I ran across this one not too long ago...
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I think this hits the nail on the head. The best kind of fight isnt one where half the party is dead, and most of the loot is going to go to raise dead and/or replacements. It is where at the end of the fight all the bad guys are dead, and the party dosent have a healing surge worth of HP between them.
Also, I am another one who thinks that being advisarial to the DM is not really possible and dosent make sense. When I am DMing, if you start playing against me, as opposed to my scenario, then I will quickly show you that you cant win that one.