(OT) Everybody knows that the world is full of stupid people...
- Thread starter Mouseferatu
- Start date
gamecat
Explorer
Here's two good ways to filter out the stupid... a sort of survival of the competent:
1. All school paste shall have hydrogen cyanide added to it. That will be the end of most Ralph Wiggums.
2. Every street lamp should have a large red button upon it. Above this button is a sign labeled in large red lettering: "DANGER: PRESSING THIS BUTTON WILL KILL YOU." And to no big surprise, pressing it will divert power from the lamp to the electrode in the button, shocking the offending moron to his just demise.
1. All school paste shall have hydrogen cyanide added to it. That will be the end of most Ralph Wiggums.
2. Every street lamp should have a large red button upon it. Above this button is a sign labeled in large red lettering: "DANGER: PRESSING THIS BUTTON WILL KILL YOU." And to no big surprise, pressing it will divert power from the lamp to the electrode in the button, shocking the offending moron to his just demise.
Pielorinho
Iron Fist of Pelor
English is a language comprised of idioms; there's no reason to single this one out.
As for stupidity, here's my favorite:
I work for an animal shelter/animal control nonprofit. One midnight a few years ago, a woman called our emergency officer, very worried.
She'd seen a raccoon out in her yard, drooling and staggering. Fearing that it was sick, she
ahem.
She TIED A STRING AROUND ITS NECK AND BROUGHT IT INTO HER HOUSE, WHERE SHE AND HER KIDS FED IT HOT DOGS.
Yes -- hand-fed this drooling, staggering raccoon hot dogs.
After awhile, it started growling and barking at her; so, with the raccoon still in her house, she called animal control.
Of course, the officer said, "Lady, get that animal out of your house RIGHT NOW!"
So she did: she
ahem.
She PUT IT IN HER CAR, DROVE IT ACROSS TOWN, AND RELEASED IT NEXT TO AN APARTMENT COMPLEX.
Of course, the Health Department made her and her whole family get rabies shots. She called our office and tearfully told me that she would never trust wild animals again: no more would she
ahem.
No more would she CAPTURE WOUNDED RAPTORS AND TAKE THEM HOME AND CARE FOR THEM, IN VIOLATION OF STATE LAW.
What a freakin' nutball. I mean, I get nutball calls about once a week, but nobody has topped her yet.
Daniel
As for stupidity, here's my favorite:
I work for an animal shelter/animal control nonprofit. One midnight a few years ago, a woman called our emergency officer, very worried.
She'd seen a raccoon out in her yard, drooling and staggering. Fearing that it was sick, she
ahem.
She TIED A STRING AROUND ITS NECK AND BROUGHT IT INTO HER HOUSE, WHERE SHE AND HER KIDS FED IT HOT DOGS.
Yes -- hand-fed this drooling, staggering raccoon hot dogs.
After awhile, it started growling and barking at her; so, with the raccoon still in her house, she called animal control.
Of course, the officer said, "Lady, get that animal out of your house RIGHT NOW!"
So she did: she
ahem.
She PUT IT IN HER CAR, DROVE IT ACROSS TOWN, AND RELEASED IT NEXT TO AN APARTMENT COMPLEX.
Of course, the Health Department made her and her whole family get rabies shots. She called our office and tearfully told me that she would never trust wild animals again: no more would she
ahem.
No more would she CAPTURE WOUNDED RAPTORS AND TAKE THEM HOME AND CARE FOR THEM, IN VIOLATION OF STATE LAW.
What a freakin' nutball. I mean, I get nutball calls about once a week, but nobody has topped her yet.
Daniel
