Hi. My name is Kyle. A lot of you will think this is a wierd place to talk to you guys about my problem, but the reason I am is I posted my problems here in the past and the response and support I got from it was so tremendous. I don't really know where else to turn.
When I posted my problems before, it was right after I found out my wife was cheating on my and I had decided to leave her. I moved away from her and my 2 year old son for a few months to regain control of myself. After about 1 year I moved back to be with my son. In that time, I discovered a whole new level of my being. I felt that I had peeled away all the crap that had piled onto me and had become me. What was left was my son. I had realized that above my own self preservation, my son had to come. I moved back and began the best year of my life with Kaleb. I watched him grow and develop and, quite honestly, become a hell of a lightsaber handler thanks to hours of watching Star Wars and practicing. Quite amazing for a 4 year old, really. He was everything in my life.
On June 15th, a police officer came to my door to inform me that my son had been brought to the hospital. He had gone to a water park with his mother earlier that day. When the cop told me that he was at the hospital, I immediatly began to move to get there, but I assured myself that nothing was wrong, like it was simply automatic movement. I took 2 steps and the cop then told me that Kaleb had been brought there by Life Flight. Right then, I knew it was serious. He brought me up to the hospital where a doctor informed me that Kaleb had died. While at the pool, a group of children jumped into the pool together and one of them landed on Kaleb. The lifeguard pulled him out of the water immediately and a Triage nurse worked to revive him until he was flown to the hospital, but he never regained conscienceness.
For the first month after the accident, I kept hoping for the day that the pain started to lessen. I knew it would never fully go away, but I wanted it to lessen just a bit. Let me tell you about the pain. Imagine a blacksmith's hammer hitting you in the chest over and over again. The same rhythm. pound, pound, pound. It was a constant pain. Eventually, the constant pain did lessen, but I've discovered that it is much worse. Instead of the constant rhythmic pain, there is now no pattern to it at all. It hits me at all sorts of different times, no matter what I am doing. It's torture.
I remember one time talking with Kaleb before bed one night. I told him that since he was bigger than a lot of children his age, he had to be careful so he wouldn't hurt them. He looked at me so quizzically and told me in a very stern voice that he wouldn't ever hurt anyone. Except bad guys. He was a super-hero and super-heroes don't hurt anyone besides bad guys.
Anyways, I needed to rant and tell this story and hope that someone out there can give me some advise. Like I said, the help I got out of this forum before has been tremendous and I would appreciate it again. Thank you.
Kyle Kornkven
When I posted my problems before, it was right after I found out my wife was cheating on my and I had decided to leave her. I moved away from her and my 2 year old son for a few months to regain control of myself. After about 1 year I moved back to be with my son. In that time, I discovered a whole new level of my being. I felt that I had peeled away all the crap that had piled onto me and had become me. What was left was my son. I had realized that above my own self preservation, my son had to come. I moved back and began the best year of my life with Kaleb. I watched him grow and develop and, quite honestly, become a hell of a lightsaber handler thanks to hours of watching Star Wars and practicing. Quite amazing for a 4 year old, really. He was everything in my life.
On June 15th, a police officer came to my door to inform me that my son had been brought to the hospital. He had gone to a water park with his mother earlier that day. When the cop told me that he was at the hospital, I immediatly began to move to get there, but I assured myself that nothing was wrong, like it was simply automatic movement. I took 2 steps and the cop then told me that Kaleb had been brought there by Life Flight. Right then, I knew it was serious. He brought me up to the hospital where a doctor informed me that Kaleb had died. While at the pool, a group of children jumped into the pool together and one of them landed on Kaleb. The lifeguard pulled him out of the water immediately and a Triage nurse worked to revive him until he was flown to the hospital, but he never regained conscienceness.
For the first month after the accident, I kept hoping for the day that the pain started to lessen. I knew it would never fully go away, but I wanted it to lessen just a bit. Let me tell you about the pain. Imagine a blacksmith's hammer hitting you in the chest over and over again. The same rhythm. pound, pound, pound. It was a constant pain. Eventually, the constant pain did lessen, but I've discovered that it is much worse. Instead of the constant rhythmic pain, there is now no pattern to it at all. It hits me at all sorts of different times, no matter what I am doing. It's torture.
I remember one time talking with Kaleb before bed one night. I told him that since he was bigger than a lot of children his age, he had to be careful so he wouldn't hurt them. He looked at me so quizzically and told me in a very stern voice that he wouldn't ever hurt anyone. Except bad guys. He was a super-hero and super-heroes don't hurt anyone besides bad guys.
Anyways, I needed to rant and tell this story and hope that someone out there can give me some advise. Like I said, the help I got out of this forum before has been tremendous and I would appreciate it again. Thank you.
Kyle Kornkven
