Ridiculous crap

[alsih2o]

Well, just to share here is some of the more ridiculous things I have come up with and never found a chance to use in game. Please share yours as well-


Lleandra Urrutria and his Dwarfgun- Lleandra is an ancient blue dragon (LE) who believes that the combination of magic and technology will allow him to become a god, given time. Lleandras main weapon is a dwarf-gun. This large weapon uses dwarves for ammo, expending their mortal souls for a charge and expelling their bodies as bullets. Lleandra prefers to leave his ammo fully armored, as they make excellent sounds when striking opponents.
His gun, which he has named Schuska fires 5 dwarves per round at 1 or 2 targets. Dwarvish ammo does 2d12 per round.

Shimez Colepan and her Ethereal whip- Shimez discovered her whip when jaunting around the planes (she claims to have stolen it form an ethereal filcher, many doubt that story, many doubt most of her stories). Shimez is a 17th lvl bard who has turned to mercenary work. For a very small fee she will make use of her whip in combat. The whip is capable of making an attack, with a trip attack if the first attack is successful, against any creature on the prime material plane once per day. The whip offers Shimez equal strength to whomever she attacks and strips away any size advantage the defender has. Shimez never fails to attack who she says she will, and never fails to take advantage of flanking.

Carpet Bomber- The carpet bomber is a long lost magic item made by a wizard past his prime mentally. The carpet is just like a Carpet of flying with the exception that on the proper command word the carpet releases more carpet. These non-magical carpets weigh between 100 and 200 lbs. And are rolled in tight coils. Whoever is flying the carpet can make a ranged touch attack to drop them on opponents. Range incr-100 feet.

 

[BiggusGeekus]

Carpet Bomber- The carpet bomber is a long lost magic item made by a wizard past his prime mentally. The carpet is just like a Carpet of flying with the exception that on the proper command word the carpet releases more carpet. These non-magical carpets weigh between 100 and 200 lbs. And are rolled in tight coils. Whoever is flying the carpet can make a ranged touch attack to drop them on opponents. Range incr-100 feet.

... and you're saying you never found a use for this? Go figure.

 

[Ankh-Morpork Guard]

Lleandra Urrutria and his Dwarfgun- Lleandra is an ancient blue dragon (LE) who believes that the combination of magic and technology will allow him to become a god, given time. Lleandras main weapon is a dwarf-gun. This large weapon uses dwarves for ammo, expending their mortal souls for a charge and expelling their bodies as bullets. Lleandra prefers to leave his ammo fully armored, as they make excellent sounds when striking opponents.
His gun, which he has named Schuska fires 5 dwarves per round at 1 or 2 targets. Dwarvish ammo does 2d12 per round.

Now THAT is some serious Dwarf Tossing...

 

[KB9JMQ]

Alish20, you just made my day. BTW does the ammo yell "Don't tell the elf" as it is flying thru the air

 

[maddman75]

Dude- those are cooler than my planned long term quest, where the heroes will have to search for four weirds to get their prophecies. Their names - Eddie, Wendy, Rocky, and Bernie.

 

[Numion]

In our group we've kicked a lot of stupid ideas around for fun. I should've kept notes, and then make an adventure based on that. They all inhabit the same demiplane, with a oneway portal in

For example the Corpulent PrC from some PDF sourcebook. They grow to a huge size as levels advance. it's for clerics. Clerics make great archers .. or even two-weapon fighters. So we'd have a Jabba the Hut with a bow or two scimitars. Well it sounded funny at the time .. I'm still waiting to roll that on my players.

Then there was something involving the Orcish shotput and monkey grip, so you could chuck em out with both hands

 

[Henry]

I converted Larry Elmore's Gagglezoomer to 2nd edition AD&D about 14 years ago. It was one of the most fun things I ever put in a campaign. Once, while riding along in his cart about 50 miles per hour, one of the characters made the mistake of taking the leech off the back while on a hard packed dirt road - the results were, well, catastrophic. Fortunately, he was enchanted by a 2nd edition stoneskin from a high-level mage, and unfortunately, he was hit around 20 times by the thing's running claws before it bounced off of him and came to a stop.

 

[Gnarlo]

There was my orc NPC, The Kurnel, who had a bar in the orclands named "Kurnel's Fried Cut-offs". He specialized in deep fried small-races on a skewer, with halfling as the original recipe but eventually he came out with an extra-crispy gnome.

 

[demiurge1138]

I have a lot of these. For example, there was the steam powered weasel, a golem-like construct fueled by steam mephits bound within. And yet it managed to deal quite a bit of damage before getting put down.

Some choice bits of ridiculousness came from my epic-level campaign, which featured a puddle of slime that, in his boredom, a party member ate. So I told him it tasted like toast. So they decided to harvest and sell it. There was also Demogorgon's yacht, which cruised the ocean seas of the Abyss, harpooning giant floating abyssal beasts and hauling them on deck for butchering.

From a Mezozoic campaign I once ran (all of the PCs were reptilian), there was Bob, the spider trainer, who bred spiders for use as mounts. There was also a dungeon which had a trench full of contact poison, which the party, of course, tried to harvest for use as a weapon. And then there was the time they landed on an island which turned out to be Gamera...

Demiurge out.

 

[Frilf]

There was my orc NPC, The Kurnel, who had a bar in the orclands named "Kurnel's Fried Cut-offs". He specialized in deep fried small-races on a skewer, with halfling as the original recipe but eventually he came out with an extra-crispy gnome.

As a gnome, I'm deeply offended...