(OT) Advice needed for dealing with older parents and alzheimer's

[Sollir Furryfoot]

Er, this is very much Off Topic. I'm not used to asking other people for help in cases such as this, but I know this community has alot of educated minds browsing it who can probably help me here.

Well, some quick background, I'm the youngest of 3 siblings, still in highschool, and the only one who's living at home. My parents are in their younger 60's, and I'm recently led to believe that they're possibly suffering the initial affected of Alzheimer's (Due to forgetting simple things more than they usually do). This is a real worry to me, obviously, since they're my parents, but also since my grandmother on my mom's side had suffered its effects during her later years and it wasn't pretty. I really don't want to ask my sisters for help, since I know the older one has enough things to worry about, and the younger one would probably just tell me not to worry about it-not to mention they both live a far distance away.

I'm wondering if there's anything relatively mundane (i.e., besides asking them to go see a doctor or some sort of medicine) that could help them stave off the problem in the future. I think I heard that chess is a good game to keep the memory exercised and helps with Alzheimer's a little, but I'm uncertain on that and even then I don't have many other ideas. Advice here would be much appreciated.

Sorry if I'm being ignorant or annoying, but I've just been worried a bit more of late. If this isn't meant for this forum, mods feel free to close it.

 

[Krail Stromquism]

Well, yes its sort of true about chess, but its not really the game chess its the interaction and engagement the people playing are doing.

Are your parents still very active? Still have friends they do stuff with?

To a certain extent theres nothing one can do to stop this disease but keeping a high level of interaction and engagement can be very beneficial.

They seem to think boredom and monotony can make it worse.

I had a good friend that spent the last 9 years of his life looking after his mother and its NOT a burden any single family member should carry by themselves.

Also remember your parents arent getting any younger so they will start to degrade somewhat physically and mentally and thats normal. If you really think its a problem than the best thing you can do is talk to your parents about it. After all its their lives.

I wouldnt worry about it until they do something that puts them in any sort of danger or is really strange. Like getting lost in the neighborhood or just wandering off.

anyhow, hope things turn out the best

 

[Derulbaskul]

Echoing the previous poster's thoughts, it's absolutely vital to help them maintain some interests and also a high level of social interaction. Grandchildren are perfect for this, on both counts.

Actually, I can't stress how important it is for them to spend time with their grandchildren (or even great-grandchildren when the time comes). In watching my 89 year old grandmother deteriorate over the past couple of years, I have noticed that it is memories of personal relationships and particularly visits from (great) grandchildren that she will always be able to bring to mind, even on the same day as she has read the front page of newspaper for about four hours because she keeps forgetting the paragraph she just read.

And pray: don't care whether you're religious or not (and not breaking the board's taboo) but you need the extra help if this starts to happen.

Best,
D

 

[Old One]

Sollir,

I commend your level of concern. Alzheimer's is very tough to diagnose and the vast majority of people still think that forgetfullness is simply a part of the aging process, when it can often be related to Alzheimer's or another type of medical related dementia.

There are two national organizations that can offer some info:

www.asaging.org

www.ncoa.org

In addition, one of the few treatments available for the symptoms of Alzheimer's, Aricept, has a pretty good web-site as well:

www.aricept.com

Good luck...education in this area is the key!

~ Old One

 

[thalmin]

For sure have them see a doctor. Early diagnosis helps.
If the doctor confirms your fears, you must tell your sisters. They have a right, and responsibilty, to know. They may live far away, but frequent phone calls help.
Help keep your P's active, physically and mentally. So far, this disease cannot (I believe) be reversed, but it's progress can be slowed.
Seek out support groups. For yourself.

And anything else the others have said.

Best wishes for you all.

 

[JeffB]

I had a good friend that spent the last 9 years of his life looking after his mother and its NOT a burden any single family member should carry by themselves

I cannot agree with this more, as I've been on that side.

You WILL need help. Bother those siblings of yours. Surround yourselves with people who will listen, and be there for YOU too. After the victim gets to a certain point, the hardest part is keeping the cargivers sane. Having to take care of your Parent as they digress from the mentality of child then to a newborn, is extremely taxing on one's mental state.

Early diagnosis can be helpful..I understand that some of the newer meds are very good..unfortunately for my Father they were too little too late.

 

[Sollir Furryfoot]

Thanks for all the quick response, I really appreciate it.

Heh, no grandchildren yet, and not expecting any for a few years (only my oldest sister is married, and she's the bread earner in the family, so to speak-not much time to be pregnant), but it's certainly a good thought for the future.

Being the age I am, I doubt my parent's would take me seriously if I asked them to see a doctor, and I'd be afraid I'd make them worried, as they're already paranoid enough.

I think i'll go through the information at the websites presented though before I make any decisions. Thanks again

 

[Brother Shatterstone]

I think the chances that both your folks are suffering from Alzheimer's at the same time would be extreme. That being said you can't be careful enough and I'm glad your reading the material provided. Also you might suggest fish for dinner... link

 

[Mark Chance]

Talk to a doctor. Preferably a geriatric psychiatrist.

 

[JRRNeiklot]

First off, make sure they do have Alzheimer's. Becoming forgetful is a part of aging. Hell, I forget a hell of a lot more stuff than I used to and I'm only 35. Of course, my younger years of pickling my brain with alcohol probably contributed to that.

My father has Alzheimer's and he doesn't forget simple things so much. His main problem is starting something and forgetting what the hell he's doing. He'll go outside to get the paper, and by the time he gets to the front porch, he'll forget what he is going after. I've seeen him spend half a day under the lawn mower because he went to change the blade and forgot what he was doing. He knew there was something wrong with it, but he kept forgetting what, so he had to try and diagnose the problem, which he can't because he loses his train of thought. It's hell to live with, because he doesn't realize what he's doing and will deny it and start a fight about it.

Bottom line, get it diagnosed and get the rest of your family in to help. If it turns out they are just getting a bit forgetful with age, better safe than sorry. If not, early diagnosis will get them treatment that much sooner.