[OT] Stupid stupid life

[MythandLore]

But now I´ve lost that spark that helped me through all the troubles and when I think about my future.....I´m afraid.Very afraid.

If you've lost it you just have to go out and find it again.
You can do it, I'm sure you can.
Don't be afraid of your future, theres no reason to be scared, there's no impending doom on the world, even if there was just worrying wont help.
What part of your future are you so afraid of?
You can get another job or another boy friend.
But what do you really want, that's more important.
What is it that you want in life?
More then want, need, what do you need in your life?
Do you have it?
What is it, what is it that you really need?
What do you need in your future?
What do you need to be happy, what do you need to live, what do you need to enjoy life?
I know your a strong enough person to go on and find what you need.
I don't think you need a boy friend or a job to do that.

 

[MythandLore]

I second Myth's advice. It's hard to cope when everything seems to be falling apart at once. Take a little time to pamper yourself and let your friends and family know you need them.

I always like't to go out and watch the sky from a park, just sip a warm cup of cider, watch the people walk by.
Just enjoy the clouds, or stars, or wind, or sunset, listen to the wind rattle leaves, watch the tree branches sway, watch and listen to the water run down a stream.
Just Little things, I seem to like them much more.

You know it is important to cry though, it's not a bad thing when you've been hurt, it's okay to cry.

 

[Andrea Mayfair]

Well, losing a job is not so important,as long as I get a new rooomate to pay for the rent. But that won´t be till next month and as a last resource I could return to my parents house.

I had a cousin who was 16 years old. He was a horse trainer.Have you seen those festivals from Spain where riders do really wonderful tricks with their horses? He was one of them,he had a gift with horses,perhaps because he was really stubborn,perhaps because of his love for them.Horses were his passion. What he loved most . The only thing he couldn´t live without. And now...

I can´t understand why someone with such a directed course of life had to die so young.Most of us (specially me) don´t know what are we going to do with our lives,but a gifted few seem to know what are they here for.It´s what the´re best at.What they love most.
And then he died.
He was the only one(besides my exboyfriend) I could freely talk with about my feelings despite his age we were always best friends.
And now both are gone.

 

[Andrea Mayfair]

Originally posted by Mythanlore:
____________________________________________
If you've lost it you just have to go out and find it again.
You can do it, I'm sure you can.
Don't be afraid of your future, theres no reason to be scared, there's no impending doom on the world, even if there was just worrying wont help.
What part of your future are you so afraid of?
You can get another job or another boy friend.
But what do you really want, that's more important.
What is it that you want in life?
More then want, need, what do you need in your life?
Do you have it?
What is it, what is it that you really need?
What do you need in your future?
What do you need to be happy, what do you need to live, what do you need to enjoy life?
I know your a strong enough person to go on and find what you need.
I don't think you need a boy friend or a job to do that.
______________________________________________

Thank you Myth. THANKS everybody.

But, I don´t know what I want in life,I´ve lost half of my close friends(they were "his" friends and because of him I´ve lost contact with most of the people I once knew and those few left aren´t so close to me).And about the last part....well....right now I´m not so sure I don´t need him

 

[madriel]

I've always envied those rare people who found their passion in life at a young age and knew exactly what they wanted to do with their life. Some of us take longer to find our dreams or can't make them come true as soon as we would wish. In the end, we all need to appreciate the fact that we exist.

Feeling like you're all alone is the hardest part. Talk to your parents about how much you miss your cousin. Reminiscing might help. If you don't feel comfortable talking to anybody you currently know, I'd suggest asking your family doctor or guidance counsellor (if you're still in school) to recommend somebody you can talk to. My parents had an ugly divorce and talking to the therapist at school helped me. She didn't know the people involved so we just talked about my feelings and what I needed to get through things, rather than how everybody else was feeling about it.

 

[MythandLore]

Well, losing a job is not so important,as long as I get a new rooomate to pay for the rent. But that won´t be till next month and as a last resource I could return to my parents house.

I had a cousin who was 16 years old. He was a horse trainer.Have you seen those festivals from Spain where riders do really wonderful tricks with their horses? He was one of them,he had a gift with horses,perhaps because he was really stubborn,perhaps because of his love for them.Horses were his passion. What he loved most . The only thing he couldn´t live without. And now...

I can´t understand why someone with such a directed course of life had to die so young.Most of us (specially me) don´t know what are we going to do with our lives,but a gifted few seem to know what are they here for.It´s what the´re best at.What they love most.
And then he died.
He was the only one(besides my exboyfriend) I could freely talk with about my feelings despite his age we were always best friends.
And now both are gone.

That's really horrible.
Despite what happend you need to go on though.
Is there a point to life?
I don't know.
But I do know you should try to enjoy it while were here.
I understand the two people you confided yourself in are not there to help you, but there are other people to talk to.
You'll find them, carring people are out there.
People who want to help, I'm sorry I'm on the other side of the world so I really can't.
What happend to your cousin you can't do anything about now, but at least remeber your cousin was doing what he loved before he past away.
Is there anything you love to do?
Maybe you should something with that.
Sorry I really really really need to go right now, but I will be on latter (in like 5 hours) to see if you feel any diffrent.

 

[BiggusGeekus]

Andrea,

Any loss is a serious attack on the psyche. I have nothing but the utmost sympathy having gone through one of those times in life when absolutely everything went wrong. I swear, the only reason my dog wasn't hit by a car was because I didn't have a dog.

My personal advice which you are free to accept or ignore as you please: Live the life your cousin would wish for you. Resign yourself to the fact that most people aren't meant to be lifemates, and treat the farewell before Valentine's Day as nothing more than the ultimate trump on ex-boyfriend stories. And know that feeling is better than not feeling at all.

As trite as it may sound, I'd advise a week or two of self-indulgent misery (hey, you gotta let it out) followed by something new. My personal suggestions of "something new" are typically banal and include softball or jazz. It sounds stupid -- and in a lot of ways it is stupid -- but sometimes a change can help.

Good luck and feel free to keep us posted.

BG

 

[Andrea Mayfair]

THANKS

Mythandlore,madriel,Biggus Geekus,Ranger Wickett and Cold Beer, thank you.

I really couldn´t go to bed feeling so bad ,not that I want to go to bed alone now,but now at least I know for sure that there are people thousands of miles away from me,people I´ve never met, that care (even if it´s just a bit) about some stranger´s feelings.

Thanks.That´s what I needed.

Andrea

 

[TalonComics]

Hey Andrea,

I hear you and know exactly how you feel.
The advice that everyone hears and doesn't always believe is that it does eventually get better. Yeah, pain will mark you for the rest of your life but when you eventually overcome it you can use the pain to learn and to grow as a person.

Just take care and know when things get really bad that you're not really alone.

~Derek

 

[Dr Midnight]

I myself am having a pretty blue time these days. There's no one big thing, and I'm not what you'd call depressed, but there's a big gray cloud all around my horizon.

A lot of things aren't what they should be right now.

Overweight, and therefore unattractive.

My ex-girlfriend is making certain I know all about her new boyfriend, and it's turning out that she's a bigger crazy every day. Always hearing some new "So you didn't know she was doing (blank) behind your back??"

No current girlfriend and no prospects whatsoever, despite feeling terribly lonely.

I have an okay job. It's just terribly boring and will take me nowhere.

The friends I've made here are inexplicably turning a bit cold to me, which is bad since I've just signed another year-long lease to remain in R.I..

New apartment is smaller, crappier, smells funny, and lonely.

So- nothing's horrible, but everything's gray and dim enough to keep me wondering if things aren't going to get better.

Arrrgh.