Putting up with him... Or simply not playing?

[SnowleopardVK]

I'd like to say I don't know why I keep joining in games with a certain friend of mine... I'd like to say that, but I know exactly why I do. It's because there's not enough players of RPGs near me in real life to get a good-sized group together without him.

He's just... Annoying as a player though. Presumably as a DM/GM/ST too, but I haven't experienced enough games with him in charge to say for sure. I guess it'd be nice to know how others deal with certain annoying things other players do.

The most common "offence" I think is that as a player, he basically always plays the exact same character; a lone-wolf style werewolf exiled from the pack, quiet but somewhat of a jerk, and with a grudge against humanity (and yes, he does this even in games that don't have werewolves, he basically does it by just not saying the word werewolf and then acting exactly the same. Or sometimes by convincing the GM to let him insert his own werewolf templates into the setting). Now I'd understand playing similar characters repeatedly for new players, or repeating character types you enjoy on occasion but he's had years of experience with various RPGs. I've only played a few different games with him so far and already his characters are beginning to wear thin. He NEVER plays anything else.

Second most annoying is his one-system tendencies. I've heard more than enough from him about how Werewolf: The Apocalypse is the best RPG there is, how it's better than the other games among old WoD (Vampire, Mage, etc.), how new WoD is horrible, and about all of the things that are wrong with every RPG that isn't old WoD. Frankly I'm starting to wonder why he's so eager to play every time somebody announces they're running a Pathfinder campaign, or Vampire: The Requiem, or anything else really.

Third, and perhaps worst, is a sort of know-it-all attitude. It's like he can't make it through each minute without reminding the others that he knows things. If somebody asks a question, he'll immediately cut in with the answer every time. If somebody mentions that they're going to use a feat he'll tell them what to roll even if he's not the GM and they clearly already knew what to roll. This is worst when he tries to answer questions that were directed to the GM and starts quoting things that the GM has altered or ignored for the current campaign. My personal pet peeve among his habits though is when them GM beats him to the punch at explaining something and he insists on explaining it anyways immediately after the GM's explanation. The GM does a good, clear job of it and the player who asks understands, then he cuts in with a comparison of the situation to how the mafia works, or some other thing that neither he, nor anybody else at the table really understands. It just makes things more confusing.

What's annoying is that every other player and GM among my friends is either less experienced, or for a reason I can't understand, puts up with him. So I don't know what to do. Do I try to put up with him to, and keep having my comments about "you've told me that about WtA already" or "maybe you should leave the explaining to the GM" ignored? Is there perhaps a better way to get it through to him that the other players don't seem to enjoy how he acts? Should I just stop playing with him even though it's hard to make a good-sized group around here without including him? What do you guys think?

 

[Nebten]

If you are not having fun, then its not worth having him. There are always other people about, I'm sure you can find them. But in the end its better to have a smaller group then no group at all because everybody else gets such a bad vibe from gaming because of this guy.

 

[Kzach]

Some people you just can't game with and there's nothing to be done about it. Decide whether it's worth putting up with him or not and act on it. Whether that means kicking him to the curb or leaving the group yourself, there's no point playing in a game you're not enjoying.

One of my best friends who I've known for over twenty years is an absolutely terrible DM. He's a good player, but as a DM he actively does things to piss me off. This isn't just me reading into things either as I've flat out confronted him on it and he's said that he does it on purpose. It's almost as if the power turns him into a vindictive, petty little monster, it's bizarre. So I just don't play in a game with him as DM.

 

[S'mon]

If you have the option of playing in a smaller group without him, do that. You certainly don't need him just to make up the numbers. I can't think of any RPG that isn't playable with 2 PCs, or solo with some adaptation. If you're GMing, don't let him play. Tell him the two reasons you gave us (unless you think he'll get violent or something).

If you don't have the option of excluding him, talk to your GM, raise your concerns. It's the GM's job to deal with obnoxious players, and he might have a different definition of obnoxious from you. Ideally the GM will contact him and ask him to shape up or ship out.
If this does not work, you can talk to the player about it (NOT during the game!), and tell him you don't want to hear about Werewolf or have him talking over the GM etc. If he's a big ole jerk and ignores you, and the GM won't do anything, my advice would be to drop that game and look for a new group without him. Chances are that other players feel similarly, though.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

I've only played a few different games with him so far and already his characters are beginning to wear thin. He NEVER plays anything else.

About that: I'm currently in a game group with a guy I've gamed with since 1985 and another I've gamed with since 1998. The former has played Wizards 85% of the time I've played D&D with him- usually with interchangeable spell lists.

The latter usually plays "sniper" types, regardless of system.

While it does somewhat crimp the style of other players wanting to play a Wizard or "sniper", the upside is this: they generally play those roles well...at least mechanically. There are no worries about whether their PCs can do what you'd expect them to.

 

[Starfox]

Now you have ranted on it; hope you feel better. Ranting often helps.

Afraid you have to live with it - or with the consequences of not playing with him. Sometimes life sucks. But a rant can be a nice relief, especially if you get a sympathetic ear and can do it away from whoever you're ranting at.

 

[ExploderWizard]

Have you considered having a private discussion with him to let him know how you feel?

This person may be unaware that is behavior rubs you the wrong way. If you talk about it with him and invite him to bring up anything he might annoying about you (its only fair) then your situation has a chance to improve.

If you let him know whats bothering you and doesn't seem to care then he isn't really a friend and you can game without him.

 

[Oryan77]

It sounds more like he's just an annoying human being than anything. Is he cool to be around outside of the game? There really isn't much you can do about this unless you just quit playing.

His problems don't seem to be issues that disrupt the game. I'm sure they are annoying as hell, but man, I've dealt with some worse problems from players and I've seen people here post about much worse. If these are your biggest issues, you should consider yourself lucky!

Like I said, he sounds annoying, but doesn't sound like a problem player. See if you can just live with it. See if you can shrug it off and not even make snide comments like, "yes, we know already". Just let him do his thing. If you can learn to ignore it, everything might work itself out.

This might be easier to do if you keep reminding yourself, "It could be worse" whenever he does it. I'm sure, even if you found a new player or you joined a new group, you'll just be dealing with some other guys crap and it might even be worse.

 

[Bleys Icefalcon]

Sounds to me your group could do with one less player. You'd have more fun.

 

[[OMENRPG]Ben]

Yeah, one guy in my old group always played the "elf ranger" type. If there are no elves, he plays some kind of more beautiful, aloof humanoid or alien or whatever. He's a great plalyer, and does the role-playing well and fulfills his role in the mechanical side of things. But, it can get draining.

I would echo what others have said. Either kick him out, or leave yourself. If you are going to DM (or possibly suggest it to whoever is) that they should force him to play something that fits into the campaign world. And that if he continues to undermine the authority of the DM, and slow-down the game, that he will have to pay the consequences either in or out of game. I'm not a fan of this last method, as it can ostracize the player, but sometimes a little humiliation goes a long way.