jonesy
A Wicked Kendragon
Ever get that feeling that your DM is in a completely different conversation than the one you're actually having with him (that is, the character he's playing)?
"The princess isn't here."
"She's not? We were told she would be."
"She had to go on urgent business."
"Where to?"
"I'm not supposed to tell anyone."
"Listen, you blockhead, she hired us. We were meant to meet her here. Where is she?"
"At the summer palace."
"The princess is in another castle?"
"No. The summer palace."
Meeting the grand vizier, who (we thought) was the BBEG.
"No. I am your father."
"What?"
"I said I'm your father. Your sensei lied to you."
"Seriously? We're doing this?"
"What's wrong? I thought you'd be happy to finally find me.."
"Could you say the bit about being my father again? This time while breathing heavily."
"What's that supposed to mean? Look, I'm your father, and this is getting much too silly now. I can prove it. I have the same birthmark you do."
"You just made that bit up!"
"No. I'm really your father. Otherwise, how would I know that? Stop being a child! We have things to discuss."
Meeting the Oracle.
"I sense that you wish to find the man hunting you down."
"Well, yeah. That's what we just told you."
"Shush! I must work by my process. Now then. I sense that you wish to find the man hunting you down. I sense that he is somewhere in the north. Somewhere near, the Emirate of Nithia. Yes. He is... sitting in his bathroom. He is reading a scroll sent to him by an emissary. The scroll says not to worry, and that someone has been sent to take care of the people hurting his business. I think it's talking about you. Now I am sensing something else. A foreboding presence. Something dark is following you. It is quite near. A vision of the future! He is here! He steps into this tent and... all goes dark, and he captures me, and vanishes! And... I am in the Alphatian court! They are interrogating me!"
The DM (now as the DM): "Someone steps into the tent you are in. You can't make out who, as it is suddenly pitch black. When you finally see again, the tent is empty. The oracle has vanished."
*the player of the wizard curses loudly*
Meeting the leader of the resistance.
"It is good to finally meet you. I am [horrible pun name]."
"That's a terrible name!"
The DM: "He starts crying loudly. Through his sobbing you can make out that he gets that response all the time, and that it is not his fault that his parents gave him that name."
"The princess isn't here."
"She's not? We were told she would be."
"She had to go on urgent business."
"Where to?"
"I'm not supposed to tell anyone."
"Listen, you blockhead, she hired us. We were meant to meet her here. Where is she?"
"At the summer palace."
"The princess is in another castle?"
"No. The summer palace."
Meeting the grand vizier, who (we thought) was the BBEG.
"No. I am your father."
"What?"
"I said I'm your father. Your sensei lied to you."
"Seriously? We're doing this?"
"What's wrong? I thought you'd be happy to finally find me.."
"Could you say the bit about being my father again? This time while breathing heavily."
"What's that supposed to mean? Look, I'm your father, and this is getting much too silly now. I can prove it. I have the same birthmark you do."
"You just made that bit up!"
"No. I'm really your father. Otherwise, how would I know that? Stop being a child! We have things to discuss."
Meeting the Oracle.
"I sense that you wish to find the man hunting you down."
"Well, yeah. That's what we just told you."
"Shush! I must work by my process. Now then. I sense that you wish to find the man hunting you down. I sense that he is somewhere in the north. Somewhere near, the Emirate of Nithia. Yes. He is... sitting in his bathroom. He is reading a scroll sent to him by an emissary. The scroll says not to worry, and that someone has been sent to take care of the people hurting his business. I think it's talking about you. Now I am sensing something else. A foreboding presence. Something dark is following you. It is quite near. A vision of the future! He is here! He steps into this tent and... all goes dark, and he captures me, and vanishes! And... I am in the Alphatian court! They are interrogating me!"
The DM (now as the DM): "Someone steps into the tent you are in. You can't make out who, as it is suddenly pitch black. When you finally see again, the tent is empty. The oracle has vanished."
*the player of the wizard curses loudly*
Meeting the leader of the resistance.
"It is good to finally meet you. I am [horrible pun name]."
"That's a terrible name!"
The DM: "He starts crying loudly. Through his sobbing you can make out that he gets that response all the time, and that it is not his fault that his parents gave him that name."
