An old "comical relief" creature I used in an old, old campaign. Might be suitable for the Portale Hole Full of Beer ?
Logom
Small Humanoid
Hit Dice: 1d8-2 (2 hp)
Initiative: +1 (Dex)
Speed: 40ft
AC: 13 (+1 size, +1 Dex, +1 natural)
Attacks: Dagger -2 melee
Damage: Dagger 1d4-2
Face/Reach: 5ft by 5ft/5ft
Special Attacks: None
Special Qualities: Nuts
Saves: Fort +1, Ref +1. Will +0
Abilities: Str 6, Dex 12, Con 7, Int 9, Wis 6, Cha 5
Skills: Hide +2, Move Silently +2
Climate/Terrain: Anywhere
Organization: Single, Pair or Group (4-12)
CR: 1/8
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Chaotic-Neutral
Advancement: 2-3 HD (Small), 4-6 HD (Medium-sized)
The Logom is without a doubt one of the most ugly and worthless creatures of the known universe. They look like a cross between an exceptionally ugly goblin and a kobold. They have long, elongated, hangy noses, slightly yellow skin and too large ears. The reason why Logoms are able of surviving is unknown, as they have no special skills or abilities which helps them stay alive. They have a language of their own, which to most people sounds a little like orcish. It does though have some insectoid clicks in it.
Combat
Logoms cant fight. They die if they try and often they die even when they don’t try. They mostly carry daggers or small, wooden clubs, both which they are absolutely terrible at wielding.
Nuts (Ex): Logoms are, as mentioned above, nuts. They have no clue about things that happens in their surroundings and have a most unusual personality that involves rather rapid changes in mannerism and behaviour. Every 1d6 hours, a Logom must roll d10 to determine which personality they take on. No Logom is ever encountered that is not acting according to one of the below listed personalities.
Logom Nutness Table
1: Male Dwarf Warrior – Logom thinks he’s a brave, valiant Dwarven fighter and his dagger is a mighty axe. Attacks orcs on sight and drinks way to much alcohol.
2: Female Seductress – Logom thinks he’s the most beautiful woman in the world and tries to seduce all men he sees. Most find this rather appalling…
3: Rock – Logom thinks he’s a most uninteresting rock. Will lie still, saying rock sounds (normally “crunch crunch”.. Logoms aren’t well informed on the normal behaviour of rocks)
4: Flumph – Logom thinks he’s a Flumph and will hover about in a creepy, silent manner. Off course, he cant hover and he isn’t silent…
5: Cowboy – For some reason, the Logom thinks he’s a Cowboy. He will attempt to “fire” his dagger as if though it was some sort of futuristic projectile weapon. He hates what he calls “Cattle thieves”. He will use the sentence “Howdy folks” alot.
6: Elven King – Logom thinks he’s a beautiful, mighty elven king. Will walk around, wearing a bag as a cloak and some mud as a crown, commanding any elves he sees to do his bidding.
7: Cloud of non-suspicious air – Logom thinks he’s a patch of clearly normal air. Will do whatever he believes air normally does, hanging around saying “swish swish”. If anyone is walking close to him, he will remind them that air can be walked through and that they are welcome to walk through him.
8: Dragon – Logom thinks he’s a very horrible dragon. He will run around, flapping his arms, spraying fire on innocent bystanders. Breath weapon is in this case mostly spittle.
9: Human Carpenter – Logom thinks he’s an average, working Joe. He will walk around, offer his services to anyone he meets. If no one needs his services, he will begin building a hut or house (which he never completes, since the 1d6 hours run out first)
10: Horse – The Logom thinks he’s a sturdy mount and will allow people to ride him. Many times, when a Horse Logom is encountered, it will be carrying either a Cowboy Logom or an Elven King Logom. Logom are really good at cooperating when they are acting as compatible personalities.
Even though a Logom normally can see the difference between all the races & creatures of the world, there is one exception. They see other Logoms as they creature they think they are, not the creature they truly are.
There exists a rare breed of Logoms, named Reo-Logoms, that truly gain the powers and abilities of the creatures they think they are. They do not gain the appearance or intelligence of these creatures. A Reo-Logom thinking it is a Dragon can use a real Breath Weapon and can fly by flapping its arms rapidly.
