D&D 5E Roasting the Paladin

[CleverNickName]

Let's talk about paladins...but let's not take it too seriously. The point of this discussion is to laugh about, or directly at, the paladin class in D&D. There are some really funny tropes and stereotypes floating around about them, after all, and those tropes don't just spring up out of the ground for no reason. Let's point and laugh at everyone's favorite walking argument, the Paladin! I would like to invite everyone--lovers and haters alike--to laugh at paladins with me. We are here to give them a proper good-natured roasting, like we would give any other popular celebrity.

(This thread is intended to be satire. If you find yourself getting angry in this thread, you are doing it wrong.)

There's a poll attached, because polls are funny too. Vote for as many options as you like. And bards might be too easy, but maybe next week we can all laugh at rangers.

 

[CleverNickName]

Now I like paladins, particularly the Oath of Ancients variety. They are the perfect "almost" character: almost a healer, almost an exorcist, almost a forester. If you've ever wanted to be a druid that ignores equipment restrictions, or a ranger that gets poison ivy a lot, this is a great place to start. They hit harder than most warriors, too. (No joking about that.)

And they have tons of flavor, nuance, and roleplaying opportunities to ignore (almost as much as the warlock!)

 

[Voadam]

To dream, the impossible dream.

That song always calls to me to play a noble crusader.

 

[aco175]

Simplest terms? First thing I picked up on is Sir Lancelot. Mostly from nostalgic terms with 1e/2e being the noble warrior with duty to his god. I know 5e gets away from this idea, kind of like how 5e got away from monsters as evil. Paladins are more squishy rather than stark black/white.

 

[Charlaquin]

Almost all of the above, except Van Helsing (he was just a professor with a special interest in vampires) and Don Quixote (who was only a Paladin in his own mind).

 

[CleverNickName]

Almost all of the above, except Van Helsing (he was just a professor with a special interest in vampires) and Don Quixote (who was only a Paladin in his own mind).

I voted for "warrior who went to church once," since religion so rarely comes up in our campaign. I was serious about the Oath of Ancients, though...it's probably my favorite style of pally.

 

[Charlaquin]

I voted for "warrior who went to church once," since religion so rarely comes up in our campaign. I was serious about the Oath of Ancients, though...it's probably my favorite style of pally.

Oath of the Ancients is awesome! Fits the Green Knight idea very well.

 

[TarionzCousin]

To dream, the impossible dream.

That song always calls to me to play a noble crusader.

Note: Dr. Frank N. Furter is not a paladin.

 

[Charlaquin]

Note: Dr. Frank N. Furter is not a paladin.

Ok, but Oath of the Hedonist would be kind of awesome.

 

[CleverNickName]

Note: Dr. Frank N. Furter is not a paladin.

But he COULD be.