roleplaying across the gender line

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If you're not comfortable roleplaying a different gender, don't. If you're not sure if you'd be comfortable or not, try it and see.

My characters are 60/40 male/female. When I think up character concepts gender plays a big part in imagining the character. Generally, I'll look at the last gender I played and go in the opposite direction. My friends always play males, so it took them some time to get used to it. For me, though, creating a cool PC is little different than creating a cool NPC. Guess it's just the DM in me.
 

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Snoweel said:
When did I EVER describe "lifestyle" as irrelevant?

When I wrote "Yes, but these things do not constitute their lifestyle" and you replied "Ok. The old argue-the-definition-of-one-irrelevant-word trick."

"bor-ing" is funny. Ask anyone.

It is ridicule. Not the means to resort to if you demand that your own arguments be treated with polite respect.

Regards,


Agback
 

It's also worth noting that whether a character "should" match the player in gender can depend on the game milieu.

If I were in a game set in Shogunate Japan and wanted to play a warrior, darn tootin' I'd run a male character. The restrictions and limitations on women were such that playing a female would be pointless--and the 49,102th time you play the woman-disguised-as-a-man-so-she-can-fight type of character can be boring.

In a cyberpunk/high-tech game where changing your gender is about as difficult as getting your ears pierced, being male, female, or somewhere in between might be totally irrelevant to the game environment.

In a swashbuckling game, women might get to be just as daring as men, but sex roles were still very different. The noble warrior maiden might be just as good with a sword as the dashing young musketeer, but their characters are quite different.
 

barsoomscore said very well something that I sorta tried to say earlier in the thread: the secret to playing a character -- of either gender -- well isn't having experience or the right personality to do so, it's being able to empathize with the character. Some character concepts I simply can't empathize with if they are male, but the concept is interesting, demanding to be played. When that happens, I role up a female character and off we go.
 

Well, this thread is certainly exciting.

A few thoughts:

I too disallow men from playing women in my games. My experience is that the vast majority of men who choose to play a woman do so for one of the following reasons:
(1) They have found a technicality in the rules that playing a female character allows them to exploit. E.g. playing a Voria priestess in Runequest because you get Rune Magic right away.
(2) They believe that they can gain diplomatic and financial advantage on the basis of charm.
(3) They wish that they were attractive young women in real life and want to roleplay this experience because they find it emotionally gratifying.
(4) They are frustrated by the fact that attractive young have power over them in real life and want to roleplay this experience of disempowerment from the opposite perspective.
(5) They wish that they were hot lesbian sluts in real life and want to roleplay this experience because they find it ... gratifying.

I disallow people from playing women for reason #1 because often this leads to the person poorly playing the character and making "her" indistinguishable from a man.

I disallow people from playing women for reason #2 because I find that this essentially applies enhancement bonuses to a bunch of Charisma-based skills for free.

I disallow people from playing women for reasons #3 and #4 because I am not a counsellor and do not want to do therapy in the guise of gaming.

I disallow people from playing women for reason #5 because I'm running a gaming group not a circle jerk and being straight and all I don't find it very pleasant to run a game in which I assist my male friends in experiencing sexual fulfilment.

Let me put this question to those men committed to playing female characters: what can you do as a female character that you cannot do as a male?
 

What the..? is everyone more eloquent than me when stating my case?

Well said Fusangite:) but get ready for a deluge of "I just see the character in my head as a woman" and it's ilk.

Now get judging Haiku's.
 
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Agback said:
When I wrote "Yes, but these things do not constitute their lifestyle" and you replied "Ok. The old argue-the-definition-of-one-irrelevant-word trick."

So I did.

And I was wrong. Another point conceded. The term "lifestyle" is relevant.

So now that we've cleared that up, my point stands - something doesn't have to occur on an everyday basis to constitute "lifestyle".

And both Zorro and the Scarlet Pimpernel live a violent, adventurous lifestyle, even though you claim that they don't.

It is ridicule.

Part of why it's funny, I guess, and definitely no reason to ignore the entirety of the post.

