf, “ And your story Mr. Orc?”.
Orville Orc, “ Decades ago I smack a puny little first level wizard with a crit using great axe. 28 points of damage. 28 points of freaking damage. Instant death by double damage. BUT NO! The Evil Dm doesn’t want the die to rule. He reduces to 3 points. 3 fraking points. Now the wizard has a 6 picture deal about him, his pet hobbit, and gaggle of dwarves. EVIL DMS MUST GO.” Orville Orc waves his METME sign around. “ PS He is call grey because the cheeky bugger never washed his underwear. “
Erwin Elf, “ And you minotaur!”
Mycroft Minotaur, “ MR. DM. TEAR DOWN THIS SCREEN! We here at METME That is Monsters for the Ethical Treatment of Monsters Everywhere, want dms to give us a fair shake. We are tried of what!”
Crowd, “dm ignoring our rolls”
Mycroft, “ When do we want it?”
Crowd, “Now. MET ME! MET ME. “
Erwin Elf, “ we be right back after this hard break!”.
Ok. A guy on facebook said a dm should never sideline a player character. I disagree and need to get it out my system. So what is you dm style.
Captain Kirk/ A team. Pcs are stars of the show and never die. No matter how stupid they get.
Action Movie heroes. PC will get hurt and only die when player wants them too.
Let the Dice hit the floor. AKA monsters need love too. Most encounters are fair and unfair ones are foreshadow but the dice rule.
Killer Dm. I will make you cry and leave this game. Etc.
Ps. I welcome to suggestions about the names of the styles.
Erwin Elf, “I see masses of monsters, npcs, and dungeon dressing approaching me. As if someone dump their mini collection on the table top.”
Various monster approach the screen holding signs saying
METME. A banishment for me, is a banishment for thee. METME. Critical count double. METME.
Down with unfair dms. DMs 4 dummies. Pity the little monsters. Dice rule, Dms drool!
Erwin Elf, “I am talking with a Kobold with no legs beneath the knees, what is your story?”
Kobold, “During the Sunless Citadel, I set a trap and an adventurer tripped it. BUT THE EVIL DM DID NOT APPLY IT. He let the guy go by. Then adventurer reset the trap and tossed me. It took my legs. He goes by Kobold Boots now!. HEY HO JUST SAY NO TO UNFAIR DMS”.
Erwin Elf, “ And your story Mr. Orc?”.
Orville Orc, “ Decades ago I smack a puny little first level wizard with a crit using great axe. 28 points of damage. 28 points of freaking damage. Instant death by double damage. BUT NO! The Evil Dm doesn’t want the die to rule. He reduces to 3 points. 3 fraking points. Now the wizard has a 6 picture deal about him, his pet hobbit, and gaggle of dwarves. EVIL DMS MUST GO.” Orville Orc waves his METME sign around. “ PS He is call grey because the cheeky bugger never washed his underwear. “
Erwin Elf, “ And you minotaur!”
Mycroft Minotaur, “ MR. DM. TEAR DOWN THIS SCREEN! We here at METME That is Monsters for the Ethical Treatment of Monsters Everywhere, want dms to give us a fair shake. We are tried of what!”
Crowd, “dm ignoring our rolls”
Mycroft, “ When do we want it?”
Crowd, “Now. MET ME! MET ME. “
Erwin Elf, “ we be right back after this hard break!”.
Ok. A guy on facebook said a dm should never sideline a player character. I disagree and need to get it out my system. So what is you dm style.
Captain Kirk/ A team. Pcs are stars of the show and never die. No matter how stupid they get.
Action Movie heroes. PC will get hurt and only die when player wants them too.
Let the Dice hit the floor. AKA monsters need love too. Most encounters are fair and unfair ones are foreshadow but the dice rule.
Killer Dm. I will make you cry and leave this game. Etc.
Ps. I welcome to suggestions about the names of the styles.