It seems to me that you presume that ability scores and proficiencies define how a player must play their character or how a DM must treat a character.
I mean... that IS the character.
yeah we flesh out our back stories we all have our own little flare, but yes 100% at the end of the day a Dex 8 character is below average dex, a cha 8 character is below average on force or personality and likeability...
Sure, if a player wants to invoke the fact that they have special training when describing what their PC is doing, it might earn them auto-success or it might allow them to use that proficiency for any roll that might be called. But I'm not setting DCs or declaring auto success/failure based on the character sheet. I'm doing that based on the approach the PC is taking to solving the challenge I've set before them.
the character sheet IS THE CHARACTER...
If the approach is one that is better, then yes. There are plenty of ways to describe approaches that do not require special expertise. I would caution that first player, though, that if they are not good at X they might not want to be the one to volunteer to do X as they will be worse off than the player that is good at X if a roll is called for.
ugh... wow I hate this style of DMing.... Sorry nothing personal but this seems like the worst.
I think it is also worth mentioning that, in game, the PCs can communicate to each other (most of the time). If the PC who is bad at X has a good idea, they could share it with the PC who is good at X. That way, the good X PC could give it a go. Seems like a good strategy, in some circumstances anyway.
You keep saying PC and I am a bit confused... if I have a great idea (me the player not the character) and the other player across the table is good at it can I just advise him OUT of game, or do we have pretend my CHARACTER (PC is player CHARACTER) is adviseing someone better then me?
"Fast talking", "magic words", "flowery language". No, just no. Can we avoid that language to have a productive discussion?
I don't know how else to say it but I will try.
Can a skilled player with an unskilled character have an esier time at a task then an unskilled player with a skilled character would? I think the answer is yes in your games.
Does it need to be said, just because a player described a great approach to a challenge (in 4 words or 40) does not mean that it will be granted auto-success.
but you weigh the out of game description over the in game ability...unless i am really off here.
Again, the players can roleplay their PCs however they like. Just better hope that the adjudication doesn't call for a roll because there really is no such thing as "roleplaying around the penalties" once the dice come out.
but as you and other point out if you describe it right you can avoid the die rolls.
Is that really how you envision our table?
based on how you describe it yes... now I assume you must have similar skill level of players that none have any handicap so you can do it and have it be fun for all... but I can't understand how you would introduce a less skilled or handi capped player to this.
If that truly bothers you, another approach is not to introduce puzzles that the players can solve "out of game".
or... you can make the character matter more then the player and as such they have to choose... play a character to there own strengths or realize they can not always use there own strengths.