Of Sound Mind the Halfling Way

[the Jester]

Lost in Faerieland- the Conclusion

The eternal twilight remains all around. Our heroes don’t really feel tired; if they weren’t halflings and thus instinctively tied to their food, one wonders if they would grow hungry.

Marching through the woods, more and more frightened by the oppressive shadows and the spooky movements they keep seeing out of the corners of their eyes, our heroes jump when they hear a song ringing out:

”Alas and alack,
They’ve left the path;
No way back
From faerie wrath.”

Our heroes exchange a glance and, with a shrug, start following the voice.

”Alas and alack,
They’ve left the path;
Nor spell nor track
Will lead them back.”

“Who’s there?” calls Whisperclick nervously. The party passes through a screen of brush and trees, and in the midst of a small clearing they spy the singer- a satyr, his beer belly bulging, all too obviously virile. He grins and waggles his eyebrows at Naomi, the only obvious female.

“Alack and alas,
They’ve left the trail;
No faeries of grass
And they’ll surely fail.

No path nor pity
Nor friends nor guide,
No town or city
Roam far and wide.

In emerald woods
Forever they’re lost
Escape if they could
But won’t pay the cost.”

“Nicely sung,” says Sandy politely.

“Thank you, friends!” The rosy-cheeked satyr raises his wineskin and squeezes dark fluid into his mouth, smacking his lips. “Ahhh, that meets my ends!”

“Do you... know us?” Naomi asks cautiously.

The satyr guffaws. “Know you? I’d say not, I’m afraid not; but it would be a lie to say I’ve not heard of you! Indeed, all the woods are abuzz with word of you!” He belches, clearly drunk.

“What’s your name?” asks Beau.

“I am Gorgle Deepsinger, named for my deep voice!” He sings out a deep note. “Isn’t that choice?”

“Say, maybe you can help us.” Beau puts on his best smile. “We’re lost. Do you think you could guide us out of the woods?”

“Ahh, you ask my aid. I’ll give you a piece of advice for a lady’s honor!” He grins and winks at Naomi.

“She’s not really a lady,” says Sandy at the same time that Beau comments, “Well, I don’t know that she has any honor.”

Naomi cocks an eyebrow. “Sure, why not? If you can take the ride, anyway.”

***

Gorgle proves nigh-insatiable. With a little nudge from a charm, Whisperclick lends a hand as well, and what ensues can only be described with the word Superporn. With halflings. Right. Anyhow, we shall (mercifully) turn our heads away for a little while, and when we catch up with our heroes- surprise, surprise- it’s twilight. Still and again.

***

Though he shakes his head wondering why they’d want to leave, Gorgle is nonetheless more than happy to lead our heroes about. The infuriatingly vague nature of time and place in the fey realms seems to confound him to a certain extent as well. However, he claims he knows others that could help. It is not until our heroes stumble upon a group of four exceptionally ugly gnomes that our heroes have any faith in the lascivious satyr. But then he proves his worth. The gnomes offer to escort the party to the edges of Faerieland.

Their escort goes on for what seems like forever. Our heroes, though not needing sleep, do need to rest their legs; and so eventually they break for a rest period. It is then that Badeye, the leader of the gnomes, demands that the group surrender one of their number to the cook pot.

“Why does everyone here want to eat us?” Sandy grumbles.

But Gorgle intervenes. He talks to Badeye, Bignose, Smackhead and Dropkick, persuading them to let the party go to the aid of the head that Lita had kicked into the woods.

“Say, where is Lita?” wonders Sandy. Nobody has seen her since the witch’s hut.

“Uh oh,” moans Timothy.

The satyr continues to argue with the gnomes. Smackhead, especially, seems intent on devouring one of our heroes. But eventually, with the threat of the head’s anger, Gorgle manages to dissuade them.

Thus it is that, at last, escorted by the foul-tempered gnomes, our heroes tromp through the woods and find the head Lita had kicked off the path and away from its well, glaring angrily as they walk up.

“It wasn’t us!” wails Sandy. “It was Lita! And she’s gone now, we don’t know where!”

