Player vs player hostility

[Nellisir]

Not character vs character, mind you...

I like everyone in the game I play in, but...

Player X can't stand Player Y. She won't (completely) admit to it, but she belittles just about everything he does, yells at him when he takes too long (in her opinion) to make a decision, and her character automatically hates every character he plays.

Now, there's SOME reasoning behind this. He's not a quick thinker, and he does sometimes take a very long time to make decisions (which is why he no longer plays spellcasters). At least two of his characters, through no fault of his own, have become evil/been possessed, and attacked her character.

But the snide remarks, dismissive attitude, and general rudeness she displays towards him (and only him - she's otherwise very nice) are really starting to grate on me. I don't like to see people mocked or put down. I've had some success cutting it off, but it's tough -- I'm in a game run by her fiance, at their apartment, because I know her. I was considering leaving the game for another reason, but the DM is making a serious effort to address that issue so I'll stick around.

At this point I'm planning on staying, and exerting a little more authority among the players to try and rein some of it in, but I figured I'd garner opinions as well. Anyone got a magic bullet solution?

Cheers,
Nell.

 

[Oryan77]

Just ask her to cut the guy some slack. If she keeps doing it, stick up for the guy every time she puts him down. Don't be rude or annoying about it, just be sincere. Hopefully she'll start to feel embarassed and she'll hush up.

 

[Templetroll]

Not character vs character, mind you...

I like everyone in the game I play in, but...

Player X can't stand Player Y. She won't (completely) admit to it, but she belittles just about everything he does, yells at him when he takes too long (in her opinion) to make a decision, and her character automatically hates every character he plays.

Now, there's SOME reasoning behind this. He's not a quick thinker, and he does sometimes take a very long time to make decisions (which is why he no longer plays spellcasters). At least two of his characters, through no fault of his own, have become evil/been possessed, and attacked her character.

But the snide remarks, dismissive attitude, and general rudeness she displays towards him (and only him - she's otherwise very nice) are really starting to grate on me. I don't like to see people mocked or put down. I've had some success cutting it off, but it's tough -- I'm in a game run by her fiance, at their apartment, because I know her. I was considering leaving the game for another reason, but the DM is making a serious effort to address that issue so I'll stick around.

At this point I'm planning on staying, and exerting a little more authority among the players to try and rein some of it in, but I figured I'd garner opinions as well. Anyone got a magic bullet solution?

Cheers,
Nell.

So the DM/fiance ran scenarios that had this guy's character possessed and then they attacked her characters? I think there is more hostility here than you thought.

 

[loki44]

Player X can't stand Player Y. She won't (completely) admit to it,

You're blaming P-X, but do other players maybe feel the same way about P-Y but are just not as vocal about it? Is P-Y totally blameless? The reason I ask is because something similar to this happened in our group recently, without the extra drama, and almost universally it seemed that P-Y was blamed for the discord more than P-X, albeit for different reasons than those you've outlined here. Things seem to have smoothed themselves out a bit now for us, and I hope you can reach a satisfactory solution within your group, but I guess my main point is simply that most dissention is a two-way street. There may be legitimate gripes on both sides even though they may not be expressed in the most constructive of manners.

 

[Nellisir]

So the DM/fiance ran scenarios that had this guy's character possessed and then they attacked her characters? I think there is more hostility here than you thought.

On one occasion, his character was ambushed, killed, turned into a vampire, and sent back to kill the party. The DM had the player run the vampire -- logical, since a) none of the players knew what had happened, and b) the player knew his character's capabilities better. More recently, Player Y's (replacement) character fell under a confusion effect (as did 2 other characters, eventually). The DM repeatedly rolled "attack" as the action, and Player X's character was closest to Player Y's character.

Player X's character retaliated by attacking to kill Player Y's character, ignoring the monstrous foes (which were beating the crap out of the rest of the party). It was flat-out stated she wanted to kill him, because she hates humans because they always turn on and attack the party (she doesn't like Player Z's human character, but more as a vague, reflexive action sort of thing, and my human character hasn't been mentioned at all, but he is a new character).

 

[Nellisir]

You're blaming P-X, but do other players maybe feel the same way about P-Y but are just not as vocal about it? Is P-Y totally blameless? The reason I ask is because something similar to this happened in our group recently, without the extra drama, and almost universally it seemed that P-Y was blamed for the discord more than P-X, albeit for different reasons than those you've outlined here. Things seem to have smoothed themselves out a bit now for us, and I hope you can reach a satisfactory solution within your group, but I guess my main point is simply that most dissention is a two-way street. There may be legitimate gripes on both sides even though they may not be expressed in the most constructive of manners.

P-Y is, quite frankly, not the brightest bulb in the bunch. He's a really nice guy, but he's not a fast thinker and he takes a long time to learn the rules. He's roommates with another player, and the rest of us are pretty neutral. There's an occasional chorus of "LOOK IT UP!" when he asks how to do something pretty basic, but P-X really seems to take it personally.

 

[ZuulMoG]

Such things were never an issue back in the days of ThAC0... the non-uber-smart needed not apply for a spot at the table.

This is what happens when you lower the bar.

PS We have a similar player with our group, but he's sensible enough to play rogues and warrior-types, and is humble enough to ask for help with what he needs help with, so it's never been a problem. He's a really nice guy too. I don't hate stupid people or anything, I'm just a snob intellectualist with a low frustration tolerance for willful ignorance.

 

[Dougal DeKree]

Hello Nellisir.

I have seen two campaigns end because of players just like player Y. They slowed the flow of things to a crawl in regards to campaign progress. At some point other players decided that the game was too slow to get them any fun out of it, so they quit and the campaign (and the players as a gaming group) fell apart.

I have another of those slow player types in my game at the moment and meanwhile, after he gets on my nerves more and more because he hinders the flow of things, his char is my first target for psi-control - partially because I want to see him do _anything_.

So my bet is that the crawling pace Y condems your play to is what freaks X out, not the player himself. X simply wants to see things moving IMO.

Dougal

 

[JoeGKushner]

Sometimes people don't get along. If it's going to be a problem, someone has to go.

Very rare is the situation where a magic bullet or an after school special actually work.

 

[billd91]

Just ask her to cut the guy some slack. If she keeps doing it, stick up for the guy every time she puts him down. Don't be rude or annoying about it, just be sincere. Hopefully she'll start to feel embarassed and she'll hush up.

I'd go with this advice. Even if other players are chafing a little at the pace, as long as Player Y is making a sincere attempt to play well, the slack should be given to him. There's little or no excuse for obnoxious behavior and you should feel well justified in standing up against it.