My player is driving me crazy!

[coyote6]

One of those could lead to reenactments of Jack Chick tracts; the other leads to handcuffs, fingerprintings, and threads on ENWorld about a few crazies & bad media giving all gamers a bad name.

I'm not sure either of those is a good thing, but I'm definitely thinking the first is better than the second. 'Cause mug shots, they make driver's license photos look good.

 

[MadMaxim]

LordBOB certainly has a point there (pretty much the same point as with my problem earlier this month)

I think I'd sit down with her and ask her what she wants from the game and why she doesn't enjoy it. Do it as nicely as possible because you're just trying to help her and everybody else have a good time every Saturday.

And if that doesn't work, well, use your imagination... Or some of the other advice that's coming in...

 

[Flexor the Mighty!]

I'd kill her and take her stuff. But I'm old and cranky.

Words of eternal wisdom.

 

[Queen_Dopplepopolis]

We had a player that was very similar... well... she seemed to enjoy combat, but when it came to RPing it was just constant drama. Our characters couldn't have secrets, anything your character said was taken personally...

I talked to her, the DM talked to her - nothing solved the problems. Eventually she spearheaded a movement with two other players that resulted in all three of them leaving the group. It was incredibly depressing and highly annoying. We were friends and our friendship was ruined by her inability to take the game less seriously when it came to the role playing aspect.

The only thing I can tell you is to have a talk to her about how seriously she takes in game conversations. She's got to take a step back and realize that it's not meant to be anything but a game... if she still gets upset if characters have secrets or feels she needs to "cool down" it's obviously crossed a line and is no longer "just a game."

 

[DonTadow]

I've been wanting to avoid this touchy subject for sometime, but it keeps coming up and I can't help but wonder if its just me. And to note, this is not a derogatory statement against female players. Half of the female players I have gamed with or dm'nd or normal typical gamers.

The other half. ...

But out of the four female players in my game, two have big problems seperating in character from out of character. Both of which seem to keep up some type of strife in the party at least twice a month.

The last two parties I was in, different sets of people, consisted of a female player whom coould not sepearte her in game character from out of game character, which ultimately led to my expulsion from the party.

I have never met a guy player whom has this problem. Is this a female gamer thing? Most of the stories I read concerning this almost always deal with female gamers.

 

[Queen_Dopplepopolis]

I have never met a guy player whom has this problem. Is this a female gamer thing? Most of the stories I read concerning this almost always deal with female gamers.

I think it's a problem *more common* with female gamers. I know that it was a problem for me for quite some time, but one day it was like a light came on. "Wow," I thought to myself, "I'm taking this game that is supposed to be fun and making it a horrible experience that makes me a nervous wreck."

However - I have gamed with 3 women that can't seem to distinguish a difference between in and out of game and 1 man. But - at the same time - I've gamed with a lot of women.

 

[LordBOB]

LordBOB certainly has a point there (pretty much the same point as with my problem earlier this month)

I think I'd sit down with her and ask her what she wants from the game and why she doesn't enjoy it. Do it as nicely as possible because you're just trying to help her and everybody else have a good time every Saturday.

And if that doesn't work, well, use your imagination... Or some of the other advice that's coming in...

Well did my suggestion help you and your problem player?

 

[Wrick]

Man, I had this problem once too. Until the player discovered Rangers and Clerics. Every now and again I let her go a little unbalanced with her characters, and then have the campaign revolve around her at the beginning. . .Then she's happy for a good twenty levels.

Her unbalanced characters might be unfair for a short time, but limits herself. Approaching me behind the scenes to have her wings clipped. She loves when her characters lose things, and seems to roleplay much better when the was revolving around her. Then, along the way, the other players shine, and suddenly the main character position switches every month.

Anyway, I don't know if any of that helps as I kinda just ranted. . .but I really hope it does. . .

 

[ForceUser]

a quick and simple solution---------------

HIT IN THE FACE WITH A FRYING PAN AND TELL HER TO SHUT UP!!!!

In light of your sig ("Long live the Paladins!!!!"), I find your suggestion unintentionally ironic.

Man, it's tough, isn't it, Merak? I had a similarly disruptive player that I felt trapped by as well--my girlfriend's roommate, who came to every session yet constantly expressed her displeasure for having to be there in passive-aggressive ways that were sometimes game-halting. I'd like to say that we worked it out, but whenever I approached her about her behavior she denied that anything was wrong, continued to show up, and continued to seem miserable and act disruptively. Eventually my girlfriend and I split up and that was the end of that campaign; the need for a resolution was negated.

In your case, it seems like your player is terribly selfish. If she's a nice person OOG then perhaps she doesn't realize that her behavior is inappropriate. You should try to initiate an open and honest dialogue with her and just lay out the problem as you see it. She might get defensive, or she might be receptive to your concerns. I hope your situation works out for the best, but I'm not optimisitic for you, and I'm sorry to say so. These things tend to end badly. :\

 

[boredgremlin]

Personally i think your screwed. Over involved gamers like this come in 2 main types.

1) the unintentional offender-- This person just really loves the game and allways wants to be involved in the situations. This type can be placated on occasions and on others a good solid talking to will work to curb the issue.

2) The selfish -- This person is just selfish in personality. Selfish in work, selfish in relationships and yes selfish in gaming. Some people just have to be the center of the universe or they pout and whine and argue just generally cause trouble. Ditch them. They are poison, self help books call them "pyschic vampires" for a reason. Givin that you work with her let out easy. Maybe lie to her. As bad as it is take a player or two that dont give a rats behind and blame it on them saying that you have to go with the majority opinion and then pointing out some of the times she seemed unhappy anyway.

Either way this is gonna cause great hassles. If she is number 1. Then its gonna take her time to adjust and fix her behavior. It wont happen overnight even if she starts really trying. If number 2 then your just screwed and nothing will make her happy.