Henry said:
...which is exactly jasper's (tongue-in-cheek) point. 
Jasper pt was he didn't have coffe doughnuts or hugs this morning and is tiring of :
1. My Dm says a 1st level my guts are around garters. And a Clw heals for 8 and I total fine.
Then my Dm at x level says the same thing but clw heals for 8 and I not fine.
2. Hitpts should be cause x because a clw does heal same % when I go up levels.
3. by 20 conan is not scared of town guards aint fair whA!!!! And it unREALIST to make the guards the same level.
Ok boys girls new words.
Hit pts are now call zippy dodas
So cure light wounds become restore minor zippy dodas
The first basement floor in a dunegeon is called 1st level.
A 5th level character is now 5th scale character
a 9th level spell is now a 9the power spell
a 3level sorcer/4 level fighter is now a 3 circle sorcer / 4 circle fighter.
alignment is now call enlightment viewpt which changes with dms. my world view and wether the blue moon rises in the west and it does not really matter.
Emcubrance is now this stuff is heavy and artward or honey i ain't moving the couch again.
barbarians are now either them thar yankees or untrained civilized folk.
Clerics are now call medics and get over it.
Sorcerers can cast spell but use zippy dodas as material componets.
Elfs have a choice sleep 8 hours and cast magic or never sleep trance again but must spend 4 hours prancing around the camp fire.
Dwarf women can grow beards if they want too. It the 21 st century you go girls
Amazons are now Zena clones or WWE (formerly WWF) stars.
All dragons get 1 instant kill on the party becaue they are dragons.
Halfling can be smoking toting hippy gyspeys if they want to be.
No ONe can leave the game becaue your are all best friends so flip a coin to see if the DM or DM best friend gets is way.
paladins can lie cheat and steal because they have cool powers which they should not be restricted for any reason.
The ladies/lords of evening chart will be in all games and modules it is as follows
1. You got money. Divide half.
2. You have enjoy yourself now go to the medic for some pencillian.
EVIL always loses in the end. If you want this to change writer a bestseller which evil wins.
All evil creaturers loss 4 pt in int wis because evil people don't play well with others and would rather shoot the LT in the back than machine gun the hero.
Wandering pockets of timeout limbo exist in every game session players character disappear and reappear from it a whim.
The best weapon is what ever kills the monster and who cares about what happens in real life.
the spirit of game rules and strange rule interpurtations are now disposited in the pocket limbo.
The army with better range, better tactics, and high cash reserves will win because all armys can deploy similiar player characters to cancelled each other out.
Wotc nolonger suck because x. If you think so go into business yourself and prove to US you can come up with better cheaper system and make BILLIONS at it.
Wotc are people too and will make mistakes so get over it and roll those dice.
its your game and our opinon you decide which one you want to follow.
Jasper need hugs, chocolate, kisses and money. Send it.
The splat books are always broken And so is the game. Go play GOLF and no mulligans.
polls like politicans smell and should be taken down after 3 days .
the rules are the rules and the dm is the dm. replace one or other as needed.
OT are fun for the first 50 posts
you can do what you want but we don't have to approve or you listen to our disapproval.
The honey bee should not bee able to fly.
Werewolves are in London.
jasper has not have ehough coffee.
