MGibster
Legend
Because there's a big difference between something you dislike and something that induces an anxiety attack.What’s the meaningful distinction?
Because there's a big difference between something you dislike and something that induces an anxiety attack.What’s the meaningful distinction?
Same thing.Is this about protecting people with sensitivities or about protecting people with anxiety issues?
Sure how it is fine matters. If I am gaming with a GM who starts describing it like a 12 year old who is titillated by the violence, then probably not going to continue playing with them after that session (unless the campaign is incredibly good otherwise).I think it depends on how it’s depicted. Like, a witch waving her wand and turning someone into a frog with a puff of smoke, or a person’s hair, nails, and canines growing? Yeah, those are pretty tame. On the other hand, a visceral description of flesh tearing, bones cracking, and organs re-arranging themselves as someone’s whole body structure is violently forced into a new shape? That’ll make a lot of people physically ill to hear.
Now me, I love body horror! I actually like to crank it up on Mind Flayers; rather than the whole body being turned into a purple Cthulhu-monster, I like to describe them as walking corpses with four tentacles that erupted through the front of the skull. But I check in with players about their comfort level with body horror before I use mind flayers, cause I know that imagery could seriously upset people who aren’t prepared for it.
That isn’t the argument I am making. I am saying those are very different arguments. If it is about fun, versus mental health, that changes the bar (invoking mental health makes it a more urgent issue)Interesting to see the argument that this is ok if it’s about defending fun, but not ok if it’s about protecting people with sensitivities.
I think it depends on how it’s depicted. Like, a witch waving her wand and turning someone into a frog with a puff of smoke, or a person’s hair, nails, and canines growing? Yeah, those are pretty tame. On the other hand, a visceral description of flesh tearing, bones cracking, and organs re-arranging themselves as someone’s whole body structure is violently forced into a new shape? That’ll make a lot of people physically ill to hear.
Now me, I love body horror! I actually like to crank it up on Mind Flayers; rather than the whole body being turned into a purple Cthulhu-monster, I like to describe them as walking corpses with four tentacles that erupted through the front of the skull. But I check in with players about their comfort level with body horror before I use mind flayers, cause I know that imagery could seriously upset people who aren’t prepared for it.
because they were offended, they would have appreciated it if you had issued a content warning before mentioning it.a visceral description of flesh tearing, bones cracking, and organs re-arranging themselves as someone’s whole body structure is violently forced into a new shape?
Like the carnival sign, however, I suspect that is more about liability than kindness.When fava beans are being sold at my local super-market, they put on a sign to warn those who are allergic. I'm personally not allergic to them, so I can ignore the sign, while still appreciating why it is a very good idea to have it on display.
A huge amen to that. As a true friend will no doubt stop making the joke out of their own accord should they notice something is off even before the other has told them - or at least ask if something is wrong.If you don’t know someone has a phobia or trauma, that’s one thing. But once you do, the social calculus changes. A friend does not intentionally expose a friend to something that may reasonably be expected to cause emotional pain, regardless of the context.
For years, one of my best friends and I had a running joke. At some point, he asked me to end it because it bothered his wife deeply. Because it bothered her, it had started bothering him. I honored his request. I didn’t continue the joke, even when it was just the two of us hanging out.
This isn’t pop psychology, it’s basic human empathy.
And I’m definitely not talking about using gaming as therapy, especially by amateurs. I’m talking about avoiding pushing a friend’s buttons instead of messing with them in order to run a game. Why make a buddy squirm for fun?
Asking players if there is anything they wouldn’t like bothers a lot of people believe it or not.
There are some play styles where that isn’t an issue, but for me it is up there with things like wish lists for magic items. I really am not a fan of the players editing the game world in that way (just my preference, there are people who do like that, and that is fine). But again I think people are universalizing their own preferences and sensibilities here
I do think we all negotiate the question ‘is this the game for me?’ Differently. I don’t think a formal procedure is the solution to that question. Me I would rather get a feel from conversation with a GM but ultimately what is going to turn me off to a campaign isn’t whether it has mindflayers or werewolves but if Whether I like the people playing, the Gm’s style, and whether there are things like smoking at the table. Those are all things I am happy to discover over 1-2 sessions before deciding if I want to continue
That's actually likely, but it is still very useful for those who are allergic.Like the carnival sign, however, I suspect that is more about liability than kindness.