I don't work sarcastic humour into my posts just to give people an escape route - "Well if you're going to be like that..."

I mean, lighten up. I go the ridicule route (and it is good natured) with people I think can dish it back to me. And you definitely seem to be able to give it. I assume you can also take it.

Not the means to resort to if you demand that your own arguments be treated with polite respect.

Polite's not a factor. I don't care how polite you are, but I do want you to show my posts the respect I've shown yours (ie: replying to all your points, giving you the "time of day", so to speak).

If you wanna be rude, go for it - make it funny and I promise I'll laugh loudest.

But if you don't appreciate my humour, don't wait two pages before you put on your indignant face. Tell me immediately and I'll be "polite".

That said...

Answer the question, Claire!
 

fusangite said:
I too disallow men from playing women in my games.
More power to you.
My experience is that the vast majority of men who choose to play a woman do so for one of the following reasons:
None of which bear the remotest resemblance to the reason I posted -- namely, that characters come to me with their gender already defined and I get interested in, then attached to them. I play characters I am interested in. Whether or not they resemble me in their stature, nature or plumbing has nothing to do with it.

Your reasons and your explanations as to why they indicate you disallow men from playing women are very interesting. I don't find any of your "reasons" very compelling, though I can see why you would find #5 uncomfortable. That's fair enough. The other four, however, don't seem very logical to me. But never mind.
Let me put this question to those men committed to playing female characters: what can you do as a female character that you cannot do as a male?
I guess that doesn't include me since I have never claimed to be committed to playing female characters. I have played female characters, and probably will again, for the same reason I play the male characters I play: because they interest me as people. I want to tell their stories. I want to find out what those stories are.

What can I do as a female character that I can't do as a male character? The answer is self-evident: be a female character.

Perhaps I'm being unclear. It's often as though my characters pick me, rather than the other way around. Something, maybe a picture, maybe a character class idea, maybe some story I read or hear about, or even somebody I know (or yes, somebody I wish I was or some game advantage I wish to exploit -- nothing wrong with that) sets something off in my mind. This person takes shape in my imagination and I get interested in them. I define them through the game system (which is usually a pretty fun process, trying to fit my imagination into the rule set) and then play them.

There's no question of committing to one gender role or another. If the character that grows out of my mind is female, I play a female character.

Honestly, until this thread, I never realised I was doing something so controversial. All the guys I played D&D with as a teen did the same. It was never a big deal and I'm pretty amused that it is such a big deal to people.

After all that, I find myself unable to let fusangite's points go by without comment. I want to say up front that I'm all in favour of DMs doing whatever the heck they like. Allow cross-gender play or not, as you like. I do, however, find your reasons almost completely illogical, and I can no more turn away from an illogical argument than I can... um... something I can't do. Here we go:
(1) They have found a technicality in the rules that playing a female character allows them to exploit. E.g. playing a Voria priestess in Runequest because you get Rune Magic right away.

--Often this leads to the person poorly playing the character and making "her" indistinguishable from a man.
Okay, this falls under that category of not letting people play character types different from themselves. I disagree with this notion and don't believe that the way to improve people's role-playing is to limit their choices. This logically equivalent to saying human beings shouldn't play elves because they'll do a bad job of it.

It's also logically equivalent to disallowing elves because they get bonuses to Dexterity or can take elven prestige classes. I mean, if you disallow playing women in a particular game or setting because you think they're unbalanced, that's one thing. It doesn't provide a rationale for applying a blanket policy, though.
(2) They believe that they can gain diplomatic and financial advantage on the basis of charm.

--This essentially applies enhancement bonuses to a bunch of Charisma-based skills for free.
You give female characters enhancement bonuses to Charisma-related skills for free? Why? And how does the fact that you give female characters enhancement bonuses on Charisma-related skills translate into not allowing male players to play female characters? Weird.
(3) They wish that they were attractive young women in real life and want to roleplay this experience because they find it emotionally gratifying.
(4) They are frustrated by the fact that attractive young have power over them in real life and want to roleplay this experience of disempowerment from the opposite perspective.

