FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
IN MEMORIAM
Australian Test Cricket, 1989-2003
Steve Waugh's baggy green cap was today cremated, and its ashes placed in an urn, to mark the death of Australian test cricket.
The solemn occasion took place following Australia's comprehensive defeat by 225 runs at the hands of England, in the fifth and final Test of the 2002/3 Ashes series. The ceremony was witnessed by several Australian veterans from past Ashes battles, including Allan Border, Ian Chappell, and Merv Hughes' moustache.
"Those stingy buggers at the MCC won't give us the original Ashes, so we thought we’d make our own," said a spokesperson for the Australian Cricket Board.
"It was originally going to mark the death of Steve Waugh's Test career, but then he had to spoil everything by racking up a century," he said.
Other contents of the urn will include Glenn McGrath's bat and Adam Gilchrist's gloves.
An MCC spokesperson scoffed at suggestions that the home of English cricket should have handed the urn over. "Alec Stewart outscoring Langer, Hayden, Ponting and Martyn put together says it all, really."
Stewart was unavailable for comment, a staffmember at the Royal Surrey Geriatic Care Center saying that the veteran wicketkeeper/batsman was having his regular afternoon nap and did not wish to be disturbed.
Meanwhile, in a written statement released to journalists earlier today, 10 Downing St firmly denied reports that Nasser Hussain was being considered to lead up Cherie Blair’s PR team. "He's good, but not THAT good", concluded the statement.
IN MEMORIAM
Australian Test Cricket, 1989-2003
Steve Waugh's baggy green cap was today cremated, and its ashes placed in an urn, to mark the death of Australian test cricket.
The solemn occasion took place following Australia's comprehensive defeat by 225 runs at the hands of England, in the fifth and final Test of the 2002/3 Ashes series. The ceremony was witnessed by several Australian veterans from past Ashes battles, including Allan Border, Ian Chappell, and Merv Hughes' moustache.
"Those stingy buggers at the MCC won't give us the original Ashes, so we thought we’d make our own," said a spokesperson for the Australian Cricket Board.
"It was originally going to mark the death of Steve Waugh's Test career, but then he had to spoil everything by racking up a century," he said.
Other contents of the urn will include Glenn McGrath's bat and Adam Gilchrist's gloves.
An MCC spokesperson scoffed at suggestions that the home of English cricket should have handed the urn over. "Alec Stewart outscoring Langer, Hayden, Ponting and Martyn put together says it all, really."
Stewart was unavailable for comment, a staffmember at the Royal Surrey Geriatic Care Center saying that the veteran wicketkeeper/batsman was having his regular afternoon nap and did not wish to be disturbed.
Meanwhile, in a written statement released to journalists earlier today, 10 Downing St firmly denied reports that Nasser Hussain was being considered to lead up Cherie Blair’s PR team. "He's good, but not THAT good", concluded the statement.
