Know where Laredo is?
I spent a summer there as a 12 year old getting paid $1 an hour to "pull wire." Believe me, I know where Laredo is.
One thing is true, though -- no matter how long you've lived in Texas, you're bound to meet someone from a small town you've never heard of.
Haven't seen John post up the other quotes:
"And THIS is El Paso!"
"Allow me to make your acquaintance with the Great State's Panhandle!"
And I think I worked the Piney Woods in there somehow...
I'll never forget jonrog1's face when he asked me what the shield looked like:
"It's shaped like Texas."
"The ENTIRE SHEILD?!"
"Yeah."
"The SHEILD'S SHAPED LIKE TEXAS?!!"
"Yeah. I can do that, right?"
"Well, SURE, BUT WHO WOULD WANT TO??"
"I'm not going to get any projectile weapon penalties, am I? I mean, it's not going to wobble weird in the air, is it?"
Then with a striaght face: "No. It's been specially weighted."