[OT] It's only a dolphin

[Emiricol]

"With lasers on their heads. Is that too much to ask?"

 

[Sonny]

Ah..right...um...

AHHHHHHHH!!! They're coming to kill us all!! Mutant sharks that just look like dolphins! AHHH!!!!


...better?

Good enough. Now come over here and receive your complimentry yellow stripe*.






* Guaranteed to fit even the hairiest of backs.

 

[Angcuru]

At least you have sea life. In any case, if any sharks tried to get NEAR the Jersey Shore, they'd die of sewage poisoning. Natural defense mechanism for us, don't y'know?

To quote George Carlin:
"When I was a little boy, we swam in the Hudson River, and it was filled with Raw Sewage. We swam in raw sewage, you know, TO COOL OFF. When polio cam around, no one in my neighborhood ever got polio, you know why? BECAUSE WE SWAM IN RAW SEWAGE! It strengthened our immune systems! The polio never had a prayer. We were tempered in raw sh*t! My immune system is equipped with the biological equivalet of fully automatic assault rifles with night vision and lazer scopes. And we have recently acquired phosphorus grenades, cluster bombs, and anti-personnel fragmentation mines. SO when my white blood cells are on patrol reconnoitering my blood stream, seeking out strangers and other undesireables, if they see any, ANY suspicious-looking germs of any kind, they DON'T F*CK AROUND! They whip out the weapons, wax the mother f*cker and deposit the unlucky fellow directly into my colon! There's no nonsense, there's no miranda warning, none of that three strikes and you're out sh*t...First offense, BAM! Into the colon you go!"

 

[Wolf72]

I have that on CD, it's wonderful!

 

[Seonaid]

Heh, I must be too Floridian. I see that and just kind of "Yeah...its a dolphin...what's so scary about it?"

Hm, me too, but I'm not from Florida . . . Can I be Floridian if the longest amount of (consecutive) time I spent there was less than 3 full months?

 

[Ankh-Morpork Guard]

Hm, me too, but I'm not from Florida . . . Can I be Floridian if the longest amount of (consecutive) time I spent there was less than 3 full months?

Hmm....well....Yes.

 

[Tonguez]

*raises hand* Well...um...first thing you should always do is look at the tail. I wouldn't crap my pants. I like dolphins.

Yes well I too can see that its a dolphin too - easy to do when safely dry and on my computer

Now a moving shadow when I'm floating out on the water - personally I'm not looking for its tail, I'm looking for its teeth!

 

[Krieg]

Wanna get a real thrill? Go scuba off the SoCal coast. Then look up & watch all the sharks between you and the surfers.

 

[Mark Chance]

Heh, I must be too Floridian. I see that and just kind of "Yeah...its a dolphin...what's so scary about it?"

Oh, how little you know and suspect. Don't you ever watch TV? TV tells everything that is true.

Dolphin: Snorky...talk..man :: coughs :: I'm sorry let me start over, years ago dolphins lived on the land -

Moe: What did he just say?

Carl: He said dolphins used to live on land.

Moe: Whhhaaaa!?

Dolphin: Then your ancestors drove us into the sea, where we've suffered for millions of years.

Marge: But you seemed so happy in the ocean, all that playfull leaping...

Dolphin: We were trying to get out, it's cold and wet, every morning I wake up flemmy.

Fear the dolphins! Fear them!

 

[Ankh-Morpork Guard]

Fear the dolphins! Fear them!

Nooo nooo. Don't fear us. Love us. We don't want to kill you....just to eat your souls...erm...um...I mean...*runs*