(OT) Literature Abusers

[Wicht]

How many of these apply to me? Let us see...

1. I have read fiction when I was depressed, or to cheer myself up.
Guilty.

2. I have gone on reading binges of an entire book or more in a day.
Is there any other way to read?

3. I read rapidly, often 'gulping' chapters.
I actually read very rapidly. Takes me one day to read a single Robert Jordan novel. Of course I don't get much else done that day.

4. I have sometimes read early in the morning or before work.
And late at night. And after lunch. And while I am working...

5. I have hidden books in different places to sneak a chapter without being seen. Well not since high school. Being one's own boss means no more having to sneak books to school to read during class.

6. Sometimes I avoid friends or family obligations in order to read novels.
Not intentionally. Well not that often intentionally...

7. Sometimes I re-write film or television dialog as the characters speak.
If the script writers did a better job I wouldn't be force to do this.

11. I have neglected personal hygiene or household chores until I have finished a novel.
Hmmm... Wash the dishes or read a book...

12. I have spent money meant for necessities on books instead.
At the beginning of each month I buy books. If I have anything left over I spend it on food and clothing.

13. I have attempted to check out more library books than permitted.
Guilty again.

15. I have sometimes passed out from a night of heavy reading.
Never passed out before but I have found myself awake two hours before dawn just finishing my evenings reading.

17. I have wept, become angry or irrational because of something I read.
Wept certainly. Every time Frodo leaves the shire for the last time on the boats I just can't help it....

19. Sometimes I think my reading is out of control.
My wife certainly does at times

 

[s/LaSH]

What's worse is that some children are afflicted from an early age, often by their parents. I confess I was led down the dark path of literature abuse since before I can remember. Soon I was eclipsing even my parents in my voracity, and our house is filled with thousands of tomes - there was no end in sight.

Today, I still read, but thanks to healthy things like exercise and work I haven't had the time to read more than a few books a week. Take heart! With a little willpower and some worthy distractions, you can better yourself!

Now excuse me. I gotta go finish Red Alert 2. The tanks call me...

 

[Seonaid]

::dramatic sobbing:: It's so good to finally know that . . . that I am not alone! All this time I thought it was me, but now, thanks to you, I realize it's not my fault. My parents were the ones who started it, and the pressure to get a "liberal education" was just too much for me! I admit it, I do! Even though I am less than a semester away from graduation, I know it's not too late to change my major from English to [insert technical major of your choice]! I don't know if the Tom Clancy treatment will work, though. I've actually managed to get through more than one of his novels! But I take heart--knowing I suffer with others will be all the solace I need to get through the hard part of this recovery--the rest of my life!

Sorry for any incoherency. I'm just so overwhelmed. ::brushes tear from eye::

 

[Shadowdancer]

Stop me, before I read again.

 

[DM with a vengence]

Legalize Literature.

The harmful effects of reading have been grossly mistated. Most of the side-effects of reading come from associating with criminal literature addicts, such as English Professors, Messageboard denzians, Librarians, and the dreaded Waldenbooks Clerk, or 'pusher'.

If users of literature are careful to stay away from such people, then they pose no harm to themselves or others, as long as they conduct their reading at home.

Remember, books don't kill people, people burn books!

 

[jonesy]

Hi all, my name is jonesy and I read. Yes, I admit it, I'm a read-a-holic.