Most amusing line in a game book?

[glass]

I certianly didn't, and I doubt the others did either. Universal Solvent is basically "dissolves anything" stuff, so the joke is that, well, what do you store it in?

Indeed I did mean universal solvent, although the WFRP version is rather less convenient than the D&D version (partly because it doesn't actually exist).


glass.

 

[Tinker]

In GURPS Fantasy 2 the gods are basically redesigned Winnie the Pooh characters. I find that funny.

There is a great line in new Rifts main book in the rulkes section about how realistic and easy those rules are. That one always gets me.

There was a good advert for Rolemaster once (like, 15 years ago?) that said "Amazingly realistic and detailed rules" and then quoted the top listng from the Plasma critical table which said "Foe's skeleton reduced to jelly: try a spatula". That made me laugh.

 

[PallidPatience]

The Discworld GURPS book is full of Terry Pratchett-written goodness. Of course, it has to be hilarious: it's Discworld.

 

[Elemental]

"This Merit does not protect the character against being sent into orbit, sealed in Lucite, having his soul stolen or transformed into a rutabaga, though his mind (if not his sanity) will survive all of these things. He will merely be an invulnerable, soulless, rutabaga orbiting the Earth in a lucite block while his enemies look for a third Pope to bless a dagger."

Mage: Guide to the Traditions


"Groin Shot: This manouvere can also used with a kick, a punch, a weapon (nobody wants a baseball bat down there) or even a headbutt (sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do)."

"Mental Problems (variable drawback): Your character has some major malfunction."

"The fate of Apocalypse's original inhabitants is simple. Tree ate 'em."

Buffy the Vampire Slayer RPG


"These magical lizards have been high on opium for the last thousand years."

That's from an Exalted supplement, relating to stoner dinosaurs designed to be living drug factories, genetically engineered by bored demigods thousands of years ago. They eat opium non-stop, and urinate pure heroin, which is then carted away for processing. :\


There's always the NPC skill listings in the non-d20 Call of Cthulu. You've got skill ratings for such things as "Mumble Incoherently", "Browse For Food" and "Lunge Unexpectedly".

And a vampire's habitat is listed as "wherever innocence is undefended".

 

[Theron]

I don't remember which book, but it's from an early Paranoia adventure. The PCs are assigned to guard a massive war machine. The line in question is simply this:

"Something falls off."

So much potential humorous mayhem in three words.

 

[Gothmog]

Almost all of the original Deadlands books had some amusing bits in them. Things like:

Bug 'Un- Your horse really hates to see you coming.

Heroic- You're a sucker for someone in trouble. Ever hear of nice guys finishing last? Heroes who go chasing down wild critters aren't likely to finish at all. At least they will write something nice on your tombstone.

Impulsive- Some folks just can't keep their pistol in their pants (no, not THAT pistol- thats the Randy hinderance).

Mean as a Rattler- You think the whole world pissed in your canteen. Maybe it did.

Fate- Fate is a fickle b***h. Sometimes she smiles on you, and sometimes she spits the biggest, nastiest thing you've ever seen right between your eyes.


Low Life for the Savage Worlds setting is hilarious too. The whole setting is just so weird and off-the-wall, its hard to describe, but has many LOL moments in the book. Its a post-apocalyptic setting with some weird twists. For example, one of the races is called the Cremefillians, which are sentient Twinkies. Some locales include: the Festering Crapholes of Ewg- not a very nice place to visit, the Mysterious Realm of Keister Island- the Rumpcheeks of Gawd, the Dingdon of Doug, the Moonular Cheese Fields, the Independent Bossdoms of Ordure, and the desert That One Place With All the Sand.

And of couse Paranoia, but that goes without saying.

 

[Corbert]

My gaming group always enjoyed the example used in the DMG, AD&D 2ndedition as a magic item a DM shouldn't let a player invent. "The Multi-Barrel Wand of Mega-death".

Heh heh, looks like someone's waaaay ahead of you. http://archive.gamespy.com/comics/nodwick/gamespyarchive/gspynod278.html

 

[jeffh]

I just noticed the Consuming Vortex of Traal in the DMGII, an obvious-once-you-think-about-it Douglas Adams reference that actually made me laugh out loud.

 

[cignus_pfaccari]

There was a good advert for Rolemaster once (like, 15 years ago?) that said "Amazingly realistic and detailed rules" and then quoted the top listng from the Plasma critical table which said "Foe's skeleton reduced to jelly: try a spatula". That made me laugh.

The Rolemaster tables were always good for a cheap laugh.

The first one that came to my mind was from the 1st Edition Shadowrun Grimoire. The table for exotic materials appropriate for reducing the karma cost to create magical foci and other gear listed this.

It's either 1e or 2e Grimoire, but there's a picture of a really demonic-looking summoned spirit, with some very small print writing that says "See, demons really do exist on the prime material plane!" and "He's a manly demon indeed!"

Sadly, those books seem to have disappeared from my shelf. Grumble.

Brad

 

[Wik]

I love the Polyhedron Omega World book. It's always a great read.

"I have to call it a "Laser Sword". You don't."

Or, for the defect "no arms", it's described as "Congratulations, Mr. Stumpy!"