PETA Releases Three New Dungeons & Dragons Subclasses

PETA (yes, that PETA) has released a new 5E supplement containing three new subclasses that embody the organization's stance towards animals. Today, PETA released a new free-to-use supplement containing 5E compatible subclasses for the Paladin, Ranger, and Druid. The new subclasses include the Oath of Animal Liberation Paladin, the Warden of the Wild Ranger and the Circle of Empathy Druid. Obviously, with this being PETA, the subclasses focus on the ethical treatment of animals (including not using animals as a source of food or labor), and general attempts to empathize with other living beings.

PETA has often mocked, spoofed, or criticized games that don't adhere to their ethical standards, often in grotesque and graphic ways. However, this D&D subclass supplement is actually very uplifting by comparison and generally follows 5E (2014) power scaling.

There's also two new spells, one of which opens any cages or bindings on animals, and the other of which gives a literal crimson mark to those "who hunt or otherwise harm animals."

You can check out the new subclasses over on PETA's website.

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[occam]

One PETA shelter in Virginia euthanized 2500+ animals last year.

Providing context:

PETA has euthanized tens of thousands of animals, according to data filed with the state of Virginia, but said that is to be expected with its open-door policy of taking in many animals no one else would accept.

 

[Enevhar Aldarion]

Wait, is today April 1st?

 

[Steampunkette]

On to the Paladin:

Channel Divinity gets 2 options. Grant "Beast's Fury" to yourself or an ally +1d6 damage on attacks and any struck target must make a save or be frightened until the end of their next turn. Lasts 1 minute.

Pretty solidly OP.

Option 2, Sanctuary of the Innocent. Create a 30ft area in which all nonhostile beings are immune to all damage for 1 minute. While it says "Nonhostile beings" it later specifies animals, so that's... weird. Guess you can't protect hostile animals or innocent children or anything. Still. Anything that makes every (insert thing here) immune to damage within 30ft at level 3 is pretty solidly broken.

Expanded spell list, pretty standard. Scrying is a weird choice for 5th level, but eh.

6th level Guardian's Refuge. You and friendly beings within 10ft gain resistance from "Smaller beasts and monstrosities" qualified as CR 3 or less. Also grant immunity to Fear for animals within your permanent aura. Weirdly, paladins don't get a subclass feature at 6th.

Really more weird than anything. Still. Stops the Druid from terrifying chipmunks for what it's worth.

Unburden the Beasts at 7th. 30ft radius aura that stops people from using animals for riding, carrying loads, or engaging in combat. But doubles the carrying capacity of the humanoids to allow them to carry the loads, themselves. Practically pointless except to try and make a political statement.

Whispers of the Wild at 10. Permanent Speak with Animals and telepathy for animals withing 60ft. This is practically a ribbon but weird since Paladins don't GET a 10th level feature from their subclass.

At 14th level they get "Humanoid Handling". As a reaction to a humanoid within 60ft of you taking an action to harm an animal you can force them to make a Wisdom Save or waste their action not harming the action.

All in all, a super underpowered subclass, even as it gains pointless abilities outside of when a paladin normally gains subclass abilities.

 

[Charlaquin]

Once I learned that PETA spends a lot of their time and effort murdering people's pets I stopped giving a damn about them.

About 10% of dogs and cats remanded to public and private shelters are killed, nationwide, due to medical issues, behavioral issues, or because they age out of the system and it's horrible and I -hate- it.

PETA's shelters kill 80% of all animals that go into their shelters.

This is because they don't think animals should be pets, which is a weird position but whatever. So they euthanize most of the ones they bring in so they won't be people's pets.

If your dog gets out of the yard and someone drops it off at a PETA shelter your dog will -probably- be dead before you can get there. They'll give you the collar and then berate you as you grieve.

Please do not support PETA. They -suck-.

Yeah, PETA is awful. Anyone genuinely interested in the safety of animals would do better to support animal welfare organizations rather than animal rights organizations like PETA.

 

[Steampunkette]

Providing context:

Providing context:

PETA took in a girl's chihuahua in a "wild animal roundup" and killed it the same day, even though Virginia requires a 5 day minimum wait before an animal is killed. They settled the lawsuit for $49,000 with the girl's parents and paid a $500 fine to the state of Virginia.

This is neither the first nor the last time they've done so.

 

[Charlaquin]

In before people dogpile on PETA. Non-vegans always feel obliged to give advice to vegans on how to attract people to the vegan cause, to laughably limp results.

Veganism is great. PETA is not, and not because they oppose eating animals, but because they’re genuinely a terrible organization that does more harm to animals than good.

 

[Umbran]

Mod Note:

Full disclosure: I am married to a veterinarian. I sure have my own opinions on PETA.

Trying to set those aside for the moment - PETA's primary activities are political advocacy. But on this site, we aren't supposed to talk about politics.

Until or unless Morrus tells me otherwise, I'm closing this discussion thread as an attractive nuisance.