Monsters of Mirth: Post Your April Fool's Creatures Here!

[Shade]

Caesar Slaad
Medium Outsider (Chaotic, Extraplanar)
Hit Dice: 10d8+50 (95 hp)
Initiative: +7
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares)
AC: 24 (+3 Dex, +11 natural) touch 13, flat-footed 21
Base Attack/Grapple: +10/+14
Attack: Claw +15 melee (2d4+4)
Full Attack: 2 claws +15 melee (2d4+4) and bite +12 melee (2d8+2)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Summon slaad, toss
Special Qualities: Beware the Ides of March, damage reduction 10/lawful, darkvision 60 ft., et tu Brutus, fast healing 5, immunity to sonic, resistance to acid 5, cold 5, electricity 5, fire 5, veni, vidi, vici
Saves: Fort +12, Ref +10, Will +9
Abilities: Str 19, Dex 17, Con 21, Int 18, Wis 14, Cha 18
Skills: Climb +11, Concentration +18, Diplomacy +23, Escape Artist +24, Hide +16, Jump +17, Intimidate +17, Knowledge (nobility and royalty) +17, Listen +15, Move Silently +16, Sense Motive +17, Spot +15, Swim +10, Use Rope +3 (+5 bindings)
Feats: Improved Initiative, Multiattack, Negotiator, Weapon Focus (claw)
Environment: Ever-Changing Chaos of Limbo
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 10
Treasure: Double standard
Alignment: Usually chaotic neutral
Advancement: 11-15 HD (Large); 16-30 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: +6


Lean and quick-looking, this humanoid resembles a two-legged frog. Its skin is green with leaflike scales, and it smells of lemons, garlic, eggs and fish. It wears a purple and gold toga, and a laurel wreath crowns its head.

A caesar slaad often takes command of other slaad, leading them on great conquests. Unfortunately, due to the chaotic nature of the slaadi, the caesar slaad more often than not finds itself slain by its own kind.
Caesar slaadi speak Slaad and Common.

Combat

Caesar slaadi prefer to fight from a distance, using their spell-like abilities, although they don't shy away from melee.
A slaad's natural weapons, as well as any weapon it wields, are treated as chaotic-aligned for the purpose of overcoming damage reduction.

Toss (Ex): After a successful charge attack, a caesar slaad gets a free trip attempt. If the caesar slaad wins the opposed Strength check during the trip attempt, instead of simply knocking the opponent prone, it tosses the opponent into the air, dropping the opponent prone into any square it threatens. This toss deals 1d6 points of falling damage in addition to the damage that was done with the initital charge attack. Characters with ranks in the Tumble skill who are not flat-footed can make a Tumble check (DC 15) to avoid this damage and land on their feet.

Beware the Ides of March (Su): The caesar slaad is particularly vulnerable on the 15th day of the third month of a given year. On this day, it's damage reduction and fast healing are suppressed, and it suffers a -10 circumstance penalty on all Listen, Sense Motive, and Spot checks.

Et Tu Brutus? (Su): A caesar slaad can place a dying curse on an ally that has betrayed it. This functions as the bestow curse spell (DC 19), except that it is a free action that may be used on another character's turn, and only when an ally lands a blow that would reduce the caesar slaad to -1 hit points or lower. The save DC is Charimsa-based.

Summon Slaad (Sp): Twice per day a caesar slaad can attempt to summon 1-2 red slaadi or 1 blue slaad with a 60% chance of success, or 1 green slaad with a 40% chance of success. This ability is the equivalent of a 5th-level spell.

Veni, Vidi, Vici (Su): Due to the caesar slaad's amazing confidence, all allies within 60 feet gain a +4 morale bonus on attack rolls.

Skills: Due to the creamy dressing covering its skin, a caesar slaad has a +8 racial bonus on Escape Artist checks.

 

[robjh]

Shnoz

Cousin to the Beholder...

Shnoz
Large Aberration
Hit Dice: 6d8+12 (39 hp)
Initiative: +7
Speed: 5 ft. (1 square), fly 30 ft. (good), swim 10 ft.
Armor Class: 18 (-1 size, +3 Dex, +6 natural), touch 12, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple: +4/+9
Attack: Slam +4 melee (1d6+1), or slime +6 ranged touch
Full Attack: Slam +4 melee (1d6+1), or slime +6 ranged touch
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Slime, erupting pores, constrict 1d4+1, improved grab
Special Qualities: Immunities, blindsight 60 ft., scent, fly
Saves: Fort +4, Ref +5, Will +7
Abilities: Str 12, Dex 16, Con 15, Int 9, Wis 14, Cha 4
Skills: Listen +4, Search +4, Survival +4*
Feats: Blind-Fight, Improved Initiative, Track
Environment: Underground
Organization: Solitary, pair, or cluster (2-4)
Challenge Rating: 5
Treasure: None
Alignment: Usually neutral
AdvancementL 7-8 HD (Large); 9-12 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: --

A shnoz is a ludicrous-appearing, eight-foot-tall creature that is shaped vaguely like a large, bulbous nose. It has a large, U-shaped cavity along the underside, from which hang a tangle of quivering, hairy tendrils. A dense mane of dark, shiny hair covers the back of the shnoz. The flesh of this creature can range from a mottled drak gray to a uniform pale pinkish hue, and the form can vary from a wide flat nose to a long snout.

