(rant) Retiring from gaming

[Harmon]

I am to the point where gaming after twenty-four years is getting to be more work then its worth.

The inner strife within the Players and friends is strained, my campaigns are lacking in something that I can’t put a finger on, our other GM seems to be giving up on trying to keep the characters interested in plot and adventure hooks he had designed for them or around them because so many Players either want nothing to do with added stress or do not find it fun or seem reluctant to enter into some area where they may receive reticule.

I have a feeling that the vast majority of you will suggest a break, a vacation from gaming, presently we are taking one, due to the holidays, weddings and Christmas parties and such we have taken a break from gaming.

I have used the time to unintentionally destroy a relationship, try to get on with my other entertainment (writing) and get some bloody rest.

After so long I am wondering if I should continue, bail out of my long time passion as a New Years pledge of trying something new or I don’t know.

My wife and I are going to be changing careers and need to focus some on school over the next few years, maybe that should be something I should consider, or maybe I should just get over it.

People change and I should not resist that change I suppose, the problem is that I enjoy gaming when its there and I want to continue but is it just a rut I have gotten into and do not want to get out of because I am so comfortable with it.

Sorry about the question-less rant, but I needed to get this energy flowing and see if there are like minded people out there with the same feelings.

 

[nopantsyet]

Only you can know if that's a change you need to make.

As to change itself, don't everestimate it. [size=-1]Plus ca change, plus ce la meme chose, as they say in Shadowrun--er, French. [/size]

I've been through my own cycles of being discontent, finding something I'm not completely satisfied with, and blaming it for everything, and quitting it, then ultimately regretting giving it up. There have also been things I've held on to for too long, and felt a huge relief when I finally accepted that.

It may be you need a new group. Or a new game. Or maybe you do need to replace gaming with something else. There are lots of options--take your time and explore them until you find what's right for you. Ultimately, it's about finding what makes you happy and doing it, and I'm sure you'll figure it out.

 

[Trainz]

It's okay.

Taking a break is certainly one alternative, but it is not the only one.

You could change games. I mainly play D&D, but I did a 1 year Star Wars campaign, and a 1 year d20 Modern campaign. After I always find that I wanted to get back to D&D, but it's a good way to recharge you heroic-fantasy batteries without cutting RPG's altogether.

Another less obvious thing to do is to game with different people. You seem to suggest that your current players are dissatisfied. Gaming with new peeps would shove a pint of new blood in your games.

You shouldn't worry too much about it. It's just a game. If you do take a break for, say, 4 months, you could call your old players and see who's still interested to play. This way you would "weed-out" those that remain just out of habit from those who still have the potential and drive to have fun with D&D.

YMMVAAT

 

[Trainz]

Plus ça change, plus c'est pareil

Fixed it for ya.

 

[Greylock]

I'd suggest a week off, not much more. Then put out a call on a local gaming board and seek out total strangers to play in your campaign. See how things go. Put together some low-level stuff, and see if it works out.

Then pit the new blood against your seasoned vets, every other session.

 

[BSF]

Sorry about the question-less rant, but I needed to get this energy flowing and see if there are like minded people out there with the same feelings.

It sounds like you need several things. Admittedly, I don't know anything about you, except what you have posted here. *shrug* You asked, I am answering.

First of all, it sounds like your entire gaming circle is having difficulties. Remember that the game is a group event. When the entire group is having difficulties, then the game starts to be less fun. Maybe you need to keep your gaming friends as friends, but look for a new group to game with.

Second of all, it sounds like you have a lot of change going on in your life. Maybe you do need to set the dice aside for a while. There have been times when I have been too busy with other things to keep gaming. If you and your wife need to focus on school, then you need to do that. If gaming interferes, then it might need to go on the shelf and get dusty a while. You can always come back to gaming.

It sounds like gaming is definitely a stress point in your life right now. That needs to change and a break is a good chance to assess where the change needs to happen. But you also need to give yourself permission to accept that change. Be honest with yourself. I have walked away from groups that I no longer enjoyed playing with. They were all good people, but the game wasn't fun. Be honest and tell them you aren't enjoying the game.

You need to do what makes you happy. That might include taking a break, and possibly even leaving gaming permanently. To me it just sounds like you need to determine if you no longer like gaming, or just don't enjoy the game(s) you are currently in.

In any event, you have my best wishes on reducing your stress and enjoying your life more.

 

[Acid_crash]

I know how you feel, sometimes I feel like giving up also. But, for some reason, I don't. Sometimes it's hellish to find a good group, finding people who are willing to commit to a steady game week after week, or even month after month...and on top of that, finding players that can put up with each other on a regular basis without arguing or any other stupid crap.

Sometimes it's hard to find a group that likes the idea you have.

All these things are situations I find myself in a lot, especially when I want to branch off from D&D and give something else a try...most of the players around here literally just play D&D. For people like me, it really sucks.

 

[jester47]

I was getting a little fed up a little with my collecting habit. For about the last year whenever I bought a book I think "$30 I could do somthing useful with, that if I did not spend this here, I could invest it, or give it to a charity, or somthing other than gether books that are going to take me a lifetime to use." Then I realised that my gaming is not just collecting. I realised it was somthing more. Personally I am a serious practicing christian (TB and HH- the serious part happened in late October after GenCon and the Red Garter- I will still venture to that place with you next year out of fellowship, but I can't participate monetarily in that anymore, lets just say Issek of the Jug has me!), and part of that is hospitality. This is not a cheap shot to get people into your house to convert them, its just about spending time with people, opening up your home to them and sharing a meal and conversation or activity. That activity for me is D&D. So for me D&D is religious. This is why I am very excited about C&C, it will allow me to run games more, as the preparation for 3e was cutting my gaming to 1 session a month. Now I can do it on the fly much more effectively.

I would say this: You are reaching a place in your life where you are not into the game. Do this: Take your games, put them in a box, put the box in a closet, or an attic, or someplace where you will not see them. Then forget about them. Live another life without games. Then someday you will find the box and what is in it will interest you. At that point start gaming again.

Aaron.

 

[Castellan]

I notice that you're taking time off for the holidays, but that seems more like a "mandatory" break, instead of a voluntary break. Try taking some time off specifically for you. Make sure you acknowledge that you're really taking a break from gaming for a certain amount of time. I'd suggest a month off. If you find yourself missing gaming, then you can go back to it, otherwise take more time off.

I think you're also needing some fresh blood in your group. Or maybe a complete change of pace. I've just begun making a similar change in my game, too. We had 7 people in the group, and I've reduced it to 4 (that's 3 players, 1 DM -- me). We cut out the "chaff." These are folks that I don't mind spending some time with, but I've realized they're not the kind of D&D players I really want to play with. It's been a month, and it's making a positive difference in my game.

Finally, as mentioned earlier, try something different. I've run a single campaign in the Forgotten Realms for 3+ years, and now I'm running a Traveller game. It's very different, and it's making me think about gaming from a different perspective again.

Some -- or all -- of these things might be useful to try. Make sure you're not doing something you don't want to do!

 

[was]

Sounds like DM burn out. I've been there. Try giving up DMing for a while and just run a pc.