Re-worded spells

[blargney the second]

Grue Strike - due to employee dissatisfaction, you don't have to worry about getting eaten in the dark! (You do have to cross a picket line to get into the dark, though.)

 

[spunky_mutters]

Glowing Orc - Chances are he won't like it.
Ham - Touch attack removes all but 1d4 hp and leaves foe glazed for 1 round.
Giant's Wreath - It's what you give him for Christmas.
Heroes Fast - I need to eat twice as much? Am I still immune to poison? This spell sucks.

 

[spunky_mutters]

Hidden ledge - It's about head height.
Hide the Math - For players who just can't keep their mods straight.

 

[spunky_mutters]

Imprison Mint - If it won't atone.
Mordenkainen's Private's Sanctum - Not as big as they say.

 

[Raylis]

Spiritual Engine -when you really need to run someone over with a train

Mordenkainen's Faithful Girlfriend -'nuff said

Gentle re-pose -when your party's fighting formation is slightly off

Expedious Treat -summons gingerbread man

Expedious Treant - makes everything seem downhill

Undetectable Ailment -for hypochondriacs everywhere

Barrister's Instant Summons -the person you want to sue appears in court.

 

[WarlockLord]

Dispel Clothes: Dow we need an explanation?

Pollmorph: Change the contents of a poll

Fly: an annoyance

 

[Kmart Kommando]

* Male Hand: 5-pound grope.

Tasha's Hideous Slaughter: (who's laughing now? )

True Stroke: greater version of Male Hand, almost never misses

Summon Munster I-IX: still in black and white, as intended.

Open/Clothes: 'nuf said

Bleep: censors up to 4HD of creatures deemed to be of an inappropriate encounter level.

Glitterbust: spices up your (Great) Cleavage

Misplacement: 50% chance to lose any small items for 1d4 days.

Dis Miss Al: the spell used to create the Girdle of Femininity/Masculinity

Symbol of Bleep: creates black rectangles in strategic places

Symbol of Tweakness: the big MD on Mountain Dew cans.

Obscuring Gist: know what I'm sayin'?

Sire Shield: ribbed for her pleasure

 

[Nifft]

Sire Shield: ribbed for her pleasure

Also provides protection from sireballs.

Cheers, -- N

 

[DM-Rocco]

Heroes Fast - I need to eat twice as much? Am I still immune to poison? This spell sucks.

As a DM who has to deal with two high level clerics, I find Heroes Feast really annouying. I might just switch out this version once when they aren't expecting it.

 

[Shazman]

How about :
1) shocking task - force subject to do something completely against their character
2) shaking grasp - enables subject to have a firm hadshake
3) cage armor - protects you during those gruesome cage fights
4) Bigby's groping hand - naughty, naughty Bigby
5) waste - summons piles of garbage