Carefully, they re-brush its hair, and then return it to the well in its bucket. It snaps at them and growls the whole time. “No hard feelings?” Timothy calls down the well. His only answer is a wordless snarl.

With a shrug, our heroes retreat from the well.

“That’s going to put you in good with the Haligonians,” the satyr points out to the gnomes, who only scowl and salivate.

Badeye and his cadre lead the party to the edge of the river, and then take their leave. After copulating with Naomi one last time, Gorgle does likewise. Soon our heroes are passing downstream, stepping from rock to rock amongst the jumbled stones of the shore. As they travel the trees around them begin to thin as the sky brightens.

“It’s dawn,” calls Whisperclick. “It’s dawn!”

Our heroes whoop in joy. The twilight is over!

Next Time: A visit to a temple of Bleak!

 

[the Jester]

Going to Church

2/28/369 O.L.G., 2 p.m., the city of Ulborey, Strogass

Hey, look at that, there's a day and time again! No more perpetual twilight!

Our heroes reach the elven town of Folthit, in the scattered edges of the Lofta Forest. After securing lodging at the Red Griffon Inn, the party heads directly to a large temple of Bleak, determined to at least inquire about the possibilities of raising Martini from the dead. “Maybe we can turn in his gem to them,” suggests Naomi. “Remember? After we helped the sheriff catch Manson we got those black gems as a reward*- he said that we could trade them for a favor at a temple of Bleak.”

“And maybe they...” Timothy mumbles, then hesitates.

“What, Tim?” asks Sandy. “Oh, is that okay? Is it okay to call you Tim?”

“Yeah...” Timothy hesitates, his brow furrowing. “Tim’s okay. Just not Timmy, I’m not Timmy.”

“What are you thinking of having them do?” Sandy gently insists.

“Oh... the nice lady in the tree said I needed to be healed.** I was thinking... there’s a spell heal... Maybe I can trade my gem for that.”

“That’s... a really good idea,” Beau slowly acknowledges.

***

The Dark Cathedral of Folthit

The Black Cardinal at the temple is one of the most powerful men on Strogass. He is a puissant cleric of Bleak, dominator of many demons, master of many undead. He is a dangerous man, not to be crossed or trifled with.

When the opportunity to gain two stones of oblivion of the largest size comes before him, he does not hesitate. And the asking price for each of them is low- for one, the fools only want a heal!

Certainly, he could kill the halfling band carrying the stones and try to take them; but that is impossible, as he well knows. A stone of oblivion must be given freely or it will disintegrate in a puff of vapor. He could intimidate the fools into giving their stones over, but one never knows when that fatal line will be crossed and the stone will discorporate. No, better to bargain fairly for the stones, much as it galls him.

The stones of oblivion wouldn’t be worth much if it wasn’t for their capacity to aid in the construction of certain magic items- generally of the type to hold a keen interest for clerics of Bleak. They could absorb much of the cost in personal energy of certain exceptionally vile processes that could imbue the darkest properties upon an enchanted item.

Thus, when our heroes walk away from the temple, Martini walks with them, hale and hearty, feeling good as new. And Timothy walks with a strange caution, as if he’s never seen the world before. He has been healed. The strange form of autistic madness afflicting him is gone.

***

3/15/369 O.L.G., the city of Ulborey

Our heroes’ arrival in the city of Ulborey leaves them amazed. None of them have ever been to a city of this size. Sitting along both sides of the Crack, a tremendous tear in the land of Strogass, the city is famous for its salt- so famous that many people call it the City of Salt.

Well, our halfling band of adventurers isn’t really interested in the salt. They’re interested mainly in leaving, and since the Crack opens up directly into the ocean, they figure they’re at just about the right place for it.

Our heroes stay several weeks in Ulborey before suitable passage leaves, with them on board. They are heading to adventure. They have signed on board a vessel seeking to recover lost treasure- a sunken trade vessel sank amongst some islands with a cargo of valuable Peshan spices. They have been removed from the wreckage and all evidence points to them being on one of the six islands surrounding the wreck. If recovered, the spices could fetch a heavy trade bar, that’s for sure.

