My, how the adventures have changed...

This thread would be funnier and perhaps more apropos for a light hearted parody if you had the "right" characters for each edition. In my experience at least every 1e party had at least one ranger, so it should have 2. The 2e guys should have be kitted out and and have elves in the party (complete book of elves). The 3e party should have a warforged, a pc with at least four classes etc.
 

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FANTASY HERO (At least as I ran it...)

The heroes (a mercenary swordsman, his companion the street urchin on the run from the thieves' guild of the campaign's central Lankhmaresque city, and a vaguely American Indianish shapechanger who takes on the form of a vicious wolf during combat) have been searching for the urchin's lost father (who they've recently discovered is actually an ambassador from a nation across the sea) for some time now, and have finally worked out that he was captured by would-be revolutionaries who intend to use him as a hostage to trade for their own imprisoned leader.

In this instance, the lost father takes the place of the ruby, as the characters have got the same perfectly serviceable gear they started the campaign with a year ago and have no particular interest in chasing treasure.

After spending about 45 minutes RPing their various contacts among the underworld for information, they work out that the revolutionaries' headquarters is a manor house outside the city on a rocky cliff overlooking the sea. The grounds are too well-guarded to fight their way in -- the swordsman and the shapeshifter can probably take on two or three of the guards at once without too much difficulty, as the guards only hit on a 9-, but all it takes is one lucky hit to location 13 to take out a hero quickly. The heroes eventually decide to climb the cliff and sneak in the back, assuming the shapeshifter can make his EGO roll to overcome Psychological Limitation: Fear of Heights (Uncommon, Strong).

The shapeshifter, unfortunately, rolls an 18 and freezes up. The group is temporarily stymied, but the swordsman eventually carries him up the cliff blindfolded. The shapeshifter player has a good time having his character go spastic about it, entertaining everyone at the table, and gets a bonus +1 XP. At the top of the cliff they encounter a patrol of two thugs, which takes them two turns (24 seconds game time, 40 minutes real time) to defeat. That ends the evening's game session.

The next session begins at the top of the cliff; they all roll well on Stealth (everyone in the group having bought it up to 14- long ago) and manage to break in to the manor house without too much difficulty. In the great hall of the manor they come upon the revolutionaries' leader, his sorcerer lackey, three thugs, and the urchin's long-lost father! The big fight begins!

The heroes all have DEX of 15 or better and so go before the thugs -- but not the revolutionary leader, who has DEX 18. It turns out the swordsman and the revolutionary leader both have DEX 18, SPD 3, and so will be rolling off on every phase to see who goes first. The first turn, the swordsman wins and goes first. He half-moves towards the leader, putting all his combat levels on DCV, and yells "Surrender or die!" for a presence attack. Unfortunately, his PRE is only 13, giving him 2 1/2d6 ... not exactly world-shaking. He reserves the rest of his phase.

The revolutionary leader, with a PRE of 18, is totally unimpressed and laughs in the swordsman's face. He then gives a lengthy speech about how he will become the new king and that all who oppose him must die. Finally, he takes his actual turn, which is to draw his own sword and attack the swordsman using one of his Fencing Martial Art maneuvers. The swordsman uses his reserved half-phase to get in an attack first, but rolls a 17 and misses. The revolutionary leader needs a 13- to hit but rolls a 14 and also misses.

The shapeshifter changes into wolf form (half-phase) and runs over to the thugs (half-phase). The urchin attempts to Stealth over to her father in the confusion. None of the the thugs beat her Stealth skill with their PER rolls, so they don't notice. The sorcerer does, but has Psychological Limitation: Chauvinist and dismisses her as "only a woman". Instead, the sorcerer is more interested in the shapeshifter, and casts a mind blasting spell on him (4d6 EGO Attack). The shapeshifter takes 13 points of Stun-only damage, which is not enough to knock him out, but does equal his CON so he's stunned for the next round.

End of round one. Since the shapeshifter is the only one who's taken any damage, he's the only one who gets the post-segment-12 recovery.

Segment 3: The shapeshifter recovers from being stunned.

Segment 4: Swordsman and revolutionary leader trade blows. Urchin unties father. Sorcerer mind blasts again, but doesn't roll high enough.

Segment 6: The shapeshifter runs across to the sorcerer and bites him hard (d6+1 HKA), knocking out 1/3 of the sorcerer's BODY. One thug attacks shapeshifter, one thug attacks swordsman. Both miss.

Segment 8: Swordsman lands a solid blow on revolutionary leader (9 points of BODY), but it's partially absorbed by the revolutionary leader's DEF 4 armor. Still, 5 points of damage to a 13 BODY character is enough to hurt. Revolutionary leader, however, gives back as good as he gets, hitting the swordsman in location 3 (eyes), which is unarmored, and doing 4 points of BODY (doubled to 8). Swordsman has 15 total, so is now just under half. Urchin escorts father to the door, then comes back into room. Sorcerer mind blasts the shapechanger again, doing more STUN but not enough to actually affect him.