Edit: Lowered CR
Logom
Small Humanoid
Hit Dice: 1d8-2 (2 hp)
Initiative: +1 (Dex)
Speed: 40ft
AC: 13 (+1 size, +1 Dex, +1 natural)
Attacks: Dagger -2 melee
Damage: Dagger 1d4-2
Face/Reach: 5ft by 5ft/5ft
Special Attacks: None
Special Qualities: Nuts
Saves: Fort +1, Ref +1. Will +0
Abilities: Str 6, Dex 12, Con 7, Int 9, Wis 6, Cha 5
Skills: Hide +2, Move Silently +2
Climate/Terrain: Anywhere
Organization: Single, Pair or Group (4-12)
CR: 1/8
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Chaotic-Neutral
Advancement: 2-3 HD (Small), 4-6 HD (Medium-sized)
The Logom is without a doubt one of the most ugly and worthless creatures of the known universe. They look like a cross between an exceptionally ugly goblin and a kobold. They have long, elongated, hangy noses, slightly yellow skin and too large ears. The reason why Logoms are able of surviving is unknown, as they have no special skills or abilities which helps them stay alive. They have a language of their own, which to most people sounds a little like orcish. It does though have some insectoid clicks in it.
Combat
Logoms cant fight. They die if they try and often they die even when they don’t try. They mostly carry daggers or small, wooden clubs, both which they are absolutely terrible at wielding.
Nuts (Ex): Logoms are, as mentioned above, nuts. They have no clue about things that happens in their surroundings and have a most unusual personality that involves rather rapid changes in mannerism and behaviour. Every 1d6 hours, a Logom must roll d10 to determine which personality they take on. No Logom is ever encountered that is not acting according to one of the below listed personalities.
Logom Nutness Table
1: Male Dwarf Warrior – Logom thinks he’s a brave, valiant Dwarven fighter and his dagger is a mighty axe. Attacks orcs on sight and drinks way to much alcohol.
2: Female Seductress – Logom thinks he’s the most beautiful woman in the world and tries to seduce all men he sees. Most find this rather appalling…
3: Rock – Logom thinks he’s a most uninteresting rock. Will lie still, saying rock sounds (normally “crunch crunch”.. Logoms aren’t well informed on the normal behaviour of rocks)
4: Flumph – Logom thinks he’s a Flumph and will hover about in a creepy, silent manner. Off course, he cant hover and he isn’t silent…
5: Cowboy – For some reason, the Logom thinks he’s a Cowboy. He will attempt to “fire” his dagger as if though it was some sort of futuristic projectile weapon. He hates what he calls “Cattle thieves”. He will use the sentence “Howdy folks” alot.
6: Elven King – Logom thinks he’s a beautiful, mighty elven king. Will walk around, wearing a bag as a cloak and some mud as a crown, commanding any elves he sees to do his bidding.
7: Cloud of non-suspicious air – Logom thinks he’s a patch of clearly normal air. Will do whatever he believes air normally does, hanging around saying “swish swish”. If anyone is walking close to him, he will remind them that air can be walked through and that they are welcome to walk through him.
8: Dragon – Logom thinks he’s a very horrible dragon. He will run around, flapping his arms, spraying fire on innocent bystanders. Breath weapon is in this case mostly spittle.
9: Human Carpenter – Logom thinks he’s an average, working Joe. He will walk around, offer his services to anyone he meets. If no one needs his services, he will begin building a hut or house (which he never completes, since the 1d6 hours run out first)
10: Horse – The Logom thinks he’s a sturdy mount and will allow people to ride him. Many times, when a Horse Logom is encountered, it will be carrying either a Cowboy Logom or an Elven King Logom. Logom are really good at cooperating when they are acting as compatible personalities.
Even though a Logom normally can see the difference between all the races & creatures of the world, there is one exception. They see other Logoms as they creature they think they are, not the creature they truly are.
There exists a rare breed of Logoms, named Reo-Logoms, that truly gain the powers and abilities of the creatures they think they are. They do not gain the appearance or intelligence of these creatures. A Reo-Logom thinking it is a Dragon can use a real Breath Weapon and can fly by flapping its arms rapidly.
Edit: Lowered CR
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