[OT, Personal] I don't know what to do....

[jaerdaph]

I'm really sorry to hear that, Wolfspider. You're doing the right thing by reaching out, though - it helps to talk about it. Try talking to your friends, siblings, and parents as well, face to face or on the phone.

My advice based on a similar situation in my life is this - I know the biggest question on your mind right now is "why?". Don't try to get an answer from her tonight, tomorrow, or even next week. Give your emotions some time to settle down. Also, be prepared not to get an answer at all, even though you deserve one. By giving yourself time before approaching the subject, it makes it that much easier if you don't.

Time heals all wounds. You have to keep reminding yourself that you won't feel as bad as you do now in a week, a month, or a year. In a decade, it will be a distant memory.

Hang in there, buddy

 

[UniversalMonster]

Feel your feelings and drive on. I don't suggest doing anything- this has obviously been worked up over a while. Do you still have all of your friends? Sometimes when we lose the relationship with the spouse-person, we end up losing all of our friends. If thats the case.. get some new friends, pronto. Start a new D&D group or something.

Taking a significant loss like this is hard, but it isn't the end of the world. There are (in fact) other girls and other possibilities. And hey, this is a chance for you to work on yourself.

The first time I got hammered by something like this- I was in a flood, lost relationship, most of my belongings, and a dog.. Know what I did? Well- long story short- I joined the Army. I had some of the best years of my life as an overeducated specialist (I already had a degree and I was 27 by the time I went to Basic Training).. in the MI Corps. I even met my new wife at Language School! It was a real adventure. Anyhow, think about it. The military needs smart people now more than ever.

If you are hurting in a way thats making you go mental of course, that might not be for you.

If you feel like you are losing your mind, see a doctor. I took about 6 significant losses like this in a row around the time I got out of the Army last year, (and September 11) and I ended up on Paxil, diagnosed with PTSD, social anxiety and depression.

And I didn't go to the doctor until March.

Things are bad. They can get worse. They can get better. I am so much better now than I was even in February. And February was miles above where I was in November.

And in this case, I saved my life, and saved my marriage. Your'e at a crossroads now, but you'll be fine. Just hang in there.

 

[GravyFingerz]

Im sorry to hear of your loss

I seperated from someone I loved very much as well, not too long ago

Just remember, it could bd worse

you could be dead

 

[Paladin]

*bump* We have dueling sympathy threads! This one must win!! (Yes, I'm bored.)

 

[kenjib]

Heck, I find true love at least twice every time I go to a nudie bar. Unfortunately, she never feels the same way.

Hmmm...I believe you're thinking of Trudy Love, not true love.

 

[Piratecat]

I just tried to merge the two threads, and the boards timed out - it's possible that one whole thread crashed and burned. Aargh! Need more memory... Wolfspider, I'm terribly sorry about your girlfriend. Leaving a note is cowardly, and you dererve better. I'm thinking of you, man.

- Kevin

 

[Karl Green]

I will add my bump to the "very sorry" group. All I can say is keep your chin up and know that it will get better.

Oh a personal note, about 5 years ago a woman I was living with for 2 years did the same thing. She "needed space" she said. Mostly it boiled down to the fact that she felt she had never been "on her own" and she needed to... and she wanted to date others... boy did that blow. I was very sad and felt sorry for myself for a long time. I filled my time with A LOT of gaming (I had a game going about 4-5 nights a week). Then I meet my current wife online about a 2 years ago... we got married within a year and have been REALLy happy ever sense. Moral of the story is that while it really sucked to have my live-in GF leave me, it turned out to be the very best thing for me as I meet Nancy

 

[Hoju]

Solution to all of life's problems

Solution to all of life's problems...

1) Find dude on the street.
2) Kick him in the junk.
3) Steal his wallet.
4) Spend all his money/credit cards/etc on beer and strippers.
5) Repeat as neccesary.

Just remember the famous Monty Python line,

I like chinese, they only come up to you knees...
I mean....
Always look on the bright side of life!


[EDIT] Changed spelling of Monte to Monty, must resist brainwashing by Monte with an E [/edit]

 

[The Allamistako]

No words.

*Sympathetic cuddle*

-Alla

 

[Darkness]

I... don't know what to say that others haven't said already...

I feel for you, bro, and I wish you the best - despite this all.

/hugs Wolfspider.