[Necromancer] Abysthor Found Alive! Module Recalled

[Orcus]

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

April 1: Stunned citizens of Bard's Gate awoke to see a dusty and somewhat beaten Abysthor--the long missing and presumed dead cleric of Thyr--stroll through the northern gate.

"I got caught in the dungeon for a while. Lots of evil there. But dont worry everyone, I took care of it all, Praise Thyr" said a weary Abysthor. "Everything is back to normal. Rumors of my death were greatly exaggerated," Abysthor explained to a growing congregation.

As a result, Necromancer Games has recalled all copies of the dungeon module The Tomb of Abysthor.

Asked about the recall, Clark Peterson, President of Necromancer Games, explained "Well, there isnt really much point in releasing the dungeon module now. Abysthor claims--and we confirmed it--that he has wiped out all the evil in the dungeon. There's nothing left for players to do. I don't really see any point in putting out a module that doesnt contain any monsters to kill or evil temples to destroy. Thats not much fun."

Peterson explained further: "Abythor also told me he took his old pal Helman the rogue to the dungeon and he disabled all the traps--even the magical ones. We sent in a group of old school 1E halfling thieves and he's right...the place is clean. No treasure either. We dont have any choice. We are recalling the module."

There is some hope. Peterson explained: "Luckily for those who preordered the module before Abythor cleaned out the dungeon, your copies will contain tons of bad guys and traps. So I guess there is a silver lining to every cloud."

Peterson offered the following advice to disappointed delvers: "Hey, there's always Rappan Athuk!"

 

[Nightfall]

NOOOO!!!!!! Darn you!!! Darn you to...uhm Jesery Clark!

 

[Alaric_Prympax]

I'm Lucky

Thank the role playing gods, I got my copy last week.

Orcus, to get my copy back you'll have to pry it out of my cold dead han... Hey put your Wand away!!! You'll can hurt someone with that. Now where where did I put that Holy Symbol again?

 

[Monte At Home]

Wow. Leave it to Clark to come up with a way to do a post that is both an April Fool's day joke and hype for his new product.

Way to go!

 

[Orcus]

Aw shucks. Thanks Monte. (I slipped in a Rappan Athuk plug too)

Clark

 

[Grazzt]

LOL......nice Clark...now, next time be sure and plug Necropolis and all other future products. (Perhaps Rahotep and Abysthor were hanging out together or maybe Rahotep is the one that found Abysthor and led him out of the dungeon.)

 

[Walter_J]

How to stop the recall

OK. I think I have a plan to stop the recall. First, we get Tom Baker to steel a Tardis and time travel back with a first edition psionic monk assasin to off that stupid priest. Any problems? We could probably arrange for a few darleck (sp?) to volunteer as guards for Rappun Athuk...

Good. Consider the murder done.

 

[Orcus]

UPDATE

AP News--Valley of the Shrines: According to Clark Peterson, president of Necromancer Games, a strange incident occurred involving an otherworldly metal and glass contaption and a wierd guy in a big scarf and bigger hair who killed Abysthor, preventing him from clearing out the dungeon. "Refusing to give his name, the tall stranger (with bad teeth) informed us all that the dungeon was intact--still full of evil," Peterson explained at a hurriedly called press conference. As a result of these strange events, Peterson announced that the recall is now being recalled. "Everything is A-OK with the dungeon. There are a few strange robot things that werent there before, but they shouldnt pose much of a problem to an 8th level wizard with lightning bolt or a cleric with heat metal. We are glad that the Tomb of Abysthor is still full of evil, and now--with his murder--it actually contains Abysthor's tomb."