D&D 5E New DM needs help with story

[GoGoGadget]

So i am a new DM that is taking on the task of creating his own world. I wanted to ask some veteran players for world advise. Let me give you a little background info and then i would love for people help me take campaign where it needs to go.

Quick World intro:
4 gods(Sea god, earth god, lighting god, underworld god, think greek mythology) lived in harmony. The underworld god wanted to rule and began scheming to take over. The brothers found out what they were doing attempted to stop him. Sea and earth were banished in the fight and the lightning god was barley able to banish his brother. This left 1 god to rule the land. He wipes the memory of the people of the land to make them think that he is the only 1 true god. After this he goes into hiding. He has not had contact with the world he resides in in 1000 years.

Campaign intro:
4 players (druid, pally, fighter, cleric) were teleported to a magic shop because a sorceress used a spell to help her summon what she seeks most (Que PC). She told the PCs that she is looking for her brother (a barbarian pit fighter)that was lost around a near by lake. She told them to seek out her brother at the lake. To prepare them for the quest she supplies them with things (they notice a yellow orb in the display case). She says this is a gift to her brother after he won his freedom fighting in the arena in the main city of the land (for this city i am thinking a waterdeep style city).

The adventures go to the cave and solve a few puzzles to get to the main chamber. Here there is 4 arches (1 to the left as you enter, 2 in front, and 1 to the right). The sorceress emerges and tells the party that she was searching for the great evil that used to rule this land and the spell she used gave her our 4 PCs. She new they would lead her there. She then reveals that she is actually a necromancer and begins summoning hordes of undead. Just wen the PCs are about to win the arch behind her begins to glow and giant black hand comes out of the portal and pulls her in. She then emerges changed (think Lillian Vess) with a deathknight that can easily TPK everyone. Just then her brother saves the day and helps defeat the deathknight in the process but is mortally wounded from the battle. The necromancer retreats to the dark portal. Then the lightning god shows up. Tells the adventurers that the death god is regaining his strength and plans to return. Then need to go to the other planes (were each god was banished) and gather help. He takes the pit fighter as he leaves and tells them to go activate the portal and they will find the next "key" in the main city. The party goes back to the magic shop, ransacks the place (grabs the orb) and heads back to the portal.

That is about as far as i have gotten. I would like everyones opinions on what i could possible do next.

My thoughts-
Orbs are keys that open up portals to different planes
death god world will be like the underdark
Sea god world will be a vast ocean and potentially be underwater world (gave them a foldable boat to plan for this)
earth god world is ...... I have no clue.
last orb to get is underdark
Go to the city and fight in the pit to get the next orb?? or some other way

Thanks for the help and feedback everyone!!!

 

[machineelf]

World building is fun. Not sure that I have much specific advice to offer, but I found that I had to play around with a lot of different ideas, some good, some bad, before the world I really wanted to build crystallized for me. Until then I just used other people's published worlds. I didn't want my players to traipse around my world until I felt like it was more thoroughly fleshed out. But it sounds like you have some cool ideas here. I would just advise to be careful not to make everything too railroaded. Let your players have the ability to do things that change your story in various ways. Make sure their choices matter.

One thing I do like to do is to break my world/adventure setting into three tiers. The top tier is the world campaign. This is something that the adventurers may discover early on, but will not be able to resolve it until the end of their careers (20th level). Think: bring the ring to Mordor. The next tier is the regional tier. Each major region in my world has some big event or trouble (and often more than one) that needs to be resolved. And the last tier is the local adventures tier. These are a host of small adventures that the players will run across depending on who they talk to, what they explore. That way, the players can pursue whatever adventure threats they choose to in whatever order. They can ignore anything they want, too, with consequences. World building can be a lot of work, but it's fun work. Once you create a world that you love, it will be a lifelong process of building and refining it. But once it's at a playable level, your players themselves can help you build it by adventuring in it.

 

[guachi]

Since you already know precisely how the first adventure will end, there is no need to actually run it.

Read what you've written to the players and see if they find it interesting enough to play in. Then you can go to the next step of writing more adventures and more about the world.

If the players find it interesting, they can always help narrate what happens in the opening railroad.

 

[Rune]

Keep in mind that it is not the DM's job to create plot. The DM creates NPC's with agendas. The PCs create the plot.

You've got a lot to work with in the OP. But your job will be much easier and the game more enjoyable for the players if you reframe those elements with this in mind.


