Most amusing line in a game book?

[Shadowslayer]

DM: "The door swings open, and you're standing in a 20 by 20 room containing a bed, a chest, and the King of Karameikos. Roll for surprise."

The line's from the Kingdon of Karameikos 2nd edition box set. It was an example for new DMs on how NOT to use the notable NPC entries.

It made me laugh, and one of the other guys that DMed trotted out the line several times over the next few years.

 

[Nightchilde-2]

Exalted 1e Lunars book I beleive had something like that with pants.

Ah yes. Pants: See pantaloons.

 

[Tewligan]

I can't remember if it was in the original Warhammer 40K: Rogue Trader book or in an early White Dwarf issue, but there was a schedule of the typical day for Space Marines - including expected things like 8 hours of weapon training, 2 hours of implant maintenance, 4 hours of weaponless combat, etc. Nestled in the schedule is either 5 or 15 minutes for tea time.

 

[jmucchiello]

Don't you guys mean Sovereign glue?

Actually, sovereign glue always bewilders me. It's stored in a jar. Even if it doesn't stick to the jar, how do you get it out to apply it to the things you want to stick together? Krazy Glue is in a squeezable tube for a reason.

As for game books, the original BTRC version of Macho Women With Guns is hilarious.

 

[BullMarkOne]

I always liked the table for figuring out tech artifacts from the (i think) 3rd edition Gamma World rules. Heck some of the entries for random loot in Gamma World were pretty entertaining by themselves.

 

[theredrobedwizard]

The "pants" thing was from the olde Coyote-shifters book published for the O-WoD. Nuwisha, I believe. There was a place on the character sheet where "Pants?" was listed. The Coyote-shifters didn't have Auspices or a similar mechanic, so they injected some humor into the sheet. I guess the Lunars in Exalted borrowed it.

For my contribution, umm... I chuckle every time I look through the Hero Builder's Guidebook (whilst helping new players get ideas) and get to the names section. That reference to Gleep Wurp the Eyebiter (of Ye Olde D&D fame) gets a chuckle each time.

-TRRW

 

[freebfrost]

While not technically a book, the October issue of Dragon Magazine (#348) had a great one in their Core Beliefs: Vecna article:

"Rumors hold that some of the fingers from his right hand, his teeth, one of his feet, his heart, and possibly even his head still linger..."

 

[Kwitchit]

I just noticed the Consuming Vortex of Traal in the DMGII, an obvious-once-you-think-about-it Douglas Adams reference that actually made me laugh out loud.

The Hagunemnon (from ELH) is another Douglas Adams reference.

WFRP 1e critical hit tables are brilliant:
"Your opponent's head flies off 2d6 feet in a random direction".

My favourite one of these, however, is the 1st edition L5R sourcebook "Way of Shinsei"- which covers monks. It had a sidebar saying "rules for becoming enlightened are on page 113". If you count frontispiece, title page, covers, etc., the book has exactly 112 pages...

 

[Kmart Kommando]

The fumble and critical tables in ICE's Middle Earth Role Playing (MERP). They still make me chuckle everytime I read them.

I remember those.

Shot through both ears. Any ear wax is removed.

 

[Olaf the Stout]

Roll 100 or 99 on the DMG 100 NPC traits table.

I had never actually noticed this before so I went and had a look for myself. It's good to see that game designers still have a sense of humor.

Olaf the Stout