PCs dealing with sexuality

[haakon1]

closeness tends to get handwaved as a "she's my teammate/a fellow rogue" thing, or "she's saved my life more than once" (which both of us have done for the other).

Nod, and that works well for a lot of campaigns where the focus is on the adventure, not role playing and character development. As in, the setting isn't fused about the issue, and the actual players don't care much about what the characters do outside of the dungeon.

Kinda reminds me of a buddy cop action movie -- there might be a hint of something more than just buddies (especially in the scriptwriter is having fun messing with the genre), but for the most part, the audience doesn't care if the innuendo is true or not.

 

[SnowleopardVK]

Nod, and that works well for a lot of campaigns where the focus is on the adventure, not role playing and character development.

Ah, but in our case the focus actually is roleplaying and character development. That's how we handwave it to some of the more prejudiced NPCs is what I meant.

 

[was]

Not in my group...straight, gay, bi, into animals..doesn't matter, it's not part of our game. Explore your sexuality/deal with your gender identity issues on your own time. We come to game, not hold a forum on social inequities in modern society.

 

[Dannager]

It is not often explored in a game because sexuality is the subject of some really heavy drama in the real world. The sort of drama that works best in a game like D&D is either light drama, or drama that is far-fetched (or both). Simply put, if the topic of drama has the potential to cause a player to break down in the middle of game (and this topic has that potential for some), it's best left out of game.

 

[Mallus]

Our campaigns have featured a few gay, bi, and, recently, trans characters, but they were all very much already out. In general, my friends prefer, ahem, bold characterization, and therefore not PCs engaged in more subtle, inwardly-directed journeys of self-discovery.

If our PCs "discover" something during the course of a campaign, it's usually their inner batsh*t tendencies (as in, "with great power, comes greater batsh*t lunacy).

The possible exception to this is my current Pathfinder character, who's in a more... straightforward campaign. I hadn't intended to make her a lesbian, but after rolling randomly using the patented Kinsey Die (1d8-1 for her Kinsey Scale rating), it was determined she's completely homosexual.

I'm trying to play her subtly, as a gay woman from a culture with nothing like contemporary (US) sexual identity politics. She's divorced, without ever quite figuring out what went wrong in her marriage, comfortable with who she's attracted to, but slightly ashamed she didn't have, and doesn't want, children, which is important in her culture.

She does have a running joke, but it has nothing to do with her orientation -- she's a 5'11, 105llbs. elven women, so she considers virtually every non-elf woman, "fat".

 

[S'mon]

In general, my friends prefer, ahem, bold characterization, and therefore not PCs engaged in more subtle, inwardly-directed journeys of self-discovery...

...I'm trying to play her subtly, as a gay woman from a culture with nothing like contemporary (US) sexual identity politics...

IME with a typical action-adventure game RPG, realistically-portrayed lesbian characters are particularly hard to make an impact in play. Where it's easy to make a flamboyant gay male (N)PC's sexuality obvious, the sexuality of that rather dour, plate-armoured female Fighter (N)PC probably will never come up at all, unless maybe she has a life partner, which very few PCs do at the start of play. One approach is the fanservice Xena/Gabrielle type innuendo, or those lesbian stripper ninjas that are apparently so popular, but personally I like a bit of realistic human psychology in my human (N)PCs, and realistically a high proportion of female Fighters (and other 'warrior' classes) are likely to bat for the other team... and they won't be wearing chainmail bikinis, either.

 

[Cor Azer]

It is not often explored in a game because sexuality is the subject of some really heavy drama in the real world. The sort of drama that works best in a game like D&D is either light drama, or drama that is far-fetched (or both). Simply put, if the topic of drama has the potential to cause a player to break down in the middle of game (and this topic has that potential for some), it's best left out of game.

It does depend heavily on the mood/theme of the game, for sure. Dungeon crawlin' fools may not worry as much, but in court-based intrigue games, these sorts of things factor in greatly in backroom dealings.

Setting matters too - my ASoIaF game has several gender and sexuality issues/characters; no PCs (that I know of), but there are several gay, lesbian, bi, and crossdressing characters - and in a game dealing with marriages and inheritances, these issues can weigh heavily.

 

[kitsune9]

So has anyone else here played a PC through those times? How did it go?

I personally don't roleplay out any characters' sexuality regardless of what it is, though I've included it as backstory (my character is currently married, or my character has loved one back in X village, blah, blah, blah).

In my last campaign, one of the players roleplayed a bisexual and did it nonchalantly, wasn't played for laughs and wasn't played for emotional effect either--just backstory or like buying equipment.

In another campaign, the DM had an NPC who was a lesbian that was part of her character, but again, wasn't played for laughs, just backstory.

 

[Celebrim]

For most people, their sexuality isn't really a central part of their identity that they are working through, much less something that they want to work out in public or explore at the game table. So in many cases, I think that this is simply something that they don't think about. I mean, you are saying that you find it odd (or sad) that homosexuals are played in certain ways in games, but in general in most games I've been in sexuality has not been a center stage issue for any character and whenever it has come up in any form, its usually played for laughs.

For most people at the table, this probably as seriously as you can take the issue without making most people uncomfortable. If the player of the hetrosexual player seemed to want to get serious about his sexuality at the table, it would probably creep people out. As a DM, I've had several players - male and female - develop crushes on my NPC's, but if I ever felt that those players - male or female - wanted to seriously play out a sexual attraction or a sexual issue at the table, it would creep me out. It's just too intimate of a topic combined with too intimate of a setting. Things get mixed up, which is why most female gamers don't want their guy friends characters hitting on their characters (without prior OOC permission, and generally that comes with OOC romance as well).

I understand that for some people this is a central issue of their identity and something that they struggle with and have had to struggle with and so playing out those issues seems to be a natural part deepening the meaning and relevancy of their characterization. But honestly I think that's unusual. Maybe not rare per se; I've had several gay players, but its not usual. And really, I've never seen them work sexuality at the table for anything but a joke either.

 

[Quickleaf]

[MENTION=6677945]SnowleopardVK[/MENTION]
Just caught up on this thread and at first glance it seemed a little silly (who wants that much drama in a game?), I think you had a very intelligent observation and I'm sorry to say I dismissed it too quickly.

I used to game with a bi-sexual lady who played a bi character who was more bloodthirsty than anything else, my last campaign was with a straight couple who gender-swapped as a twist on their marital dynamic and switched between comic and dramatic, and now game with a gay man whose PC is gay but it's mainly in the background like the rest of our PCs' sexuality. None of these people played a LGBT character who was conflicted or struggling with being outed.

I'm sure they all had struggles with their sexuality (yes even the straight couple) at some point, but when we gather around be game table we just have too much fun to get deeply into psychological issues. Which is funny cause here I am as a straight guy and I am fascinated by those sorts of character-defining struggles; with the right group I would welcome that sort of deep character study (regarding sexuality or any other inner conflicts) as a breath of fresh air.

My limited experience with any sexual issues in an RPG came through my namesake elven ranger, but while a well developed character he was immensely comic and his bi-sexuality was caught up in that. Actual bi-sexual isn't entirely accurate cause he also spoke of "making love to the alders, the meadows, the autumn breeze, and the elk spirits"... Maybe just 'sexual'? The character was a lot of fun, I had to reign myself in not to distract us from the quest and the DM's world.