To help condense it a bit...
I want to retrain my feats because I made a bad decision, but I can't
Problem
The PHB2 lets me retrain my feats
Solution
3.5 doesn't let you retrain feats.
Misconception
Or, to use the example the OP used,
"I want to play a Lunar Exalt, but I can't.
Problem
This book let's me play a Lunar Exalt
Solution
Exalted doesn't allow for Lunar Exalts to be played
Misconception
Thanks, this is exactly what I am talking about.
Again, this doesn't answer my question. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? Who is denying the existence of these solutions? When someone says, "You cannot retrain in 3e" you simply answer, "Yes, you can, ref. PHB 2".
Now, whether or not that's a good answer will depend on lots of factors. But, no one can deny that the issue has not been addressed. But, I rarely, if ever, see anyone denying the existence of these solutions. Far more often I see people (it even happened in this thread) denying the existence of the problem in the first place.
But, you cannot deny the existence of the solution. For that, Imaro, you are 100% correct. I just think you've created a position to argue against that no one would reasonably take.
Take an issue that I have with 3e - rogues being sidelined during combat by various creature types that are immune to sneak attack. ((Let's ignore the side argument that this isn't really an issue, but is in fact, all my own fault)) This is a problem IMO in 3e. Now, there are solutions in official rule books to this problem. There are a number of spells scattered around various books that will allow the rogue to sneak attack. I believe there are a few feats that will as well. IIRC there is a variant class feature in PHB 2 that allows rogues to have some effect against unsneakable creatures.
That doesn't change the fact that in 4e, this problem doesn't exist in the first place. In 4e, you can sneak anything. So, is it not fair to say that 4e solves a problem of 3e? The existence of 3e solutions to a problem does not change anything. Yes, there may be other solutions to the problem. But, for some people, they have the perception that 4e solves these problems better.
I'm still somewhat surprised that anyone would honestly argue that these solutions do not exist in 3e though given the huge number of books for 3e.
The "Why do you still play 4e?" thread was full of claims that 4e did x, y or z, and that's why the poster likes it. There was a brief discussion in that thread that pointed out that many of those things 3e did too, so it doesn't really answer the implied question of why 4e (as opposed to sticking with 3e---and I say 3e meaning 3.5 as well). The discussion jumped briefly to Circvs Maximvs, then Imaro started a new thread for it here.
I suspect many of the people who were making those claims would, indeed, agree with Imaro that the support in 3e was there. As always, the reasons one plays a given game are difficult to describe objectively, because someone can always come along and say, "well this other game does that too; why did you quit playing it, then?" but honestly, that's not really the point. You play a game because it clicks with you and that's it.
But, many of those complaints did, at least, give the impression that folks who were playing 4e didn't understand the scope of what 3e could do and support, though. Whether that was intentional or not.
Thanks for this Hobo. That places this conversation in a bit more context. Like I said, I would agree 100% with Imaro that many of the issues in 3e had 3e solutions somewhere in the books. And, I would also agree that many of these solutions are quite elegant. I would certainly disagree with anyone who tried to claim that these solutions did not exist at all.