So it is that our heroes’ dramatic island adventures begin.

Next Time: Our heroes reach the as-yet nameless islands as they begin their quest for the cargo of the Deep Lobster!

*Back here.

**A heal, of course, cures insanity. When this first came up as a possible plot element I found it utterly fascinating, and I suspect the player did too. (Comments, Brain?)

 

[Brain]

“Yeah...” Timothy hesitates, his brow furrowing. “Tim’s okay. Just not Timothy, I’m not Timothy.”

Tim and Timothy were okay, but not the dreaded Timmy.

**A heal, of course, cures insanity. When this first came up as a possible plot element I found it utterly fascinating, and I suspect the player did too. (Comments, Brain?)

Yes, I hadn't really considered it when I made the character, but after realizing that Timothy could be healed, I had some thinking to do about how he would respond and act after. He's still got a 4 wisdom after being healed, but is much better adjusted to the world around him, and no longer gets horrible visions of blood and such when someone says Timmy. (Tied to an incident in his youth and his real halfling parents)

As an aside, we seem to be missing a bit where we ended up kind of far away after leaving the faerie realm. I recall a visit to an elven city (I think the Bleak church was there) and then a river journey where Timothy got tattooed on the way to Ulborrey.

 

[the Jester]

As an aside, we seem to be missing a bit where we ended up kind of far away after leaving the faerie realm. I recall a visit to an elven city (I think the Bleak church was there) and then a river journey where Timothy got tattooed on the way to Ulborrey.

Ah, you're correct- the church was in the elven city at the edge of the Lofta Forest. I'll edit and fix that. As to the river journey, I just skipped over that- there were no encounters or anything. Granted, the huge tattoo covering Timothy's arm and side of the dryad and her tree took place during that journey, but I don't recall anything else of interest.

 

[hippiejedi2]

An Account from Beau

Our hungry band of adventurers were lost in the accursed fey forrest, where amongst other unforgivable crimes, I later learned they curdle ones milk or so I hear. Unfortunately we had no milk to curdle, but that's a different story. The unstable kid, Timmothy said Martini had visit him in dreams and that he can be resurrected. Timmothy claims that the stone set within Martini's helm can be bartered for his return, the same helm i looted from his corpse after the gar fish, the same stone I pryed out of the helm before testing it on non-Halfling companions. Those fools believed me when I told them I knew nothing of the stone, but I fear that somehow the unstable Timmothy had figured me out. I knew how to play that game, so in response, Martini "visit" me in my dreams and instructed me to convey to the party the miraculous return of the gem to the worthy halfling after we got out of the fey forrest.

Some tyme later at an inn in the elf village I called Timmothy's bluff and stalemated our game, and hence determined he was the worthy individual and slipped the gem in his pocket. I subsequently spoke of dreams in general expecting one of the other saps to recall the foreboding of my dream, and since it was my plan it of course worked, I believe it was the kobold federico who recalled my dream. Martini was resurrected albeit somehow more pusilanimous in his rebirth, perhaps his helmet will rekindle the fire in him I knew. Timmothy figuered out my game and I have kept tabs on his, I have watched and listened to him in battle and there exists something in me that requires a physical manifestaion, it has always been there, but witnessing Timothy I now know it is only a matter of tyme. The high point of our stay in the elf village is of course elf-booty and I have fully given some lucky elf-chick all of myy halfling might.

 

[the Jester]

First of all, thanks to hippiejedi2 for that post- it's cool when the pcs add their perspective to things.

Now, an update:

4/7/369 O.L.G., 2 p.m.

“Islands ho!” cries the man in the crow’s nest.

Sailors who were idle only seconds before suddenly begin bustling about, doing sailor things. To most of our halfling heroes, this is incredibly baffling. Most of them are, if the truth be told, a little afraid of the water; it would never occur to your average halfling to join the crew of a ship. The very thought would make your average halfling shudder.

Except for stouts.