--I am not a counsellor and do not want to do therapy in the guise of gaming.
I see. But somehow, allowing a wimp to play a big burly fighter because he wishes he were strong and athletic in real life is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. Uh-huh. Or do you also demand that your players play characters whose physical traits and abilities mirror their own?

What do you care if a player is treating themselves for some emotional problem? Why should that bother you? As long as they're having fun and you're having fun, who cares WHY anyone is doing anything? That whole "They shouldn't do this because their motivation is bad" argument always seems bizarre to me in any context. Why do you CARE what somebody's motivation is -- and how do you know?

Teflon Billy says it interferes with his enjoyment of the game because the male players he's known who have played female characters have inevitably behaved like idiots. I'm of the opinion that a player who acts like an idiot when playing a female character is likely to act like an idiot most other times, but this solution obviously works for him. But you're saying you don't allow it because you disapprove of the motivations people have. Which baffles me.

And so I see Sir T Billy has re-entered the fray with:
get ready for a deluge of "I just see the character in my head as a woman" and it's ilk.
I just have to ask -- is this a dismissal of such points? I guess I ask because, yeah, that's exactly my point (only stated in eleven words instead of fifteen paragraphs -- curse you).
 

mythago said:
Qlipoth, often in a discussion your goal is not to reason with a particular poster--it's to show that they don't, in fact, want to hold a reasonable discussion.

When you've tried everything else...
 

fusangite said:
My experience is that the vast majority of men who choose to play a woman do so for one of the following reasons...

Whoah.

That hasn't been my experience at all. And you know what else? I was talking with Jesus last night, and I said, "Jesus, what do you think of guys playing female characters?" and Jesus said, "Render under Caesar what is Caesar's, but let any guy mature enough to handle it do so," and then I said, "Dude, you're milking the Caesar thing," but anyway, the point is, I have all this counterexperience, PLUS I have the words of Christ Himself!!!!!!!

And that all means absafrickinglutely NOTHING. Because it's anecdotal evidence, just like what you've got. Setting it up like scientific truth does not change that.

So pardon me if I'm less than enthused at the prospect of a Socratic dialogue with you in the questioner's seat to counter your anecdotal evidence.

That said, I think the first post I made in this thread covers it. I freely admitted that a really really great actor could have done the character concept with either gender, but for me personally, it was easier to do it with a female character.

And because it's fun. I don't have a huge desire to be a woman, but I don't have a huge desire to be blond, tall, thin, short, swarthy, or elaborately tattooed, either -- and those are all flavor text bits that I might choose for a character. None of those features adds anything to any roll or check, but I've never had a DM ask me if I couldn't do my character concept just as well as a short, hairy person when I asked to play someone who was lanky, bald, and six-foot-seven.

So, to get Socratic right back atcha -- if you played with hypothetical gamers who were mature and were not going to be gratuitously oogy about it, would you let them play across gender?

And if not, why not?

One final potential answer to your question: I'm a writer. An extension of your logic would strongly imply that I have no right to write about female characters. After all, I can't write any better than I roleplay -- I can take longer and think more, but the improvisational nature of roleplaying adds a certain spark that matches that, I think. So what's the difference? Should I avoid having female protagonists in my stories?

Or is it just that you personally can't get past hearing a guy say something that's supposed to be coming from the mouth of a woman? If the player isn't playing skanky or bombshellish, and you still have a problem with it, that's you, not the players.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't nix people who are doing it badly, so please don't twist it to imply that I want a rosy world where everyone can play out their adolescent fantasies to their hearts' content. I'm saying: If they weren't doing it for any of those 5 reasons, what would your problem be? Because I think that those 5 reasons are straw men. Nobody is defending the 13-year-old playing the sexy vampy trampy version of the girl who won't talk to him at school. That's what 13-year-olds do. We're defending people who can actually roleplay, and have an interest in exploring a character who happens to be female.

-Tacky
 

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