The shnoz is completely mute and it can only communicate by emitting various scents. These scents will often linger in the air for days, allowing the shnoz to leave simple messages for others of its kind.

Combat

Shnoz are cautious creatures that rely on their unusual abilities to overcome their opponents. They attempt to surprise their foes, striking without warning and keeping their prey off balance.

Slime (Ex): Once every 1d3 rounds a shnoz can spit a glob of slimy material from the opening on the underside. This is similar to an attack by a net but has a maximum range of 50 feet, with a range increment of 10 feet. The slime is effective against targets of up to one size category smaller than the shnoz. An entangled creature can escape with a successful DC 15 Escape Artist check or burst it with a DC 17 Strength check. The check DC are Con-based, and the Strength check includes a +2 racial bonus.

Improved Grab (Ex): To use this ability, the shnoz must hit with its slam attack. It can then attempt to start a grapple using its tendrils as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. if it wins the grapple check, it establishes a hold and can constrict.

Erupting Pores (Ex): Once per minute, pores along the front of the shnoz can emit a dense cloud of fine black powder. This material lingers in the air, and functions as a darkness spell (caster level 6th). This darkness obscures sight but does not counter or dispel light spells. A wind stronger than a light breeze will disperse the cloud after a full round.

Flight (Ex): A shnoz's body is naturally buoyant, allowing it to fly at a speed of 30 ft. This buoyancy also grants it a permanent feather fall effect (as the spell) with a personal range.

Blindsight (Ex): Shnoz can ascertain all foes within 60 feet as a sighted creature would. Beyond that range, they treat all targets as totally concealed. Shnoz are susceptible to scent-based attacks, and are affected normally by overpowering odors (such as stinking cloud or incense-heavy air). Negating a shnoz's sense of smell effectively blinds the creature.

Immunities: Shnoz are immune to gaze attacks, visual effects, illusions, and other attack forms that rely on sight.

Skills: *Shnoz have a +12 racial bonus on Survival checks when tracking by scent.


...from the Book of Beasts.

--
Bob

 

[Mirth]

I demand MORE monsters!

They're alive! ALIIIVVVEEEE!!! And they're all MINE!!!

Mirth

 

[Shade]

robjh - I dig the shnoz! You should let it shoot milk out of its nostrils when it laughs.

Mirth - I'm glad to add to your ever-growing army of humor.

 

[robjh]

robjh - I dig the shnoz! You should let it shoot milk out of its nostrils when it laughs.

Ha!

The Caesar Slaad would be scary, but for the curiously effeminate French Dressing it uses...

 

[robjh]

I was tempted to post a Gazebo monster write-up...

Gazebo
Huge Plant
Hit Dice: 4d8+20 (38 hp)
...
Space/Reach: 15 ft./15 ft.
Special Attacks: Charming Structure
Special Qualities: Damage reduction 10/slashing, plant traits, vulnerable to fire
...

This dread creature has the ability to disguise itself as a garden
structure, allowing it to lull intelligent creatures into a false sense
of security. To further entrap its victims, the gazebo can charm its
victims with its elegant appearance, entrapping them into becoming loyal
and persistent defenders. Only a few beings are resistant to its powers,
and able to see through its facade to see the dark evil that lies
within.

Combat

As the gazebo is immobile, it relies on its ability to charm monsters as
a defense. Thus a gazebo is often home to a number of formidable
creatures who loyally cling to the structure and attack any that seek to
attack. The gazebo relies on a tough structure and bulk to ward off
attackers.

Charming Structure (Ex): This serves as a permanent mass charm monster spell, cast at 13th level. However the charm affects any creature that views the gazebo and has an Intelligence of 3 or more. The save DC is Charisma-based.

...

but then the mood passed.

 

[Cheiromancer]

I really like the Caesar Slaad.

But it should be "Et tu, Brute" shouldn't it? (the vocative of Brutus is Brute)

And I think "veni, vidi, vici" should give a bonus to the caesar slaad itself (if it works like inspire courage does, at least). This should be noted in the attacks section.

Maybe the Ides of March its fast healing changes to regeneration (overcome by lawful or piercing damage), and its DR to 10/lawful or piercing? Then the other slaadi could slay him with daggers.

I know its a silly monster, but I could see it having a Rakshasa like role as a villain in a fairly low level adventure. Especially if it could somehow disguise itself. An alternate form ability would be ideal. Plot hook: the king is really an extraplanar monster!

The PCs would have to find the time when it is vulnerable. One day a year isn't a whole lot of time, though. Maybe every day has a 10% chance of being an "Ides of March" kind of day, but that a vulnerable day can be predicted with a DC 25 Astrology check, a divination, or a commune. Maybe 10% is too often. 5%?