Sandy is in his element, although truth be told again, he’s never sailed the sea before, just rivers. Ahh, but it’s so big and heavy! The waves in the storm that rose up were immense, and the turgid flatness of the sea when they’d been becalmed were eerie reminders that the sea was mighty, far mightier than any ship or vessel. It could smash them at whim, or leave them stranded and unable to move. Though it moves him, the sea also frightens Sandy.

At one point during the trip, while they were becalmed, Beau had suggested they take a swim. Sandy had stopped him. “Trust me on this,” he had told Beau, “never swim in the ocean.”

“Them’s the islands,” growls the captain, poking Sandy out of his reverie. “That’s where the Deep Lobster went down.”

The ship sails in to the midst of the islands, six small tropical islands forming a small ring. In the middle of them all, a ship carrying precious spices went down. The wreck has been searched already, and the spices- which were sealed and might well have survived- have been removed, presumably to one of the islands. Furthermore, the captain claims that there is a black diamond the size of a fist on the islands somewhere. It is for the spices that our heroes have come here; but a fist-sized diamond... well! That wouldn’t be anything to sneeze at, that’s for sure!

Given a rowboat the next morning, our heroes pick an isle and start rowing.

***

4/9/369 O.L.G., 8:30 a.m., the first isle

With a yawn, Beau comes awake. He scratches his head, then drags himself out of his bedroll. “Good morning, Timmy,” he says, inwardly snickering.

“Good morning,” Timothy replies nonchalantly.

Beau scratches his head again. Timothy doesn’t seem bothered at all....

“Hey, Timmy, how did you sleep?” he tries.

“Hey, don’t!” calls a muffled Sandy, sitting up and stretching. “You don’t want to set him off! You should be nice to Timothy- Timothy, it’s okay,” he soothes.

“Uh, okay,” says Timothy, confused but not upset.

“Whoa,” breathes Beau. He is healed, he thinks.

***

Noon

Our heroes hack their way into the jungles of the isle. The air is hot and humid, and of them all only Jawbreaker and Federico seem to really enjoy it. Soon they find an empty sod hut. Jawbreaker pokes it with a stick, then grunts and drops to one knee, scanning the ground for tracks.*

”Come,” he says after a moment. “Jawbreaker find them.”

The others follow behind him. He intently scans for signs of passage as the group moves along, and soon he leads them to a small village of similar sod huts. But again, there appears to be nobody there.

“What do you think lives here?” Beau asks.

“Goblins, gnomes maybe.” Jawbreaker shrugs. “Small like us. Not halflings, feet too small.” His eyes catch something in the village. “Let’s look.”

The party finds the village as empty on closer inspection as it was on first impression. However, one hut appears partially burned, and around it Jawbreaker finds a muddle of tracks: humanoid, livestock, some sort of big cat. And he finds a few shed red scales.

“Scales!” exclaims Beau. “Like, a dragon?” He glances fearfully at the burn marks and gulps.

Jawbreaker shrugs. “Not sure. Could be.” He frowns and looks around. “We go high ground, look around.”

The island rises to a central peak- it looks volcanic to Martini. The party begins tromping upslope towards it, rising out of the thick vegetation of the jungle. Insects buzz around them and sweat drips down the halflings’ faces. Federico loves the warmth, but all the climbing and walking is draining his meager strength. Our heroes stop to rest and snack frequently.

Eventually our heroes near the top of the isle and approach a series of slabs of stone leaning together. “Hey, is there something moving in there?” asks Beau- and suddenly something flies up to the top of the boulders, emerging in a flash of fur and scales. It is a weird cross between dragon, lion and goat, with three heads, formidable-looking claws and hissing breath. A terrible smell of sulfur and burning metal follows it. Its great draconian wings beat mightily, thrusting it through the air, and its dragon head belches out a blast of flame that catches Sandy, Beau and Timothy in its area. They all scream as it burns their flesh, but all are stalwart; none fall.

