Dr Midnight
Explorer
The following is an actual letter. This was a guarded relic when I worked at Kitchen Sink Press a few years back. As you may or may not know, Kitchen Sink Press was the company that published The Crow graphic novel. We published a lot of crappy comics. Anyway, here it is. Stick with it. It gets interesting very abruptly, about a third of the way through....
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Dear Kitchen Sink Press,
Hello. I am not a stalker, if that's what you're thinking. I am also not here to buy anything. But please don't throw away this paper just yet. Many people were shocked at the death of Brandon Lee, + I was one of them. It was a waste. He was such a wonderful, intelligent actor, and a very sweet, caring person. It's really sad! People still remember him. My condolences to his family, friends, and the people who worked with him. Anyway, I know that's all in the past. But if I was near his grave, I would visit + think about him as often as I can. Vincent Perez, Mia Kirshner, Iggy Pop, Thomas Jane, and Thuy Trang are excellent in "The Crow: City of Angels". I really enjoy that movie. It was very well-written, and the music by Graeme Revell sets it off nicely. I also enjoyed the first movie + the graphic novel. My favorite characters in the second movie are Kal, Curve, and Ashe. Wait - my friend Brandon (coincidence!) would like to say something (if he could write it himself he would) - Hello, Kitchen Sink Press. My name is Brandon Lee. I'm sorry I couldn't finish the first movie. I died before I could. My mistress and wife is writing for me because I can't write. As you kow, I'm a ghost now. I'm not too happy about that, but I found someone I love. Someone who is as, or is even more pretty than Elia, my one true love. She keeps showing me pictures + asking me if I remember. She has dark brown curly hair, and a beautiful face. She loves me for who I am, much like Elia did (Wait, can I cut in here? - You guys must think I'm a total wacko. Please don't call the police. I am not a stalker and I am not crazy. Also, don't show this to anybody, for it might upset them. Thanks.) Her name is Michelle, but she likes to call herself Shelly. She's 17. She had a child friend who called her Shelly. We've known each other for 4 years now. Make no mistake, I am dead. But I am still in this world. I was attracted to Michelle when she was 14. Imagine being attracted to her at 14! And (Edited for Eric's Grandma) at 15. By the way - as Michelle is worrying - if you try to send anything here, like reporters, I'll break their cameras before breaking their face. Excuse me for being rude, but that's how I feel. She is to live a normal, healthy life with me. And the only reason I'm telling you all this is because I feel you should know. I feel the whole world should know. (Excuse me - nott) In fact, I'm telling the whole world (yay.) That's all. Thank you. I'll let you speak to her now - All right. Please obey Brandon's wishes. Thank you, have a nice day. And if anyone tries to harass me, Brandon will punch them in teh face. Please keep this to yourself. Please, I'm begging you! One more thing - Brandon would love to meet Vincent Perez, and all the other stars, to see how they felt making the 2nd Crow movie! And please just write back. If I see any of this on T.V., or anyone asked me, I'll run back to the house and scream "Rape!!" Thank you. Goodbye.
Sincerely, Brandon Lee and Michelle
P.S. Please, please, please don't tell anyone about this.
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Dear Kitchen Sink Press,
Hello. I am not a stalker, if that's what you're thinking. I am also not here to buy anything. But please don't throw away this paper just yet. Many people were shocked at the death of Brandon Lee, + I was one of them. It was a waste. He was such a wonderful, intelligent actor, and a very sweet, caring person. It's really sad! People still remember him. My condolences to his family, friends, and the people who worked with him. Anyway, I know that's all in the past. But if I was near his grave, I would visit + think about him as often as I can. Vincent Perez, Mia Kirshner, Iggy Pop, Thomas Jane, and Thuy Trang are excellent in "The Crow: City of Angels". I really enjoy that movie. It was very well-written, and the music by Graeme Revell sets it off nicely. I also enjoyed the first movie + the graphic novel. My favorite characters in the second movie are Kal, Curve, and Ashe. Wait - my friend Brandon (coincidence!) would like to say something (if he could write it himself he would) - Hello, Kitchen Sink Press. My name is Brandon Lee. I'm sorry I couldn't finish the first movie. I died before I could. My mistress and wife is writing for me because I can't write. As you kow, I'm a ghost now. I'm not too happy about that, but I found someone I love. Someone who is as, or is even more pretty than Elia, my one true love. She keeps showing me pictures + asking me if I remember. She has dark brown curly hair, and a beautiful face. She loves me for who I am, much like Elia did (Wait, can I cut in here? - You guys must think I'm a total wacko. Please don't call the police. I am not a stalker and I am not crazy. Also, don't show this to anybody, for it might upset them. Thanks.) Her name is Michelle, but she likes to call herself Shelly. She's 17. She had a child friend who called her Shelly. We've known each other for 4 years now. Make no mistake, I am dead. But I am still in this world. I was attracted to Michelle when she was 14. Imagine being attracted to her at 14! And (Edited for Eric's Grandma) at 15. By the way - as Michelle is worrying - if you try to send anything here, like reporters, I'll break their cameras before breaking their face. Excuse me for being rude, but that's how I feel. She is to live a normal, healthy life with me. And the only reason I'm telling you all this is because I feel you should know. I feel the whole world should know. (Excuse me - nott) In fact, I'm telling the whole world (yay.) That's all. Thank you. I'll let you speak to her now - All right. Please obey Brandon's wishes. Thank you, have a nice day. And if anyone tries to harass me, Brandon will punch them in teh face. Please keep this to yourself. Please, I'm begging you! One more thing - Brandon would love to meet Vincent Perez, and all the other stars, to see how they felt making the 2nd Crow movie! And please just write back. If I see any of this on T.V., or anyone asked me, I'll run back to the house and scream "Rape!!" Thank you. Goodbye.
Sincerely, Brandon Lee and Michelle
P.S. Please, please, please don't tell anyone about this.
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