Full-time DM, Part-time Prep

 

[alienux]

If you give the players free choice in what they do, as you should, then be ready for them to choose things and go directions you didn't expect them to. And be ready to go with it. For instance, they may have no desire to go back to the magic shop. You can nudge them, but remember the most basic of rules:

1. The DM describes the environment
2. The players decide what to do
3. The DM narrates the results.

Number 2 should not be influenced by the DM, other than having a NPC or a found note giving some options for direction that the players may or may not choose to follow. Then be ready to respond when their ideas don't fit with a preconceived plot.

 

[Sammael]

You have elements of a good campaign but what you really have is too much story. As others have pointed out, the story is supposed to be the result of players' actions, not a predetermined course.

What I would do:

- The whole 4 gods backdrop is completely unnecessary for the start of campaign because it doesn't influence what the PCs are doing in any way. Forget about the gods until they actually become relevant to the campaign (and by that time, you may have a bunch of other, better ideas for them).

- The sorceress can be a good (if unexpected) BBEG, and you can certainly keep the essence of her plot, but what you really need is (1) her personality, (2) her motivations, (3) her weaknesses, and (4) a way for the PCs to foil her plot. Oh, and most PCs won't take kindly to her abducting them via teleport so be prepared for them to start suspecting her from the very first minute of the campaign.

- Avoid the deus ex machina moment (where a LITERAL hand of god appears and pulls her in) like the plague. Don't involve gods directly, no matter how cool the cinematic appears, because at that point, PCs become nothing more than pawns in the game of gods and they will hate it. Instead, maybe the death knight comes out of the portal and pulls her in... and despite her treachery, her last words are a plea to the PCs?

- As a new DM, avoid unkillable level-inappropriate NPCs that can TPK the party because that will result in one of the following: (1) there will be a TPK or (2) the party will kill the unkillable NPC and you will be pissed.

- Avoid having an NPC save the say. The PCs are protagonists, they need to play a central role and THEY need to be the ones to save the day. Friendly NPC are there to provide support, advice, and to die tragically to make the PCs realize the stakes are high.

 

[BoldItalic]

People have already posted some good advice. What you have, has the makings of a fine novel but for a D&D game what you need is not the script of a screenplay but a backdrop for the players to explore and make their mark on. It needs to be open ended.

This is a new campaign so the PCs will be starting at low level. They have low-level needs. First, invent a village for the PCs to use as a base. An inn where they can sleep and buy food and drink. A trading post where they can buy and sell mundane equipment. Perhaps a small temple where they can buy healing if they need it. Then add a few NPCs to inhabit them; some harmless people to talk to, while the players establish their characters.

Just when the players are getting comfortable with the setting, the significant NPC should make a dramatic entrance.

 

[Shiroiken]

Extraneous deity information is irrelevant, other than to impress upon the PCs that "there is but ONE TRUE GOD." Make sure to focus on that and to clarify that Region deals with the different sects of the only religion. You may decide later to have the one true god idea stay true later, so don't lock yourself into an idea before you have to.

If the PCs balk at being used as slave labor (as most players I know would be), have the sorceress inform the PCs that the summoning placed a powerful enchantment upon them, and to defy her wishes is to suffer punishment (whether this is true or not is up to you). Another option would be to tell the player that they are Charmed by her, and that the character feels that what she asks is reasonable (this will make the players hate her, but force them to join the adventure).

I would avoid the railroad nature of having the NPC save them. I would instead setup a hard challenge that would allow them to save him first, with failure meaning his death. If he survives, he will be a powerful ally, rewarding the players for solving the challenge. Failure would be the same as if they never found him, making the final encounter VERY difficult.

I would have a single arch and use the portal as the end to the encounter (when she hits 0 HP, rather than falling unconscious), with a demonic voice saying "you have failed me for the last time </name>! Other agents will have to suffice while you suffer eternal torment in my domain." This should be enough encouragement for them to discover what the portal is and who the demonic voice belonged to. The threat of other agents should also keep them on their toes. If the brother survived, he may offer suggestions (such as ransacking her home for clues).

 

[Uller]

As others have mentioned, it seems you have some things a little too scripted. A DM's job isn't to play out his story. It's to populate an adventure setting with NPCs and monsters that have motivations and then give the PCs some hooks based on their motivations (that are hopefully somewhat counter the those of the NPCs) and then let things play out so the players feel like it is their story.

You risk painting yourself in a corner or worse, locking yourself into a plotline that your players don't care about by planning too far ahead. Give them hooks and details that you haven't fully fleshed out yet and see what they bite on and where it leads. Listen to their speculation about what is going on AND USE IT. Present to them problems you have no idea how they will solve and obstacles you have no idea how they will overcome. Then sit back and watch them solve it.

