Open casting call for iconics- Q&A with our adoring fans

[Mialee]

Hey, look who it is!

leans over

Sorry, girl, I just found out about this thing myself. Kinda a spur of the moment press conference, y'know?

Oh... by the way, whatever you hear that I SUPPOSEDLY said about supplement characters, it's taken way out of context and should be ignored. 'Kay?

straightens

Ahem, yes. I believe Iconic selection will be on a first-come first-served basis. I do hope Mr. Cat shows some careful thought where selection is concerned. To be considered:

-That snappy, iconic wit and dialogue
-An understanding of the class and race represented
-The commitment to post every day

We all trust in Mr. Cat's abilities. After all, he's directed some of the greats.

 

[Jack Haggerty]

I see...

Jack jots down a few more notes, and looks back up, raising an eyebrow.

One more question, if you please.

Do you have any comment on the rumors circulating about the recent inactivity of the Iconics.

Specifically, the allegation that, regardless of the information in the official press releases, the Iconics have been on strike for the past two and a half months, while re-negotiating their contracts with Mr. Cat. And that the NeMoren's Vault adventure is only continuing after the greater majority of the Iconic Characters... ahh...

He flips back a few pages in the note book.

Yes here it is... After you, *AHEM*, "Sold Out to the Man," as Mr. Eberk so eloquently put it.

 

[Mialee]

The bald man rapidly whispers into Mialee's elongated ear

This is a preposterous rumor, circulated by Steve Jackson Games propagandists.

Mr. Cat and the Iconics are united in one cause- to provide its readers with the kind of adventure they should be having. We provide a service, you see. Our adventure is as a role-model for a prospective Dungeon Master... he sees it and learns what is good, and, forgive me- iconic in a classic dungeon crawl.

We have not been on strike. We have been concerning ourselves with other projects, waiting for the NeMoren's vault clime to right itself.

I myself just shot a Pepsi commercial. Look for it during sweeps week. Mmm, in fact, I could go for a cold, refreshing Pepsi right now.

bald man hands her one, she turns to the side and drinks slowly, logo showing to the audience

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

 

[Ma'varkith]

"There is no truth to those rumors. While I can't speak for those who control the funding of various non-rulebook aspects of the Third Edition, rest assured that the problems with NeMoren's vault are not monetary in nature."

"Mr. Cat has been involved in other projects - namely a series of written products aimed at bringing Psionics into the spotlight. I myself endorse this move, and fully support his decision."

"We hope to see the return of all the Iconics, but if problems arise, I'm sure they'll be taken care of in the editing room."

"To address the point of 'selling out':"

Ma' pulls a carefully folded sheet of paper from a belt pouch.

"The Iconics, while under contractual obligations to Wizards of the Coast, are free to pursue other projects, so long as they do not compromise the integrity of Wizards' Product Identity."

She puts the paper away and smiles broadly, her facial tattoos shifting into shapes reminiscent of the Nike and AT&T logos.

"I myself have spent the time in training and a short stay in Salt Lake City. Hardly a profit-making venture, but 'bringing home the gold for Greyhawk' can be considered a major victory."

 

[Jack Haggerty]

Jack peers over the tops of his glasses.

Uh huh...

He mutters something under his breath that vaguely sounds like, That's what they all say.

Now, what about this photograph that was published in the Sun-Times last week. Just exactly what were Alhandra, Vadania and Nebin doing with a...

He flips back a few more pages in the notebook.

...um, a familiar, a paladin's "special mount" and an unidentified animal companion in that motel room?

 

[Mialee]

The "magic" of digital photo manipulation software, sir.

Does anyone ELSE have a different, perhaps more positive kind of question for us?

Whispers to bald man again

Find out that man's name, and ban him from all future press conferences. No, and I don't care how many powerful friends he's got. If he asks another damaging question like this I'm going to charm him. See if I don't.

 

[Jack Haggerty]

Blatantly ignoring Mialee's annoyed scowl, Jack pipes up again...

How about the report that Hennet was only recently released from the Betty Ford Clinic after rehabilitation for chronic potion abuse?

 

[DM with a vengence]

What's it like working with people with 6 Charisma, does it get annoying dealing with their lack of social graces and tendency to pick their teeth with large edged weapons?

Also, what about those rumors that Soveliss and Devis 'got the shaft'. How and where did they get shafted, and by who? What the hell is 'the shaft' anyway?

 

[eXodus]

standing up and raising hand

excuse me, miss mialee.

conditioner.

what have you got against it? was your family victims of horrible conditioner attacks and now you are too terrified to condition or even run a brush through your thick, tangled mass of hair?

 

[Alhandra]

[BNow, what about this photograph that was published in the Sun-Times last week. Just exactly what were Alhandra, Vadania and Nebin doing with a...

He flips back a few more pages in the notebook.

...um, a familiar, a paladin's "special mount" and an unidentified animal companion in that motel room? [/B]

As his blasphemous words slide out of his snake-like mouth, a hush falls over the assembly as Alhandra stands behind Jack, her arms crossed in front of her.
The crowd parts, as Jack blathers on and completes his slanderous innuendo before realizing everyone's looking at him, then behind him to try and get him to shut up, for god's sake, man!

As he turns to see the reason why everyone's on pins and needles, the glint off Alhandra's armor momentarily makes him cringe like the worm that he feels like.

Alhandra doesn't say a thing.

She doesn't have to.
Her glare of disapproval is all that is required to have the appropriate effect.