New Job offers at WotC

[pukunui]

Ha ha. Kelvin 506 = Fahrenheit 451. Very clever.

 

[Dinkeldog]

Woohoo! All I need to do is brush up on my Spanish skills and I'm fully qualified!

 

[Minicol]

Edited, OK nevermind

 

[Minicol]

still, I do not find this so fun after all.

 

[Pale]

What amuses me is that I actually qualify to apply for that faux position.

That's it! I knew that my life was a joke!

 

[Henry]

In WotC's top-secret Renton lair, Scott Rouse steeples his fingertips together...

Eeeexcellent.

Collins, release the hounds!

 

[Dinkeldog]

In WotC's top-secret Renton lair, Scott Rouse steeples his fingertips together...

Eeeexcellent.

Collins, release the hounds!

Woof!

 

[CharlesRyan]

Someone call?

 

[Silverblade The Ench]

"This D20 will self destruct in 15 seconds, good luck, Jim!"

*mission Impossible music plays...dudduh! dudduuuduuuuh! Duduh!"

*crack geek squad breaks into house, gasses the players, while unconcious, they fix their game!*

-Stale pizza exchanged for fresh, thin crust special, WARM too!
-vacuum up all the trash and find all those lost dice in corners.
-Replace bits of carboard on battlemat with "TROLL" and "ORC" and "PC1" etc, with fine painted Reaper Minis instead.
-Eau de Cologne as needed.
-Slaps Rules Lawyer on gonads with a ball pein hammer, places same hammer in the hands of the guy who keeps stealing DM's books and never returning them.
-Slips $500 in DM's pocket, for services rendered but never bloody well appreciated or recognized!
-Exchanges scrawled, illegible, eraser grimed PC sheets, with nice, neat typed ones (and slips copy into DM's notes, highlighted for any cheats)
-Installs beer/soft drink holders on table and repair the table so it's no longer wobbly, plus add edges on table so dice don't roll off.
-Installs home theatre/PC system, so inspiring D&D moments can be played, like, the "Crypt" scene from Conan the Destroyer and "Harem" sequence from "The Longships".


Then our "Mission D&D" team sneak out, release antidote gas, and game recomences!!

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

"This D20 will self destruct in 15 seconds, good luck, Jim!"

*mission Impossible music plays...dudduh! dudduuuduuuuh! Duduh!"

*crack geek squad breaks into house, gasses the players, while unconcious, they fix their game!*

So you are the a-hats who ruined our game!

-Stale pizza exchanged for fresh, thin crust special, WARM too!

Hey, pizza has cheese. Cheese gets better with age, therefore pizza gets better with age.

-vacuum up all the trash and find all those lost dice in corners.

The dice in the corners were sacrifices to the house spirits to ensure good rolling. Since the dice were taken, the spirits became quite angry with us. Combat takes forever under normal circumstances. It gets a lot worse when nobody can roll more than a three. Thanks a lot.

-Replace bits of carboard on battlemat with "TROLL" and "ORC" and "PC1" etc, with fine painted Reaper Minis instead.

Great, now I'm going to need something better than a ziploc bag to store them in...

-Eau de Cologne as needed.

When I got home my wife was wondering what I had really been up to since I smelled of cologne. You forgot to put some lipstick on my collar to make my hell complete.

-Slaps Rules Lawyer on gonads with a ball pein hammer, places same hammer in the hands of the guy who keeps stealing DM's books and never returning them.

OK, this was funny.

-Slips $500 in DM's pocket, for services rendered but never bloody well appreciated or recognized!

Thanks!

-Exchanges scrawled, illegible, eraser grimed PC sheets, with nice, neat typed ones (and slips copy into DM's notes, highlighted for any cheats)

I didn't keep copies of my players sheets because I trusted them. You ruined that for me. Thanks a lot.

-Installs beer/soft drink holders on table and repair the table so it's no longer wobbly, plus add edges on table so dice don't roll off.

Cup holders are fine, but that damn edge is annoying when I lean on the table. We are perfectly capable of picking up our dice from the floor when the roll off.

-Installs home theatre/PC system, so inspiring D&D moments can be played, like, the "Crypt" scene from Conan the Destroyer and "Harem" sequence from "The Longships".

And further distract the players from the game...thanks one more time.