If you are just starting out as a DM, start small. Savor the low/mid levels. Give them a small home base to operate out of and fall in love with. Save the farmstead. Run some errands for the local hedge wizard. Gain the favor of the local nobility or the patronage of a retired adventurer (preferably a PC turned NPC from a previous campaign). Establish connections to the setting for the PCs. Then have an NPC or NPC faction CRUSH EVERYTHING THE PCs LOVE. Preferably in front of them while they are helpless to stop it or make it seem like their fault so the locals turn on them.

In the early levels don't even hint at your greater campaign (at least not until level 4 or 5. This is a time for the players to establish who their PCs are, not for you to showcase your plot line and uber NPCs. In mid levels (6-10) start to throw out some foreshadowing and by around 8th level or so the PCs should be fully engaged in your story but to them if feels like THEIR story (and I promise you, it will have changed several times by then). Wrap up some major chapter around those higher levels and introduce something new (that was maybe foreshadowed earlier) for the high (11-15) and epic levels (16-20).

Above all give the PCs time. Don't give them the opportunity to continuously adventure from 1st to 20th level without taking a breath. Some sessions should be "So...you got back to town, gained 6th level and had some time to spend your loot and tie up some loose ends. Three years pass mostly uneventfully. What have your PCs been up too?" Let them fill in. Then based on that give the new hooks to new adventures.

 

[pemerton]

INTRODUCTORY EDIT: I've read a few more posts and see that a lot of posters are advising you not to run the scenario you've planned, but instead something more low-key (save the farmstead, etc).

Obviously you're free to do whatever you think will work, but I think there's nothing wrong with starting an epic, cosmologically-focused campaing from the get-go. My advice below is given on the assumption that you're sticking to the basic scenario you've thought up, but want to make it better as a RPG scenario.

With that in mind, you'll see that most of my advice deals with how the players are meant to engage the scenario, and increasing their agency/participation while still allowing things to unfold more-or-less as you hope that they will.

For myself, I don't tend to run such tightly pre-authored scenarios; but I've read plenty of published adventures that are at least as railroad-y as what you want to do, so (assuming you're confident that your players will go along with it) I wouldn't worry that others would approach the task of GMing differently.

***********************************

I wanted to ask some veteran players for world advise.

<snip>

Quick World intro:
4 gods(Sea god, earth god, lighting god, underworld god, think greek mythology) lived in harmony. The underworld god wanted to rule and began scheming to take over. The brothers found out what they were doing attempted to stop him. Sea and earth were banished in the fight and the lightning god was barley able to banish his brother. This left 1 god to rule the land. He wipes the memory of the people of the land to make them think that he is the only 1 true god. After this he goes into hiding. He has not had contact with the world he resides in in 1000 years.

Personally I think that world-building is overrated as far as RPGing is concerned.

My number one question would be - how are the players going to engage with this world background? If the answer is "not much", then I wouldn't both too much about it.

And one issue I see straight away is that if the PCs have all had their memories of these foundational events wiped, then the players probably aren't going to be engaging with them.

Campaign intro:
4 players (druid, pally, fighter, cleric) were teleported to a magic shop because a sorceress used a spell to help her summon what she seeks most (Que PC). She told the PCs that she is looking for her brother (a barbarian pit fighter)that was lost around a near by lake. She told them to seek out her brother at the lake. To prepare them for the quest she supplies them with things (they notice a yellow orb in the display case). She says this is a gift to her brother after he won his freedom fighting in the arena in the main city of the land (for this city i am thinking a waterdeep style city).

Why do the PCs accept her request?

I gather that, at the table, the players will have no practical choice - this is the adventure that you've prepared for them. But you might want to think about it from the PCs' points of view also. How does the sorceress's request relate to them? Are they going to wonder why they were summoned by her spell?

If you have a PC with the Hermit background, this is where the background insight might come into play.

The adventures go to the cave and solve a few puzzles to get to the main chamber.

You might want to think about what happens if the players can't solve the puzzles.

Perhaps they have a charged item of some sort - given to them by the sorceress - which they have to use to pass the puzzles if they can't solve them, but which will provide them with buffs at the climax if they don't use its charges. (Maybe it's an amulet of inspiration, which solves one puzzle per use - by inspiring the querant - and once the PCs reach the main chamber the remaining charges convert to inspiration in the mechanical sense, randomly distributed among the PCs.)

Here there is 4 arches (1 to the left as you enter, 2 in front, and 1 to the right). The sorceress emerges and tells the party that she was searching for the great evil that used to rule this land and the spell she used gave her our 4 PCs. She new they would lead her there.

It's not clear where the sorceress emerges from.

