After over 20 years of playing and DMing (A)D&D, we agreed now in one 3.5 group after some intensive discussion a long list of spells that we considered story-breaking or simply overpowered. Plus, the selection of spells is limited to the PHB, ELH, FRCS, PGtF, Complete Scoundrel, Mage, Warrior, Adventurer, Divine, Arcane. The DM may allow a spell now and then from another source, but that is very rare.
To note, the group is not using the spell slot system, but instead uses spell point pools that tap the casters when they cast a spell. In fact, they can cast any spell they know as long as they have sufficient energy in their pools. In addition, all classes get +2 extra skill points at each level.
Criteria for a spell ban:
Casting time "immediate" or "swift": banned. Feather Fall is the only exception.
Is it a "Detect XYZ" spell: banned. Yes, that includes Detect Magic, Poison, Traps. And the Paladin ability as well. Use Sense Motive to get an idea of the alignment. And illusions and magical traps can be used. We had seen overuse of Detect Magic by our Warlock. Not nice.
Is it a "Discern XYZ" spell: banned. Now you can play a story around a kidnapped person even at higher levels.
Is it a "Speak with XYZ" spell: banned. Now you can develop a story about murder without resorting to several magical counter effects to let Speak with Dead fail...
Is it a "XYZ Lorecall" spell: banned. No cheesy extra skill boni please.
Is it a "Know XYZ" spell: banned. Use your skills instead.
Is it a "Locate XYZ" spell: banned. Use your skills instead, listen to the clues given by the DM.
Is it a spell with the [Scrying] descriptor: banned.
Is it a spell with the [Teleportation] descriptor: banned. Includes spell-like and supernatural effects as well. Exceptions are Planeshift and Maze.
Is it a spell that contacts a deity or its servitors: banned. In fact, Commune, Commune, with Nature, Augury, Omen of Peril, Divination, Contact other Plane are banned, i.e., all spells that may give an answer or idea to a problem that the players are unwilling to resolve by thinking and/or non-magical means.
Spells that do not fall into one of the above criteria are:
Comprehend Languages and Tongues: use your (extra) skills points.
Legend Lore, Vision: wizards = bards? Nope.
Windwalk: has seen too much abuse. Banned.
Arcane Sight (Greater): Both were just nasty, as Detect Magic. Banned.
Stone Tell: as Speak with XYZ. Banned.
Wieldskill, Warning: cheese = banned.
Weather Eye: use your Survival skill. Banned.
Zone of Truth: see Discern Lies. Banned.
Read Magic: banned. Use your extra skill points.
Shapechange, Polymorph any Object: under debate, possibly either to be banned or significantly reduced in duration.
Mind Blank: under debate, may be significantly reduced in duration.