Segment 9: Shapeshifter attacks sorcerer, but misses.

Segment 12: Swordsman and revolutionary leader trade blows but both miss. Shapeshifter bites sorcerer again, leaving the sorcerer with only 2 points of BODY, and also stunning him. (How did the shapeshifter hit location 13, "vitals," with a bite? The world may never know.) Urchin attacks a thug, but misses. Sorcerer recovers from being stunned. One thug attacks the shapeshifter and hits, but only does 3 BODY and 9 STUN. The other thug misses the swordsman.

PS-12 recoveries for all wounded parties! Good thing for the shapeshifter, as he was running out of STUN.

Segment 3: Shapeshifter bites the sorcerer again, killing him.

Segment 4: Revolutionary leader attacks again and misses, but just barely. Swordsman, getting worried, does a Block maneuver to add to his DCV and insure that he will go first next phase. Urchin stabs thug, hurting him badly. Thug stabs urchin, hurting her badly. Other thug swings at the swordsman but cannot possibly hit his current DCV of 11.

Segment 6: Shapeshifter bites the thug attacking the urchin, and kills him.

Segment 8: Swordsman hits the revolutionary leader in location 5 (head) and rolls 6 points of damage, which is then doubled to 12 -- killing him. Urchin attacks remaining thug but misses. Remaining thug attacks swordsman and hits him for 5 points of damage, leaving the swordsman with only 2 points of BODY and a worried expression.

Segment 9: Shapeshifter attacks remaining thug but misses.

Segment 12: Swordsman attacks remaining thug and takes him down to 1 BODY. Shapeshifter then bites him on location 8 (arm), but that does the job and kills him. The GM describes in gory detail how the shapeshifter tears off the thug's arm, causing the thug to die from shock and loss of blood.

Four hours have passed. That ends the second game session. There is no such thing as a goblin, dwarf, or halfling, and elves are exclusively NPCs.

Next session -- the tearful reunion between the urchin and her father, and the details of his secret mission which made him abandon her in the first place...

-The Gneech :cool:
 
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+5 Keyboard! said:
Geez, man! Why's everyone spoiling for a fight in here?!
D&D (and other RPGs) gamers have got be the most cantankerous folks there are!

Yeah. Some people really don't like it when I suggest that their prefferred eddition may have had "Flaws". The funny thing is, I've been accused of slamming both 2e and 3e - even though those are both editions I have loved in my time. The one edition I like the least - 1e - I haven't been accused of knocking! Kind of funny.
 


Call of Cthulhu

The investigators are sent a letter by their old friend and colleague Alberich Monk begging them for help in an ambiguous manner and requesting that they come to his mansion in a relatively isolated area of New England immediately.

Before reaching the mansion, they stop off in a small town called Ominouswood, where they learn that the nearby Monk mansion has been home to several disturbing incidents over the past few decades. They also meet a man named Finnaeus Winthrop, who offers to guide them to the Monk mansion. The party's professional psychologist realizes that Finnaeus seems a bit too eager to lead them on, but the party does nothing yet.

When they reach the Monk mansion, Finnaeus suddenly transforms into a squamous monstrosity of cyclopean proportions with forty mouths. The ex-police officer who happens to be an Irish immigrant and the canny woodsman and lumberjack attempt to fight this creature, but bullets and axe do little against the creature, and the two are devoured. The psychologist and his two remaining companions, a professor of chemistry (and secretly an anarchist bomb-maker) and an attractive young widow and dilettante who is skilled in horseback riding, fencing, loopholes in the Massachusetts penal code, and knowledge of supernatural phenomena, flee into the mansion.

Inside, in the living room, they are confronted by a single creature, a blend of fish, frog, and man that attacks them unarmed. The psychologist goes briefly mad and gibbers in fear in the corner, while the professor, who insists he came armed with a grenade, and the dilettante, who improvisationally uses a fire-poker to attack, manage to overcome the beast.

After the psychologist recovers, the three begin to explore the mansion. They find a concealed door behind a bookcase that reveals an underground lair, in which an altar to some unnameable alien god-thing and a small, padlocked iron chest is discovered. The psychologist turns out to be an expert lock-picker, as well, and opens the box. Within is a tome that the professor picks up; he flips through a few pages, then immediately goes psychotically insane and murders the psychologist before taking his own life.

The dilettante, still armed with a fire-poker, heads back upstairs, but is bludgeoned to death by the reanimated corpse of Alberich Monk.

A week later, another group of five arrive at the Monk mansion: the ex-cop's old partner, the lumberjack's firefighting younger brother, the psychologist's daughter who insists she was abducted by UFOs in her youth, the professor's student aid who is also a radical socialist and arsonist, and the dilettante's older sister who happens to be an exotic dancer, amateur archaeologist, cat burglar, and speaker of Swahili and Yiddish.

Coincidentally, all are expert marksmen and come armed with shotguns and explosives.