Timothy stands fast in front of it. “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you!” he cries, casting shield. Meanwhile most of the others start pelting it with missiles. Jawbreaker, unfortunately, is on the wrong side of the stones to reach the beast; he can only rush along the perimeter hoping to reach it. As he jogs along he pulls out his bow and strings it in a single motion.

Beau, standing back, fires his own bow. Over and over, he sinks small arrows into the monster’s body until it is bristling like a porcupine.

Sandy steps in to flank the monster with Timothy, thrusting with his spear, but the monster turns its full attention on him, and to his dismay Sandy realizes that Timothy isn’t even holding a weapon. With a groan, he tumbles away as the monster snaps and claws at him, tearing a chunk from his shoulder with its goat bite. He tries to get some distance, but it pursues even as Timothy tries to roast it with a flaming sphere. Jawbreaker, shouting angrily, continues to try to find the chimera as it circles away from him. Finally, he stops in frustration and climbs up the rocks. From the top he can see, and he starts shooting his bow at the monster. Unfortunately, his arrows go wide again and again, or bounce harmlessly off the terrible monster’s scaly hide.

Not so Beau’s. His natural dexterity makes him extraordinarily accurate, and though he isn’t especially strong, he has an eye for the weak spots in the creature’s defense. Finally, disgusted, Jawbreaker climbs back down off the rock and gets out his spear. But before he can use it, there’s a terrific CRACK! and a lightning bolt snares the creature, arcing out from the wand in Timothy’s hand. The monster’s three heads give out a trio of cries of pain, and the chimera struggles down from the air, barely avoiding a completely disastrous crash, and collapses.

“Wow,” says Sandy, wincing as he probes his wounds.

“Bah!” snorts Jawbreaker. “Jawbreaker not even get to hurt it!” He snorts angrily. “Stupid monster!”

***

2 p.m.

Interestingly, a search finds that the chimera was wearing a collar with a monogrammed ‘S’. Moreover, there’s a secret trap door in the ground in the center of the leaning stone slabs, and it’s big enough that the chimera could have fit through it easily.

“What do you think is down there?” Beau murmurs, almost to himself.

“’S.’” Sandy grins.

What they find is a group of goblins living in a small warren of caves. After a fairly large engagement in which when they slay the goblin chief another goblin immediately announces that he’s chief now, and slowly the violence winds down with the goblins dead or fled. Our heroes, too, are bloodied and battered; and they certainly realize that going forward might prove more difficult than going back and resting for a while.

Unfortunately, as it turns out, they are incredibly wrong.

Next Time: How incredibly wrong are they? Come and see!


*No, he didn’t take a level of ranger- he took Track as a feat. He was torn up about whether he should take it or Cleave, but he ended up very happy with his choice (I believe- maybe he’ll poke in and comment, you never know).

 

[the Jester]

The party:

Jawbreaker- wild halfilng barbarian 3, CG
Timothy- tallfellow halfling sorcerer 5, CG
Beau- lightfoot halfling rogue 4, CE
Sandy- stout halfling rogue 3/fighter 2, LE
Martini- lightfoot halfling ranger 2/fighter 2, CG (since coming back to life)
Naomi- ahem, er, halfling psion 4, LE
Whisperclick- gnome rogue 2, LG (since donning the helm)
Thelonious- human ranger 2/fighter 1, NG

 

[Brain]

You've been on an update spree lately, I'm loving it!

It's a really common thing for Timothy to step up to protect people. He's developed into a front-line sorcerer, which is somewhat bizarre. If only he had enough sense to hold his dagger and flank with people.

 

[omrob]

If only he had enough sense to hold his dagger and flank with people.

Ahhh but the devastating part of Timothy's protective stance is the dagger torch combo! Especially the roleplayed the knees-bent arms-out stance of ACTION!


Love the Naomi Satyr lovin - i had no idea - looks like this party is getting its own Sybele.

 

[the Jester]

All right, given all this feedback I'm gonna see if I can squeeze out another update before I have to go to work. I'm trying hard to make progress towards being caught up- if one I could get caught up, I'm reasonably certain I could keep caught up!

Fat chance of that, though...