And I'm asserting it really can't. As alluded above, by myself and others. The point
@pemerton made about "explanations just past the page," for example. If the standard requires that full-on everything be justified purely within the literal words of the text, an enormous swathe of fiction instantly ceases to be immersive solely because it doesn't go into a lot of unnecessary detail about grain imports and industrial capacities etc. Since you seem to be cool with the Rivendell example, it then behooves you to explain why
those handwaves are acceptable, but game-related ones are not.
Ugh. Okay, I guess I'll interject since, you know, I started this thread. Although really it's all the fault of
@Swarmkeeper . HAPPY NOW? See what you did?
Look, people like what they like. That's always true from a subjective sense. It's also true that there are techniques used to make things more effective for most people. For example, films employ certain types of grammar that most of accept and process unconsciously. After a movie, people will often say, "I like it!" or, "I hated it!" without always knowing what, specifically, was done in the movie that made them have this reaction ... especially when the faults are non-obvious or occur in the grammar and rules of the film.
To make this more concrete, think about how a horror movie might be scary, or not scary. One way that this is done is through the use of jump scares. I'm going to embed a 12 minute youtube video that does a decent job of showing how some movies (The Conjuring) use the jump scare effectively, and other movies (Jason Takes Manhattan) .... don't. And it's because of the underlying film grammar and technique.
What does this have to do with anything? Well, the majority of people who saw those two movies would probably
feel the difference, but might lack the vocabulary to express it. They would just say something like, "The Conjuring was a better movie than the Friday the 13th Movie," or, "I just didn't think that the Manhattan movie was very scary." Again, not everyone ... people are all different. But most people would know that there's a difference, even if they couldn't articulate it, and would have a preference.
Issues of realism, whether you're watching a game or enjoying narrative fiction, are almost always overblown. People who like the thing in question will suspend their disbelief- it's "realistic" (or true to genre) for them. Those who don't will immediately point out the ways in which it isn't realistic. Here's a concrete example-
Two people are arguing about Star Wars and Babylon 5. The Babylon 5 fan says that Star Wars is unrealistic, it's just fantasy with wizards and space ships. It's not "hard science fiction" like Babylon 5, that consulted with NASA's JPL, and has Earth's ships spinning to create gravity....
And the Star Wars fan replies, "Yeah yeah. But all the ships went
pew pew pew in the vacuum of space, didn't they?"
What people accept as realistic, and what they don't ... that level of suspension of disbelief .... it depends on a lot of things. On a lot of cultural things, on a lot of genre conventions, and, of course, on subjective factors that are personal (the difference between what Neil deGrasse Tyson accepts, and what JJ Abrams accepts, may be different).
Moving this to the game discussion, it is clear that people have different preferences when it comes to rules for TTRPGs in general, and to D&D specifically. While 4e was, in many ways, an evolution from the very last stages of 3.5e, it also had a very different grammar and assumptions about the rules. For some people (including many on this thread), that was
liberating and
awesome. For others (including many on this thread), that was
alienating and
unenjoyable.
The arguments about disassociated mechanics and "realism" (ugh) are attempts by people that found 4e unenjoyable to analyze why they found it unenjoyable by looking at the grammar of the game. Now, they might not be correct, but it is unlikely that anyone who likes 4e would understand it ...
because they disagree with the basic premise that 4e's grammar is unenjoyable.
To have a productive conversation about this ... which, based on what I have seen in these threads
is impossible, you would have to start with the premise that the rules-grammar of 4e does not work for a contingent of people, and then try (in good faith) to really understand why, as opposed to assuming that arguments regarding 4e are made in bad faith. This doesn't mean that the rules-grammar of 4e is bad in anyway, but that it did not serve the purpose of some portion of people.
One way that might be productive,
especially given that the thread topic is about 5e and realism, is to consider the ways in which 5e both used the grammar of 4e and
broke with the grammar of 4e, and from there, determine what aspects of the rules grammar people really took issue with. Or not!