First off, I think melee guys substantially below the party level have a tough time staying alive! With that in mind, I think the most survivable archetype is an archer... you hang back from fights and if someone gets close to you, then you're nearly as tough as a melee fighter. Unfortunately that role is already gone.
Anyway, back on topic: Melee guy with grappling in a mage heavy game...
I'd go for: Dwarf Monk 2:Fighter 4:Occult Slayer 3
Stick 17 in Str, 13 in Dex and 15 in Con. Raise Con and Str.
In the way of feats:
Combat Reflexes and
Improved Grapple - Monk bonus.
Exotic: Spiked Chain. - this will be nasty.
Focus: Spiked Chain, Improved initiative. - IIRC, these are needed to qualify for occult slayer.
Hold the line - to go with the Combat reflexes.
Power Attack - essential for that spiked chain.
2 of the Mage Slayer feat chain from Complete Arcane. IIRC, one of these means spellcasters can't cast defensively in areas you threaten. One allows you to ignore concealment effects and one lets you ignore magical +'s to AC. Take more of these as you go.
Keep on with the occult slayer: Parrying spells, bonus to saves against magic, bonus to damage magic users and a personal mind blank - all very nice.
For gear, I'd consider:
Boots of springing and striding - for a little extra mobility.
+2 Full Plate - for the AC. - won't slow your dwarfy self down
+1 Ghost touch spiked chain - for all those insubstantial casters.
Cloak of resistance - to boost your saves more. Your saves shouldn't be too bad to begin with.
Whine at your spellcasting friends to get them to buff you nine ways from sunday. Definitely needed.
This build is a little munchy and you'll never be able to cast spells... -8 to your effective caster level from the mage slayer feats. However, you'll be pretty tough, have great effect against spellcasters and be able to grapple.
Apologise if a couple of things aren't quite right - havn't got my books to hand. - mainly I can't quite recall the preqs for the mage slayer feats or the occult slayer. Think they're right.