As a counterpoint to Barsoomcore's bunch o' stewardesses, a tale of how my Britannia 3E group got in the sh*t, literally. This tale might be too much for Eric's Grandma, but we'll see.
We're doing "The Stink", the 4th level adventure in Dungeon 105. Of course, the group is all 10th-11th level, so already things are slightly off-kilter. Never mind, just give all the bad guys 4 extra HD and/or double their numbers, and we're ready to go. One of the things I love about 3E is how you can scale up encounters without too much difficulty, although going the other way might be a different matter. No major spoilers here, dont' worry; I've changed so much stuff around it's probably barely recognisable.
This adventure is grotesquely biological in an oddly compelling sort of way. Even the new diseases presented have graphic symptoms: skin dripping and running like melted wax; pustules that slither around a victim's skin and leave scar tissue behind; open sores that weep green liquid and stink like compost; etc. The last one turns its victim into a living pile of plant matter at the culmination of the infection, and there's another that turns its victim into a gibbering mouther. It's enough to put you off being a biologist for life. (Mind you, some real-life infestations can be pretty gross too. Diaglo, where are you?)
So anyway, in the previous session, the PCs were at a hospital where sufferers from these gross new diseases were being treated, and the druid gave her remove disease spells a real workout. After that, the town leader asked them to clear out the sewers from where strange "fish-men" had been appearing, and where the source of the diseases was thought to be located. Time to do some sewer-crawling.
This session began with the heroes rappelling down a collapsed section of a sewer main, into a network of ancient tunnels beneath the city. (Why is it that every medieval city's sewers must contain horrors the likes of which dwarf the alligators of NYC in scope? Put your janitor on danger money, m'lud! But I digress.) The sewers and tunnels were, as per the adventure, described as dank, putrid and festering. Rats scuttled away from the light of the heroes' torches and the sound of their boots splashing through the stinking water puddling around their feet. A nicely wholesome environment, all in all.
But it was all fun and games until the heroes came across the first significant encounter, a bowl-shaped cavern with a large puddle of liquid waste in the middle. The knight (great straight man that he is) walked straight into the middle of the bowl, and obligingly trod on the weak section of the floor. It collapsed under his weight and sent him straight into the tunnel underneath, with sewage pouring in on top of him. Cue jokes about being flushed down the S-bend.
Anyway, the group survived that trap, as well as the two fiendish chuul that came to investigate the ruckus. The next encounter was with a disease victim, curled up into a fetal position in an alcove. This disease drained Wis and Cha, and drove its victims mad with rage -- think of the movie 28 Days Later. They knocked him out, and cured the disease. But they neglected to interrogate him before sending him back to the surface. Oh well, I'm a fight-first-talk-later kind of DM, and I like players with the same attitude.
Next major encounter was in a huge vault-shaped chamber, with a pool of black sludgy water in it. Someone made the comment about floaters on the water, which set the tone for the rest of the fight. First the group was ambushed by some wights as they emerged from the tunnel, but they turned those. What really caught their attention was the 30-foot-tall mass of brown ooze, roughly humanoid-shaped, that reared up out of the pool of sludge.
"It's Mr Hanky!"
"It's a poo elemental!"
"No, it's an animated turd!" <-- this was me
As thepoo elemental Mr Hanky animated turd huge fiendish ooze paraelemental moved forward to attack, a cloud of pungent vapours bubbled out of the pool in its wake. 3 people failed their saves to avoid gagging, including the fighter who rolled a 1. Amazingly, noone said anything about breaking wind. The sorc chose this moment to let loose an empowered fireball. He realised it was a bad idea when the vapours ignited around him. On the one hand, it killed off all the wights who were still cowering after being turned. On the other hand, it sizzled most of the PCs nicely. On the gripping hand, the paraelemental didn't notice, being immune to fire and the sorc having failed to beat SR anyway.
You're not a real DM until you've had the experience of DMing a fart-ignition scene, I always say.
Amazingly, they killed the paraelemental without anyone dying. There was more that happened in that session, but none of it quite matched that sequence of events for sheer surrealness. Gotta love it.
Hong "wants the Slayers Guide to Poo Elementals" Ooi
We're doing "The Stink", the 4th level adventure in Dungeon 105. Of course, the group is all 10th-11th level, so already things are slightly off-kilter. Never mind, just give all the bad guys 4 extra HD and/or double their numbers, and we're ready to go. One of the things I love about 3E is how you can scale up encounters without too much difficulty, although going the other way might be a different matter. No major spoilers here, dont' worry; I've changed so much stuff around it's probably barely recognisable.
This adventure is grotesquely biological in an oddly compelling sort of way. Even the new diseases presented have graphic symptoms: skin dripping and running like melted wax; pustules that slither around a victim's skin and leave scar tissue behind; open sores that weep green liquid and stink like compost; etc. The last one turns its victim into a living pile of plant matter at the culmination of the infection, and there's another that turns its victim into a gibbering mouther. It's enough to put you off being a biologist for life. (Mind you, some real-life infestations can be pretty gross too. Diaglo, where are you?)
So anyway, in the previous session, the PCs were at a hospital where sufferers from these gross new diseases were being treated, and the druid gave her remove disease spells a real workout. After that, the town leader asked them to clear out the sewers from where strange "fish-men" had been appearing, and where the source of the diseases was thought to be located. Time to do some sewer-crawling.
This session began with the heroes rappelling down a collapsed section of a sewer main, into a network of ancient tunnels beneath the city. (Why is it that every medieval city's sewers must contain horrors the likes of which dwarf the alligators of NYC in scope? Put your janitor on danger money, m'lud! But I digress.) The sewers and tunnels were, as per the adventure, described as dank, putrid and festering. Rats scuttled away from the light of the heroes' torches and the sound of their boots splashing through the stinking water puddling around their feet. A nicely wholesome environment, all in all.
But it was all fun and games until the heroes came across the first significant encounter, a bowl-shaped cavern with a large puddle of liquid waste in the middle. The knight (great straight man that he is) walked straight into the middle of the bowl, and obligingly trod on the weak section of the floor. It collapsed under his weight and sent him straight into the tunnel underneath, with sewage pouring in on top of him. Cue jokes about being flushed down the S-bend.
Anyway, the group survived that trap, as well as the two fiendish chuul that came to investigate the ruckus. The next encounter was with a disease victim, curled up into a fetal position in an alcove. This disease drained Wis and Cha, and drove its victims mad with rage -- think of the movie 28 Days Later. They knocked him out, and cured the disease. But they neglected to interrogate him before sending him back to the surface. Oh well, I'm a fight-first-talk-later kind of DM, and I like players with the same attitude.
Next major encounter was in a huge vault-shaped chamber, with a pool of black sludgy water in it. Someone made the comment about floaters on the water, which set the tone for the rest of the fight. First the group was ambushed by some wights as they emerged from the tunnel, but they turned those. What really caught their attention was the 30-foot-tall mass of brown ooze, roughly humanoid-shaped, that reared up out of the pool of sludge.
"It's Mr Hanky!"
"It's a poo elemental!"
"No, it's an animated turd!" <-- this was me
As the
You're not a real DM until you've had the experience of DMing a fart-ignition scene, I always say.
Amazingly, they killed the paraelemental without anyone dying. There was more that happened in that session, but none of it quite matched that sequence of events for sheer surrealness. Gotta love it.
Hong "wants the Slayers Guide to Poo Elementals" Ooi
Last edited:
