Not sure how to approach player issue

[Gundark]

So my group and I are playing a D&D 4e game and have been enjoying it quite a bit, except....for one player. Who doesn't show up all the time, and when he does doesn't seem to be present. Well the session before last he stated that he doesn't like 4th and likes 3rd better, I wasn't sure how to take that but whatever. So last session he expands on this to say that he doesn't like 4th and doesn't like the campaign either. So I took a quick poll of those who were there (one guy got pulled away by work emergency), and most where fine with the campaign and want to see it to the end. Now I hate D&d 3rd, but the only variant that I could stomach is Fantasycraft. I have the Fantasycraft rules already and started to give them a read. Not a bad ruleset, I could see myself running it despite the elements of 3rd that I hate that are in there. So I'm going to poll the group about system, if they want to switch, then fine, if not then we stay the course. The campaign is what I am not sure about, again the majority (6 players total) 4 want to see it through, 1 one doesn't care either way (and is married to the guy who caused all of this to begin with), and then the guy who hates the game/system. He's an old friend, but I am feeling a bit torn. On the one hand I wanna tell the guy tough as the majority want to stay the course. However I also want him to enjoy himself too and I'm concerned he'll just drop off (with the other player who is married to him and she just shows up to have fun and roll dice).

Opinions?

 

[Crothian]

Talk to him alone. Tell him that you want to finish the campaign and that is what the majority of the players want. He is free to particpate or not. If he isn't having fun he can sit out till the campaign is done and then ensure him that once the next game starts up he will be welcomed back no problem.

 

[CuRoi]

Personally, I may not care much for a certain edition but if my group chooses to play one and I take the time to show up and sit down at the table, I'm not going to whine about it, sabotage it, or annoy others with my personal preference. If my dislike is that bad, I'm just going to find something else to do, like an adult.

Maybe this doesn't sound constructive but there is no sense in changing the entire campaign just for this one person. If his wife isn't invested in the campaign enough that she wont take her own time to show once he leaves, then she's not going ot be a huge loss either.

I'd just have a discussion with him - you say he's an old friend. What specifically does he not like? Is it even something you can change? He may have legit complaints, if so , address them. On the other hand he may just rattle off a bunch of things you can't control or alter. In which case, I'd just apologize, tell him there's not much you can do and you want to see the current game through.

I don't know much about your group's dynamics, but I think you've done the right thing polling the group. Continue to seek everyone's feedback, don't weigh any one person's feedback more heavily than the next, and you'll be fine.

 

[TarionzCousin]

One option is to remake his character in the 3E style...

[sblock]...and then kill him off in the first five minutes of the next session. [/sblock]

--just a thought.

 

[anest1s]

Just let him leave.
Everything else will just lead to bad feelings for both sides.

Asking everyone if they prefer 3rd or 4th edition implies that you are open to play 3rd. Well, if you can't play 3rd and he can't play 4th, there isn't much you can do.

If you want to play with him in the future, tell him that you know he doesn't enjoy the game because of the rules, and if he chooses to stop playing, he can join again later, if he changes his mind.


Roll a Diplomacy check to keep the other player who is indifferent.

 

[OnlineDM]

Let him know (in a private conversation) that this is a 4e campaign and you plan to keep running it as such since most of the group is having a good time. If he's not having fun, then he (and his wife, if she's not really into the game) don't have to keep playing.

Make sure he understands that you're not trying to kick him out and he's welcome to keep on playing, but if he's going to just complain about the game and isn't having fun, it's probably best for both him and for the rest of the group if he doesn't play in this particular game.

Perhaps he can run the next campaign and run it in a system he enjoys. And if you don't want to play in that system, you don't have to play.

 

[the Jester]

I'm going to totally "me too" this one- pretty much everyone has it right.

 

[Oryan77]

Both of you should get really drunk and then go in the backyard and duke it out. The one left standing gets to play whatever edition he wants.

Or if you really want, you can solve this dispute like gentlemen. Get some pistols, stand back to back, march out 5 paces, turn around, and fire.

People wouldn't complain about what edition they are playing if this was how we handled it more often.

 

[Zelda Themelin]

I think you should as friend ask him why/what he doesn't like in system or game in general. It might all boil do to something like "his character". Or maybe he indeed was ok with system at first and now finds it annoying. In this case it's best to ask if he wants to finnish this game or bow out with no hard feelings.

You can do poll what people prefer to play, but don't include into it system you don't want to play/dm. Then you would be next one to get annoyed. If everyone else seems ok wtih the system you play now you must talk a little bit longer with your friend.

About expectations and friend stuff. Is there point of you playing RP together anymore? If that is too big a part of your friendship, then discuss about other stuff. Him changing his mind about system for next game with new characters? Maybe DM himself some other system. Maybe you starting DM bi-weekly two games, one where he is included and one where not. Don't do this behind his back. Talk and fight about it like friends do.

 

[steeldragons]

Question is....did he know it was a 4e campaign when he started?

If not...then, well, time to "suck it up and roll the dice" OR "grab your dice and leave/sit it out."

If he did...and was, maybe "trying 4e out for the first time" or thought he'd "give it a shot" and didn't like the result...well, time to "suck it up and roll the dice" OR "grab your dice and leave/sit it out."

But this sounds, to me, like just another example of "the unfamiliar edition" dividing groups/splitting people up instead of bringing people together to play.

Now, you have a consensus. Most of the players in the group want to continue. That's a no-brainer. Majority rules, finish the game...and your "old friend" is welcome to come play in whatever the group decides to play next if he likes.

Good luck and happy gaming.
--Steel Dragons