Most amusing line in a game book?

[Klaus]

Hi all,

Have you ever been reading a game book when something in it made you stop and laugh out load? Is there something that makes you checkle every time you read it?

My example is this: The Realms of Sorcerery for WFRP (1st edition) has a chapter on alchemists which describes (amongst other things) a selection of mythical materials which certain alchemsist strive to synthesise. One paragraph in this section is about 'the Alkahest', or universal solvent. The last line of the paragraph reads something like:

It is considered impolite to ask an alchemist specialising in the Alkahest what it would be stored in if it was ever dicovered.

Makes me laugh every time. So, what are your examples?


glass.

Just had to chime in re: Universal Solvent. The answer to this conundrum is a telekinetic bubble: the solvent floats by itself, never touching a surface, and the owner can concentrate on the bubble to let a bit of the solvent flow.

 

[Michael Morris]

Yep. HōL (Human Occupied Landfill). Pretty much the entire book, and all the supplements. Doubly so for the line about the orcs.

HoL is one of the funniest books ever written, game or no. A game with skill names like "Comprehension Through Pugilation", "Withstand / Enjoy Hellish Agony", "Make Sharp Things Go Through Soft Things That Scream and Bleed" or "Make Anything You Say Sound More Important Than The Voice of God" has got to make you laugh.

 

[zeb.hillard]

It's kinda funny to point out, that barbarians cannot create magic items... while raging.

Bye
Thanee

Important for those Rage Mages out there...or Frenzied Berzerkers who roll a 1 on a Craft: Armorsmithing check and hit their thumb with the hammer...

"SO ANGRY, STUPID HAMMER, RARGH! Must wait 6 more rounds to finish crafting armor!"

 

[sjmiller]

I can't recall chapter/page, but in the 3.0 DMG (dunno if it's also in the 3.5 version) there was a throwaway reference to sharks with lasers (a la Austin Powers). I got a kick when I noticed that.

I would love to know where that reference is if anyone else knows it. I still use 3.0, so the books are handy.

 

[Glyfair]

Have you ever been reading a game book when something in it made you stop and laugh out load? Is there something that makes you checkle every time you read it?

But, the winner in my mind was the Spawn of Fashan book. Too many to name, but the highlight is the example of play. The PC goes to a shop and tries to buy things but they aren't in stock. Finally he finds out that a chest is in stock, buys it, and beats the shopkeeper with it.

 

[Rhun]

The fumble and critical tables in ICE's Middle Earth Role Playing (MERP). They still make me chuckle everytime I read them.

 

[Crothian]

In GURPS Fantasy 2 the gods are basically redesigned Winnie the Pooh characters. I find that funny.

There is a great line in new Rifts main book in the rulkes section about how realistic and easy those rules are. That one always gets me.

 

[Pbartender]

Have you ever been reading a game book when something in it made you stop and laugh out load? Is there something that makes you checkle every time you read it?

So, what are your examples?

Lately? It's the feat section of Spycraft 2.0. For example, I always get a kick out of...

“This… is my Boom Stick!”

You cut your teeth on a shotgun barrel.

Prerequisites: Weapon proficiency (Shotgun).

Benefit: When holding a readied shotgun, you may make a melee attack with it using the heavy club statistics. Further, you may use a shotgun with 1 hand, but suffer a –2 penalty with all attack checks when doing so. Also, the DCs of any Damage or Fortitude saves prompted by your shotgun attacks increase by 4. Finally, each time you hit with a shotgun, your opponent is pushed 5 ft. away from you (unless the square is occupied or blocked, in which case he suffers 1d4 subdual damage).

Although, Risus, a free rules light system, has some good ones too...

Characters are defined by Clichés (sometimes several of them). Clichés are a shorthand which describe what a character knows how to do. The "character classes" of the Neolithic Period of RPGs were Clichés: Fighter and Magic-User, Space Marine and Star Merchant. You can take Clichés like that, or choose a more contemporary one, such as Biker, Spy, Computer Nerd, Supermodel, or William Shatner (formerly an actor - now just a Cliché).

The GM must, at the outset of combat, determine what TYPE of Clichés are appropriate for the fight. In a physical fight, Clichés like Viking, Barbarian, Soldier, Swashbuckler, and Novelist are appropriate. Clichés like Hairdresser and Latin Lover are not (but may still be used; see next section).

Thus, a skilled hairdresser is dangerous when cornered and attacked unfairly. Beware.

And so on...

 

[Storm Raven]

I did remember something that made me laugh.

In Synnibar, in his bio, among a list of somewhat dubious personal accomplishments explaining why his personal experience helped him make the game "authentic" (an insane claim to begin with), Raven McCracken cited "jumping off diving boards" as a special qualification.

 

[Shemeska]

From the 3e Manual of the Planes:
"Could it be that Orcus once again rules icy Thanatos, one bony hand clutching his terrible rod?"

Let's face it, I'm immature and I giggle at that line a half second before being disturbed by the mental images that line evokes.