More importantly, though, there is a good chance that this will irritate the players (generally players don't like being played for chumps, and they will definitely suspect some sort of treachery at this point - after all, if everything was above-board then the sorceress would have just come here herself, or perhaps accompanied them). Be prepared for them to attack the sorceress.

She then reveals that she is actually a necromancer and begins summoning hordes of undead. Just wen the PCs are about to win

You want to take care with your encounter design here - it would be embarassing if you exactly created a TPK!

the arch behind her begins to glow and giant black hand comes out of the portal and pulls her in. She then emerges changed (think Lillian Vess) with a deathknight that can easily TPK everyone. Just then her brother saves the day and helps defeat the deathknight in the process but is mortally wounded from the battle. The necromancer retreats to the dark portal.

This seems like poor adventure design to me. Let me explain why: this is the first combat of the adventure - but instead of the players getting to win it, through the play of their PCs, you snatch defeat from the jaws of their victory then bring in a NPC to save the day. And yet the enemy NPC still escapes.

If you think about how events will have played out at your table up to this point, (1) the players have gone along with your adventure framing and accepted the sorceress's quest, (2) have solved puzzles but had only one fight, (3) have had the GM fiat a loss for them in that fight, then (4) have had the GM fiat a "saving of the day" via a saviour NPC, only (5) to have the enemy NPC escape via GM fiat.

A lot of players will not find this too much fun, as the payoff they were expecting in return for being good sports about (1) and (2) has not been delivered.

If you want to preserve the general flavour of your set-up, I would suggest the following changes: instead of a giant dark hand, make it a teleport (leaving behind a pool of darkness, if you like, which will facilitate the escape by blinding the PCs). When the sorceress re-emeres, changed, have her emerge with an undead servitor/companion who is threatening for the PCs but not unbeatable.

In the main chamber there should be a sword, helmet, baldric or something similar, which one of the PCs can pick up - this item embodies the spirit or the history of the brother, and the PC who wields it gets a bonus against the undead servitor/companion that lets the PCs save the day themselves.

If the sorceress/necromance nevertheless escapes, that can be resolved through the ordinary mechanics - though you need to decide what happens if the PCs try to pursue her through the archway.

Then the lightning god shows up. Tells the adventurers that the death god is regaining his strength and plans to return. Then need to go to the other planes (were each god was banished) and gather help.

You need to think about the timing of this - eg if the PCs follow the sorceress/necromancer into the archway, when does this event happen?

Also, what reason do the PCs have to go along with the lightning god's request? And why does he need the PCs at all - why can't he go and get help himself? Or send an angel or other messenger?

He takes the pit fighter as he leaves

I've suggested that the pit fighter should appear only in the form of a magic item available for the PCs to use to help turn the tide of the battle. If that item is too overpowered for general use, then the lightning god might take the pit fighter's spirit out of it - but you still probably want to leave the PC with a useful magic item (eg a +1 sword, a helmet or bracer of 1 point damage reduction per hit, or something similar), or the player will feel a bit ripped off.

tells them to go activate the portal and they will find the next "key" in the main city. The party goes back to the magic shop, ransacks the place (grabs the orb) and heads back to the portal.

Why would the PCs think to ransack the magic shop. And if they do, you need to think carefully about what items they get. If in doubt, go for single-used items (eg potions) ahead of permanent ones.

Orbs are keys that open up portals to different planes

<snip>

Go to the city and fight in the pit to get the next orb?? or some other way

It's not at all clear to me why the award for winning an arena fight would be an orb that opens planar portals. And how are the players expected to know that the first orb they saw was important?

If you want the orb to be important, it might be better if the sorceress gives it to the PCs in the first place - perhaps telling them that, because it is attuned to the brother, it will help them track him down. This could also help with the big fight - rather than a special magic item in the main chamber, a PC could use the orb to summon the spirit of the brother to infuse him/her with power - though this may be less obvious than an item in the chamber itself. Another way to go could be that the orb is attracted to the item in the chamber, and this is part of the clues/motivations for the players to have their PCs take up the special item.

And another, probably more fundamental question - who is the sorceress (the death god? doesn't seem powerful enough), who is her brother, and why is she seeking for him if he opposes her? You might want (1) to work this out in your own mind, and (2) work out some way for the players to learn it too, eg maybe there are murals in the main chamber. You could also use these murals to deliver some info about the world set-up, so that when the lightning god appears the players already have some idea that the cosmological set-up isn't what they were expecting. (Also, you might want to discourage a cleric in the party, given that you want to do funky stuff with the gods; and you want to think about how PC abilitys and skills (eg knowledge of history, the planes, etc) might help them extract information from the murals, the orb, etc.)