Upon finding the mangled remains of the police officer and lumberjack outside, the group immediately agrees that all of their relatives and friends must in fact be dead; they burn the Monk mansion to the ground, and when the shambling mass that was once named Finnaeus appears, they throw sticks of dynamite at its feet and then blast them with a shotgun until a satisfactory explosion occurs.

The group returns to town, completely unharmed thanks to their uncanny foresight in bringing along heavy weaponry, but none the wiser for the experience, since they burned all answers to the questions initially raised, as well as quite a few questions they never quite got to, when they torched the mansion.

The Keeper sighs and privately wonders why he wasted his time writing forty pages of convoluted back story for this, then decides to run Dungeons & Dragons next week.
 

A Passing Maniac said:
The group returns to town, completely unharmed thanks to their uncanny foresight in bringing along heavy weaponry, but none the wiser for the experience, since they burned all answers to the questions initially raised, as well as quite a few questions they never quite got to, when they torched the mansion.

The next week, four of the gunmen are found mysteriously dead in their beds, having clawed at their own throats until they severed the artery. The police and coroner can agree on nothing, save that they all four of them died in the most exquisite terror. The fifth man? His bed was simply empty, and no trace of him was ever found in this life.
 

A Passing Maniac said:
Call of Cthulhu
This may be the best one yet. I've both run and played CoC adventures that matched that description almost verbatim -- especially that group of 2nd characters ("just like my last character, but with a less plausible backstory and more combat skills").
 

WayneLigon said:
The next week, four of the gunmen are found mysteriously dead in their beds, having clawed at their own throats until they severed the artery. The police and coroner can agree on nothing, save that they all four of them died in the most exquisite terror. The fifth man? His bed was simply empty, and no trace of him was ever found in this life.

Which artery would that be?

Also, this is an example of the player rewards and character rewards in CoC not matching up.

Also, one of the many reasons I don't like CoC. GMs tend to like what's best for "the story", not what's best for the PCs survival.

That's cool, just as long as you realize you're not actually playing D&D if there's no inn.

I just want you to know, you can go to Arby's.
 

WFRP

Horst, a smuggler from Wulfenburgheim, and Karl, a charcoal burner from the same village, discover a tattered map on the body of a plague-blown soldier. Because neither can read, they enlist the aid of Gildiril, a wandering elven scribe. The scribe has been drawing the attention of a trigger-happy Witch-hunter, and is anxious to leave town before an angry mob burns him at the stake for being (a) literate and (b) an elf. He tells Horst and Karl that the map leads to a ruined monastery where a buried treasure is hidden. Anxious to add a little muscle to their ranks, the group hires Snurri, an alcoholic dwarf trollslayer with a four-page backstory detailing a tragic love affair gone horribly awry.

The four leave Wulfenburgheim in a driving rain with 4 copper pennies and 3 shillings among them. They're walking. In thigh-deep mud. Outside of town they pass a mass grave filled with plague victims, but wisely choose not to investigate it.

Along the way they meet Pieter Eckhart von Szobel, a hooded, cloaked mystic with a wart and a dead eye. Von Szobel claims to be familiar with the ruins, and tells them of a secret door which hides a valuable ruby. He offers to accompany the party, but they smell a rat and refuse his help.

The group enters the ruins and finds three bow-legged goblins hiding in a cesspit. The trollslayer screams a battle cry and charges into melee. Immediately thereafter, a goblin attacks with a rusty cleaver and severs the dwarf's femoral artery. The trollslayer bleeds to death in the filth two rounds later. The charcoal burner takes one goblin's arm off at the elbow with a lucky swipe of his hatchet, and is wounded in return. The smuggler realizes that his career's trappings didn't include any weapons, and he winds up attacking with a rusty cleaver dropped by one of the gobbos. The scribe retreats out of the chamber. The second goblin dies when the smuggler shatters its jaw, covering the floor with blood, saliva and broken teeth. The third goblin retreats, but not before landing a blow that causes the charcoal burner to lose an eye.

The smuggler and the scribe find the secret door while the charcoal burner stands dumbly, muttering 'my eye, my eye' over and over. The smuggler searches the chest within, but rolls a 97 on the relevant test. This triggers a poison arrow trap, which wounds him. The smuggler fails his toughness test and dies in agony, bleeding from his eyes.

The scribe takes the gem and leads the charcoal burner out of the ruin. Von Szobel is waiting for them upstairs, this time wearing the eight-pointed star of chaos and carrying a staff with a rotted human head on one end. The vile sorcerer tries to cast a spell, but rolls triples on the casting test. Unholy energy courses through his body, and he dies.

The charcoal burner buys a wooden eye from a traveling halfling and retires from adventuring. The scribe attempts to sell the ruby, but is chased out of town by an angry mob who believe he is in league with von Szobel. He escapes, but exposure to the dungeon filth has caused him to contract a terrible disease. He dies of the bloody flux in a ditch somewhere on the road to Altdorf.
 

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